#and when we all stared at her for a while she went 'well it's just because uh. he's so good at looking respectable'

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Intoxication [S. R]

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

wc: 9.2k

Summary: when Spencer and reader accidentally consume aphrodisiacs, it seems impossible to maintain control of themselves. It all comes down to who will lose their mind first.

warnings: +18, mdni!! alcohol consumption, mentions of weed, unintentional use of aphrodisiacs, explicit descriptions, oral (f receiving) fingering, kissing, porn with plot, p in v, protected sex, no y/n!

It had been just over half an hour since I entered the fraternity building, fully aware that within the first second, I’d feel the need to leave. Attending any gathering wasn’t a regular thing for me. The noise, the crowds, and the multitude of germs everywhere were reason enough to avoid them.

However, that time, I thought, why not? I had never been to one of those university parties and wanted to experience it. However, I never considered the fact that, to enjoy one, you either: a) went with a group of friends or b) drank until you forgot your name and the discomfort you felt about yourself. I didn’t have the first option, nor did I want to do the second. So, after a few minutes of reflection, I decided I would walk back to my apartment and go straight to bed.

The place was huge, and since my postgraduate program didn’t include the benefit of dormitories, I rarely found myself in places like that. I was about to leave when a hand grabbed my forearm to stop me. In front of me, smiling widely, was her. The moment I saw her, I could swear my face lit up.

“Hi”

“Spencer! I didn’t think I’d see you here.”

Without letting go of my arm, she came closer, wrapping me in a hug and planting a kiss on my cheek before I could react.

I quickly glanced at her, and in the dim light, I noticed her wearing a fitted, spaghetti-strap dress in a deep burgundy red with delicate floral embroidery that looked hand-drawn on the sheer fabric. The material, likely chiffon or tulle, clung to her figure as if custom-made. I tried to focus on her leather jacket instead because the last thing I wanted was to make her uncomfortable by staring too long.

“I was just about to leave, actually.”

“Why?” she asked, noticing my sigh.

“It’s just... I don’t know anyone here.”

“Well, that problem is now solved,” she kindly murmured.

I didn’t even get the chance to respond when she had already walked over to another girl, whispering something in her ear, probably to let her know she’d be away for a while.

Even though I wanted to decline to stay, the truth was that I genuinely enjoyed her company. Rejecting her would have been too rude. We had met some time ago thanks to the advanced classes she took, which overlapped with mine. She was younger than me, of course, but only by one or two years.

She had always been kind to me, attentive, and one could say she was a friend. After all, I trusted her enough to let her hold my hand and guide me through the crowd, despite my aversion to physical contact… and people.

“It’d be a crime to let you leave so early after finally coming to a party,” she breathed once we were both seated on a tiny couch where the noise was slightly muffled. At least she had been considerate in that regard.

“I don’t even know why I came,” I said, shifting uncomfortably. She was leaning against one side, legs crossed, looking at me with a smile. “I don’t like parties.”

“Do you like drinking?” she asked. I shook my head “Maybe that’s the root of the problem.”

“Getting drunk to the point of losing control isn’t my thing,” I replied.

“That’s not what it’s about,” she murmured almost compassionately “It’s more like… fuel for your social battery, you know? You don’t have to deal with these people. I don’t even know half of them, but the guys in this fraternity are disgustingly rich and just want to get as many girls drunk as possible to sleep with whoever they can. They won’t mind if you drink a little. Enough to have fun, but not so much you end up in some stranger’s bed.”

I thought about it for a second and silently nodded. I didn’t want to look like an idiot in front of her by saying I didn’t want to drink because, come on, what kind of university student doesn’t drink?

“I understand your point, and I don’t mean to be a buzzkill, but alcohol has a more complex impact than it seems. It’s not just something that ‘fuels your social battery’; it’s a central nervous system depressant, which means it slows down brain and motor functions. That initial feeling of euphoria or relaxation happens because it inhibits the prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain that regulates judgment and self-awareness. So, technically, drinking a little might make you feel more uninhibited or confident, but it can also impair your ability to make rational decisions if you overdo it, even if you don’t notice right away.”

I paused, gauging how much more I should say before losing her interest. Hearing no objections, I continued:

“Additionally, strong liquors, which have high ethanol concentrations, can hit your system faster than diluted drinks. And if you drink too quickly, you could easily exceed your liver’s ability to metabolize the alcohol. The excess ethanol stays in your bloodstream, raising your blood alcohol levels and increasing the risk of intoxication.”

I avoided looking directly at her, partly because I didn’t want to get distracted by her gaze and partly because I was nervous around her.

“It’s not that I want to ruin your fun, but if you’re going to drink, you should do it slowly, alternating with water, and never on an empty stomach. Not to seem smarter than everyone else, but because staying in control can be the difference between a fun night and a situation you don’t want to be in.”

I expected her to look bored, confused, or even indifferent, assuming she’d left halfway through my rambling. But when I looked at her, I was surprised by the admiration shining in her eyes, accompanied by an amused smile.

“All right, genius boy, if you know all that and basically have the perfect recipe for not making stupid mistakes while drinking, why do you still refuse?” she teased playfully. I didn’t know what to say, but luckily, she answered for me “Listen, I drove here. How about we make a deal? We can drink a little, have a good time, maybe dance if you want, and if either of us starts doing something embarrassing, the soberest one will make sure to drag the other to the car and drive them home. Deal?”

She handed me her car keys, and I wasn’t sure if the brush of her hand against mine was intentional or if she had decided to linger a little longer.

I agreed to her proposal, and a second later, she was already off her seat, walking toward where I assumed the kitchen was. No one noticed us entering, too absorbed in their own business to care if we were strangers.

There was every type of alcohol scattered around, and she took the liberty of pouring me a shot of a clear liquid, which I guessed was vodka. She warned me to drink it in one gulp, and when the warmth hit my throat, I barely managed to avoid coughing. If she noticed, she didn’t say anything.

“Tastes like… strawberry.”

“It’s good, right?” she laughed, giving my shoulder a playful nudge.

Our previous seat was already taken, so she opted for us to stand in a quiet corner. I have to admit that, although I still felt slightly awkward, the vodka was having the desired effect; making me feel more animated to talk.

Talking to her was almost hypnotic. Maybe it was the rhythmic movement of her lips, still stained with traces of what had once been red lipstick, or perhaps it was her tone, but it made me feel like I had to watch her. She never faltered when she spoke, always exuding confidence and calm, no matter the topic.

On the other hand, whenever I responded, I completely lost focus. No matter what I said, she kept looking at me with a wide smile, nodding, and even leaning closer when something made her laugh. But her laugh wasn’t mocking—no, it was as if she genuinely found my intellectual jokes or nonsensical remarks funny.

Gradually, my glass emptied, and she guided me back to the kitchen, serving us moderately but consistently. After an hour, all my nerves had vanished, leaving only a normal guy enjoying the terrible background music, unconcerned about how dirty the place was, and utterly captivated by the woman next to him.

“It’s strange, you know? I didn’t think I’d enjoy something like this. Parties always seemed so… chaotic,”

She looked around with a slight smile.

“That’s true. They’re not exactly calm, but in a way, the chaos has its charm. It lets you leave everything else behind for a while.”

“I suppose you’re right. Sometimes, you just need to disconnect.”

“You seem less tense now, huh? Are you sure it’s not the vodka helping with that?”

She moved closer, almost leaning against my chest in a friendly way, and seeing her looking up at me made my face feel hot.

“Maybe. But it’s also largely due to the company.”

She seemed surprised by my sudden boldness and let out a laugh that I interpreted as a sign of approval. We continued drinking, laughing, and soon my stomach demanded food. Even in my slightly tipsy state, I still remembered that eating would help lessen the effects of the alcohol.

I have to admit that the way I held her waist to guide her to the kitchen was entirely intentional. However, she didn’t seem bothered by the contact. By this point, I’d realized that no one really cared about what we took or didn’t take, so we felt free to rummage through the pantry.

“There are chips, pretzels, Cheetos, some cookies...” she began listing, handing me each package she found.

I grabbed a stray cookie, and suddenly, she let out a sigh of admiration.

“What is it?”

“Chocolate,” she murmured happily. It was a half-eaten, luxurious-looking golden package with no label “Do you want some?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. Chocolate has properties that can slightly boost energy and mood. Both alcohol and chocolate can be hard for the body to handle, especially with a combination of high sugar and alcohol content. This can lead to stomach discomfort, dizziness, or a stronger hangover the next day.”

But she wasn’t listening. She had already popped a sizeable piece of chocolate into her mouth. Immediately, she offered me a piece, slightly bigger than hers.

“You have to try it,” she moaned.

I resisted, but I have to admit that the fact she grabbed my shirt and pulled me closer caught me off guard enough to let her slip the chocolate into my mouth.

“Hey!”

“You’ll thank me later.”

It was delicious, that’s for sure. Like a pair of sneaky raccoons, we kept scavenging for snacks in the kitchen until we were satisfied. She grabbed a bag of chips, and I took the bag of pretzels.

After our little break, she poured us another round of drinks, and something inside me told me it was time to stop. I decided that would be my last glass for the night.

Let’s dance she suddenly whispered, and once again, I let her lead me toward the crowd.

I didn’t know how to dance; I think that was pretty obvious. But the situation managed to make me forget that fact.

She was patient with me and laughed every time I made a mistake. Even though there was smoke around me, probably from weed, that didn't stop me from staring intently, and even somewhat intimidated, at my friend. Beautiful, statuesque, and drunk friend.

We danced for a long time until something in her swaying movements, in the way she smiled at me, began to make my head spin. It was as if the atmosphere was charged with something more—something I couldn’t identify at first.

She leaned closer, and my pulse began to quicken slightly. Her hands rose to tangle in my neck, bringing a warm sensation that followed: my thoughts seemed clearer, sharper. I wondered if it was the alcohol, but then something different began to course through my skin.

The warmth intensified, not just in my body but in my mind as well. I felt more alert, more awake, yet the calmness of the vodka lingered, balancing the sensation. My skin felt more sensitive, as if every little touch sent vibrations through me in a more intense way.

My eyes focused more on her movements, her voice, and the way the air filled with her perfume. I wanted to get closer, as if there were an invisible force pulling me toward her. And though my body responded with a soft yearning, my mind remained present, conscious of every second.

By the way she was looking at me, I imagined I wasn’t the only one experiencing these kinds of emotions.

“Sweetheart.”

“Hmm?”

“Can we sit down for a moment? I’m completely sweaty, and the smell of weed is starting to bother me.”

“Of course.”

My hands rested on her waist, unsure of where else to go, and we stumbled out of the crowd, finding a couch to collapse onto.

I was sweaty too, and we were both breathing heavily. When I saw her lean her head back against the seat, leaving her neck exposed, something stirred inside me.

“You move well, Reid.”

“Don’t lie.”

“I mean it. You just need a little confidence,” she smiled. Perhaps the alcohol dulled her sense of personal space, which is why she leaned so close to me. “You’re so smart that, with a bit of practice, you’d be the most skilled at a lot of physical activities.”

Did she know how nervous she was making me? My face was already flushed from the alcohol, the effort, and now from the way she was looking at me while twirling a strand of her hair around her finger.

I wanted to say something else, but a voice interrupted mine: a tall, burly guy accompanied by two others who seemed to be flanking him. Probably a member of the fraternity hosting the party.

He specifically addressed her, asking how she was enjoying the party and throwing in a compliment, clearly with ulterior motives. For a moment, I felt disheartened. Of course, she could have gone with him and I would have understood. I was far too used to rejection.

“I’m having a great time—with my friend. Thanks,” she exclaimed, cordial but curt.

“Want a drink?”

“Honestly, no.”

By the uncomfortable smile she gave the men, I assumed she was politely ending the conversation. With some reluctance, the guys walked away.

Suddenly, my breath caught when I felt her hand rest on my thigh, sliding painfully slowly down to my knee. I couldn’t even hear her words over the heat of her fingers on my pants.

“Sorry?”

“I thought you were going to say something, earlier.”

“No,” I quickly replied, smiling like an idiot because of the way she had leaned toward me. “Nothing.”

“I like listening to you. You know so many things, and you don’t make me feel dumb when you explain them. That’s very sexy.”

“Sexy?”

“Yeah,” she smiled, because I’d replied in a voice an octave higher than normal. “You are very sexy.”

Her compliment was followed by a soft, distracted kiss on the line of my jaw, which sent my brain into overdrive.

“Uhm… you… you’re beautiful. Very beautiful.”

My clumsy compliment seemed to please her, and I felt one of her nails, long and painted black, tracing circles on the skin of my knee. Each small movement felt deliberate, as if she knew exactly what she was doing.

“Did you know fireflies don’t just glow to communicate but also to… attract?”

Her voice broke the silence between us, soft but layered with a double meaning that made me lift my eyes to her.

“Yes, I know,” I responded automatically, my brain switching to autopilot. “Bioluminescent signals are a form of courtship. The light patterns vary by species and can be very specific.”

She turned her head toward me, her lips curving into a lazy smile.

“Of course you’d know that. But tell me something—do you think it actually works? Making someone notice you just by glowing?”

My throat went dry. There was something about the way she was looking at me, like she was expecting a more personal answer than a scientific one.

“I guess it depends on who you’re trying to attract,” I murmured, feeling ridiculously exposed under her gaze.

“That makes sense.”

Her hand slid slightly—barely noticeable—toward the edge of my knee. After tapping her fingers on my pants, she withdrew it.

She didn’t move from the couch, and neither did I. There was something about her posture that held me captive—the way she leaned back against the seat, relaxed yet naturally elegant. Her dress had ridden up slightly along her thighs, revealing more skin than I felt prepared to handle at that moment. I tried to look elsewhere, but it was as if my eyes had a will of their own, always returning to the same place.

“Are you okay?” she asked, her voice soft but laced with a hint of amusement.

“Yes, of course,” I replied quickly, turning my head in the other direction. Perhaps too quickly, because my neck cracked slightly in the process.

She didn’t say anything, but her suppressed laughter made me feel even more awkward. In the silence that followed, I forced myself to focus on something safer: the empty glass on the table, the flickering lights through the window, anything but the curve of her leg or the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.

“It’s hot, isn’t it?” she commented suddenly, with almost theatrical casualness. Then, without warning, she leaned forward as if to adjust her shoe, causing the neckline of her dress to dip even further.

“Do you think so?” I muttered, my voice raspier than I intended.

She smiled, a gesture somewhere between innocence and knowing.

“Yes, definitely. Though maybe it’s because we’re sitting so close,” she said, glancing around as if she had only just noticed the temperature.

Her words felt like both a slap and a caress at the same time. I tried to keep my gaze fixed on her face, but it didn’t help that her eyes shone with a kind of mischievous intent. Then she lifted one leg, bending it to get more comfortable on the couch, and her knee accidentally brushed against my thigh.

“Did you know you have a very particular way of distracting yourself?” she remarked while toying with the hem of her dress, as if unaware of the chaos she was causing in my head.

“Do I?” my voice sounded weak, almost a whisper.

She nodded slowly, leaning in a bit closer until I could feel the warmth of her proximity.

“Yes. It’s like you’re trying to avoid something but… you can’t.”

My throat went dry. I wanted to say something clever, to steer the conversation away, anything to regain some ground. But instead, all that came out was a nervous, forced laugh.

She didn’t stop looking at me. Then, with exasperating slowness, she smoothed the fabric of her dress over her thigh—a casual gesture.

“You know, sometimes you seem so self-aware. It’s something that can be endearing, but also… well, how do I put it?” she paused for a moment, bringing a finger to her lips as if she were reflecting. “It makes you seem easier to impress.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s nothing, Reid. It’s just me rambling” her voice softened, and I felt the lightest touch on my nose as her finger grazed it. I tried to ignore the fact that her gaze had lingered on my lips “Scattered thoughts I have in my head.”

Without warning, she let out a loud exhale and leaned back into the couch, arching her back as if trying to relieve some muscle tension. I know she probably wasn’t aware of the movement, but it was what finally made me lose the little composure I had left.

“I need to use the restroom. Can you give me a moment?”

I escaped. Cowardly, completely, I got up and practically bolted toward the bathroom, desperate for a moment of peace. As soon as I entered, I realized I had an obvious problem in my pants—I was hard as a rock, and that wasn’t good. I looked at myself in the mirror, surprised at how flushed my face was. My pupils were dilated, my lips dry… What the hell was happening to me?

It quickly became clear that she was the reason for my situation.

The alcohol prevented me from feeling the embarrassment I surely deserved, and instead, I felt like my head was spinning. I placed a hand over the fabric of my pants, letting out a frustrated, pained groan.

I stayed there for a while, trying to think of something that would make my erection go away, but nothing worked. A couple of knocks on the door startled me, and that forced me to leave. Once in the hallway, I walked for a bit until I bumped into someone.

“Spencer! I’ve been looking for you. Are you okay?”

“No! I mean, yes… it’s just…”

I needed to think of something quickly—something believable, but not catastrophic. However, it was hard to concentrate with her body so close to mine, mere inches away from her noticing my situation.

“Did you throw up?”

“No, no, it’s not that. It’s nothing. I think the vodka didn’t sit well with me, uh, maybe I got dizzy from dancing, I don’t know. I think it’s best if I leave.”

“Poor thing,” she murmured, pouting “I’ll take you home right now.”

“I can take a cab.”

“Nonsense. That was our agreement, remember? If one of us was in bad shape, the other would take care of them. Plus, I was the one who encouraged you to drink. I’d feel bad if something happened to you.”

She was already putting on her jacket—she’d been holding it, probably suspecting the situation—and tried to find the keys in her pocket. My outstretched hand reminded her that she’d already given them to me earlier.

When she placed her hand on the small of my back to guide me out, my breathing deepened. The sensation of excitement coursed through me in a way I couldn’t ignore. I realized that something in me desperately wanted her. Too much.

It wasn’t an impulsive desire but a subtle one that had been building throughout the night—with every glance, every gesture. Perhaps the vodka had intensified my evident attraction to her, but whatever the reason, it had turned into something far more palpable.

It was almost as if my body was begging me to stop her right then and there, to kiss her recklessly, and maybe, just maybe, ease the relentless ache inside me.

The cool night air made me feel better, and as the noise faded behind us, I began to calm down. I fervently tried to hide the bulge in my pants, but the truth was she didn’t even seem to notice. Then again, it would’ve been strange to catch her staring at my crotch, right?

“Are you sure you’re in a condition to drive?”

“I’ve driven home in far worse states of drunkenness. Don’t worry,” she smiled.

She looked more lucid now, as if her intoxication had vanished in an instant. I decided to trust her abilities.

The drive home was silent, and I kept shifting in my seat, trying to find strategic positions to avoid embarrassment. I guess she attributed my silence to the supposed discomfort I was feeling, as she didn’t try to start a conversation.

She didn’t say anything when she caught me looking at her through the rearview mirror. It was an innocent glance, at least on my part, simply admiring her. Her lips were driving me crazy, her eyes, slightly narrowed from the lack of light and smudged with mascara, seemed the most beautiful to me. I didn’t know what she saw in me, but I think—no, I feel—that it was something she liked.

“Thank you so much for bringing me home… and for everything.”

“Did you have fun?”

“Quite a lot, actually.”

“We should do this more often.”

“Go to university parties?”

“Just go out in general. To a bar, grab some drinks, a coffee, the library if you’d prefer,” she laughed “The place doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re there.”

Was she implying she wanted a date with me? I swallowed hard and looked at her, trying to decipher what she wanted me to do. I couldn’t figure it out.

“I’d like that, yes. We can talk about that later. Thanks again for the ride.”

A kiss on my cheek marked her goodbye, and I rushed out, eager to get inside my apartment. I was about to unlock the building’s door when the sound of a car horn made me turn around.

“Hey, would you mind if I use your bathroom? I’ll be quick,” she promised.

I needed to get to the shower and turn on the cold water, but I didn’t protest when she turned off the car engine.

Almost no one visited me in the apartment, so I kept the space however I pleased. It wasn’t really messy, but there were plenty of things on the desk and several books scattered around.

She entered, as she had said, rushing to the bathroom. It was only then that I dared to put a hand over my pants, swallowing a moan that was about to escape from my throat.

In my limited sexual experiences, nothing like this had ever happened to me, and I wondered what the cause might have been. Alcohol couldn’t be blamed, of course, but it was responsible for ruining my ability to react enough to find another explanation.

The shirt began to feel heavy on me, and almost out of necessity, I undid the first buttons to let myself breathe. I tried to ventilate my skin by tugging at the fabric with the tips of my fingers, but it was useless. I sighed.

I glanced around the room, just wanting to make sure nothing was embarrassing in view, and at that moment, she came out of the bathroom. She looked flushed and had some wet hair, as if she had washed her face.

“You okay?”

“Yes, just… suddenly felt a bit feverish”

“Let me check”

My intentions were purely medical when I cupped her face with one hand, putting the back of the other against her forehead to confirm or deny my suspicions. Of course, I hadn’t considered how close we would be. Or maybe I had, subconsciously, and that’s why I moved forward.

My choice of words wasn't the best either.

“You’re hot,”

“I don’t think it’s as much as you.”

A daring smile slid across her lips, and I held my breath as her fingers traced up to the line of my collarbone, exposed by my shirt.

“Why are you saying that?”

“Don’t you like it?”

“It’s just… I don’t understand it.”

A soft laugh echoed in my ears.

“Well, I think you’re very handsome. Would there be any other reason for that?”

I swallowed deeply. She noticed the movement of my Adam’s apple.

“No… I think… I think not. It’s the most logical thing.”

“Don’t they tell you that often?” she murmured, genuinely confused. I shook my head “That’s a shame.”

Her hand, which had been tentatively caressing my skin, moved up to my neck and pulled me just a few inches closer to her.

“Hey, Spencer.”

“Yes?”

“Could I kiss you?”

A chill ran down my spine. And without thinking, I answered yes.

Her mouth found mine with a softness that contrasted with the whirlwind of sensations inside me. It was a heady contrast: the sweetness of her lips against the intensity of the desire that had been building up in every fiber of my being.

My hands instinctively moved to her waist, hesitating for a moment, as if fearing that this might just be a product of my imagination. But she didn’t hesitate. Her body leaned into me, closing any distance that remained.

Her lips were insistent, demanding, and before I could process what was happening, her hand slid down to my chest, pushing me gently back until my back collided with the wall.

“I’m sorry…” I managed to murmur between kisses, pulling my face slightly away. My voice came out more trembly than I wanted.

She raised an eyebrow, tilting her face toward mine, her fingers now brushing my jawline.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“For this” my gaze dropped quickly before returning to her eyes. “No… I didn’t want you to feel it. It’s embarrassing.”

For a moment, I thought she would pull away, that the spell of the moment would break. But instead, her lips curved into a mischievous smile.

“Embarrassing? I thought I was the only one feeling all this tension,” her tone was low, almost a whisper, but filled with a certainty that made my breath grow even more erratic.

Before I could respond, her lips captured mine again, this time with more intensity. The kiss was everything I didn’t know I needed: desperate, intoxicating, completely consumed by the connection between us. I felt her body press against mine, her curves fitting perfectly as if they were made to be there. And then, all my doubts, all my attempts to hold back, vanished.

My mind was a whirlwind. Every touch of her lips, every time her tongue sought mine, was like a fire I couldn’t put out. My face was hot, yes, but now not because of the alcohol, not even from the effort of holding myself back. It was her closeness, her touch, her condescending voice still echoing in my head.

She knows what she’s doing. And she’s slowly killing me.

“Hey, wait…”

“What’s wrong?”

“Do you feel okay with this?”

“A lot. Do you want to stop?”

“No. It’s just that… you’ve been drinking. I don’t want you to think I took advantage of you” my voice came out hoarse, full of doubt and repressed desire.

Her eyes met mine, firm and warm at the same time, as if her gaze could completely disarm me.

“Relax. You’ve been drinking too, pretty, and I think if anyone could make that accusation, it would be you. Do you feel like I’m taking advantage of you?”

“No”

“I’m fully aware of everything. I don’t even feel drunk anymore. The only thing that’s making me dizzy right now is you, Spencer…”

I shivered when I heard my name on her lips like that. She continued:

“I’m just as anxious as you are. I’ve been holding back all night, trying not to make this too obvious, but I can’t anymore. Please, don’t doubt me. Don’t doubt what I want. I want you”

Her confession hit my heart like a blow and ignited a spark that set my entire body on fire. My hand moved up her back until it tangled in her hair, while the other rested on her hip. The pull was gentle but enough for her to understand that my inner struggle had ended. I wasn’t resisting this anymore.

I wanted her too. I wanted her now.

“I never imagined…”

My words were barely audible as our lips brushed in a kiss that was both an explosion of emotions and a long-awaited relief. Her mouth was soft, and so perfectly synchronized with mine that I felt like the world stopped at that moment.

Her hands gripped my shoulders, anchoring the connection between us, while my thumb traced a slow path along her jawline, savoring every detail of her skin. It was more than a kiss. It was the confirmation of something that had been lingering all evening.

When we parted just a centimeter to breathe, our foreheads stayed pressed together.

“Did that clear your doubts?”

“You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say all that,” I replied with a weak smile, the only one my pounding heart allowed me to form.

“Then stop overthinking”

The space between us disappeared again as we kissed with desperation we had both been suppressing. Her low laugh vibrated against my lips, and I couldn’t help but smile. How did she do it? How did she drive me crazy with so little effort?

But now wasn’t the time for questions. It was time to feel.

The whole world had reduced itself to him: his warm breath, his lips that wavered between soft and desperate, and the hands that roamed my waist with a mix of reverence and clumsiness, making me want him even more. Spencer had always been an enigma to me, a balance between restraint and passion that I didn't know how to decipher... until now.

I had waited for this moment more than I would ever admit. Maybe it had been the way he looked at me when he thought I didn't notice, or the warmth in his voice when he said my name, as if it were something sacred. But now, with his body pressed against mine and his doubts finally gone, I knew I hadn't imagined anything.

It was as if the pieces of a puzzle I had been trying to put together in the dark finally clicked into place, and the resulting image was more beautiful than I had ever dreamed.

Wanting to reverse the roles, it was now him who gently pushed me against the wall, and I felt the control he always seemed to have begin to crack. His breath was heavy, his body trembling slightly, a sign that this was as new and overwhelming for him as it was for me.

"Spencer..." I murmured his name again, feeling it resonate in my chest at the same time his lips moved more intensely against mine. "Can I ask you something?"

I received an affirmative exhalation, and to let me speak, his lips moved to the hollow of my neck. Although my mouth was free, the soft and wet kisses I was receiving blurred my judgment a bit.

"Tell me”

"Did you really feel bad at the party? Or was it just..."

"I didn't want you to notice what you were doing to me. Although I think at this point it doesn't matter much, right?"

Contrary to what I expected, Spencer pushed his hips against mine, as if he wanted to prove that it was true. I could even call it a claim, something that said: look what you did to me. And I wanted him to know just how much my body was begging for him.

Carefully, I moved one of his hands from my waist, and before he could protest, I guided it to one of my thighs, dangerously close to my core. I was glad I had thought of lingerie as a great complement to my dress, maybe in an attempt to feel sexy even if no one saw it. But now, he was going to see it.

Spencer understood my silent request. Those long, slender fingers, which seemed made for more than just flipping through the pages of a book or scribbling frantic notes on paper, slid across my smooth skin. I sighed as I remembered the veins tracing a map under his fair skin, like rivers of contained energy.

Until they finally reached where I needed them. And his touch... God, his touch was something else. They were hands made for discovery, for holding, for exploring, but in those moments, they seemed to be made only for me.

Spencer wasn't an overly bold guy, so it didn't surprise me that he just traced shapes above my panties, as if he wanted to diagnose my anatomy before making any move. My sighs at his ear seemed to please him.

Suddenly, he stopped kissing me, and I huffed, since I liked the attention he was giving my shoulder, until I felt his lips drop just slightly. A loud, pathetic moan escaped me when he squeezed my tits while burying his face to leave an experimental kiss.

I was barely processing that when he knelt in front of me and, carefully, took the edge of my dress and lifted it.

My legs trembled with anticipation at the thought of what he was going to do next, and then I felt his lips brush my thigh. He started gentle, kind, but soon he began sucking every bit of skin he could, and in the end, he made sure to leave bites strong enough to make me whimper.

Who would have thought that this man, seemingly so inexperienced, turned out to offer the best foreplay a woman could desire?

I squealed as I felt his kisses trail down to the fabric of my panties, pausing for a moment to lick the length of my still-clothed pussy.

“You’re dripping wet,” he observed. I was too focused on not giving in right then and there to say anything "Is oral something you're into?"

“I don’t know,” I exclaimed honestly. I didn’t care how vulnerable I looked as I confessed that no man had ever dared to give me head “You?”

“It’s an idea that piques my curiosity, yes.”

Gently he slid some of the fabric aside to clear the way for his tongue, and I felt as if my entire body was only aware of the parts he was probing, kissing, sucking. When he raised my thigh to shoulder height, deepening his thrusts, I felt like I was going to pass out.

I lowered my hand to his thick head and tried, in vain, to push him away from me. I honestly didn’t have the strength or desire to do so, much less when he had picked up the pace.

I moaned a sweet nickname out loud and then Spencer pulled away, looking up at me with glossy, swollen lips.

“Take me to bed, please.”

He didn’t need me to say it twice as he immediately stood up and took me by the waist to guide me to said spot. I was able to taste myself on his lips and for some reason that only turned me on.

Once we hit the mattress the way he laid me down was gentle and I sighed at that. How could he be so sweet all the time? I wondered. And worse yet, how much would this little adventure affect my future expectations?

Because if it was about standards, I was finding out that Spencer Reid was the standard.

Seemingly more enthralled now by my lips than my pussy, he continued with the make-out session we were having. With each touch we had, my excitement was increasing more and more. In the midst of it all I managed to unbutton his shirt and take it off to leave it somewhere on the bed; the semi-darkness of the room shielded any insecurities he might be feeling, as well as my own.

“You are painfully stunning, did you know?”

My tone was one of reproach, and he laughed at that, looking down almost embarrassed. Maybe he wasn't used to compliments, but something told me he was definitely enjoying it.

I heard him murmur something under his breath about me, while he took down the straps of my dress. My hands almost instinctively went to unbuckle his belt, and before I could do anything, he pulled away from me. Needless to say, this left me confused.

"Sorry, I..."

“You don't want to?” I murmured understandingly. I thought maybe he wasn't a big fan of these situations, and I understood, but somehow I felt hurt.

"No! Sure I want to. I want it a lot, but..." he tried not to look at me, as if avoiding confrontation "It's just that I don't have any protection here”

A laugh escaped my lips, and I feared he might interpret it as mockery, so I stretched my neck to steal another kiss.

"One would think there are many girls who pass through these sheets."

"Don't make fun of me."

"I'm not making fun of you. It's cute, actually. It even makes me feel guilty," I murmured, smiling "For a second, I was afraid something had made you uncomfortable."

"No, it's not that."

I hesitated for a second whether I should suggest what was on my mind.

"We could do it like this. It doesn't bother me."

"It's not just about avoiding an unwanted pregnancy..." he began. At that moment, I saw him return to his usual nerdy mode. "Although, of course, that counts. But there are things like sexually transmitted infections, some of which don't even show symptoms at first and could complicate things if not detected on time. I know this doesn't sound very attractive, but believe me, protection isn't just for avoiding future problems; it's also to take care of you now, so you don't have issues later: because sometimes men can transmit diseases we're asymptomatic for, and to be honest, I've never done those kinds of tests. A lot of people don't think about it, but the risks are real. And don't get me wrong, I trust you, but even though you trust me, diseases don't discriminate. And I'd like us both to have that peace of mind. Prevention is never too much."

“You conflict me deeply. On the one hand, I admire how responsible you are; it's very cute. But on the other hand, I just urgently need you to fuck me deep and cum inside me”

Spencer was surprised by my desperate whining and tensed when I placed one of my legs around his waist, trying to persuade him. But I was even more surprised when I felt him pull completely away to stand beside the bed.

"Where are you going?"

"To the pharmacy," he announced, putting a jacket over his bare torso.

"Are you serious?" I laughed widely, sitting on the bed now that my companion had moved away.

"Definitely. I feel like I can't handle it any longer, it’s physically painful, and when you talk to me like that, it just drives me crazy” he groaned, joining in the fun. It was the first time something like this happened, and I honestly thought it was absolutely hilarious “I'll be back in a minute, I swear! Please, don't go...”

"I couldn't," I murmured sweetly. He came closer, and I took the opportunity to kiss him again "Be quick. I'll be waiting anxiously for you."

Something in my tone of voice affected the man, or maybe it was the wink I gave him, but I saw him bolt out the door. I flopped back onto the bed, taking a moment to digest what was happening.

I have to admit that my classmate had always been attractive to me, but I never thought he could feel the same way. Not even in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would be waiting for him in his bed so that, with any luck, he could ravish me without holding back.

As I reached out my arms, I could feel the fabric of the shirt I had previously removed from him, and then I brought it up to my nose, inhaling without thinking. A familiar scent hit me immediately: the mix of sweet cocktails he had drank during the party and a subtle trace of cannabis, as if the night was still impregnated in him. I could distinguish a hint of wood, perhaps from the furniture in the place, combined with a light scent of sweat that was not bothersome, but rather natural. And then, among all that, there was his perfume: a citrus and spicy aroma that evoked something fresh, but also deep, sensual, as if every molecule of his being was waiting for something more. I breathed harder, feeling that this aroma, this moment, defined him.

I didn't know why that particular night my whole body was screaming for his closeness. I was crazy about him and it wasn't the alcohol's fault, because I'd had too many drinks to know. Neither of us had ever done drugs and for a moment I was terrified by the idea that I could want to be with someone like that, with such fervor that it was worrying.

Still dizzy from the excitement of the moment, I lowered one of my hands to my crotch to get rid of my panties. I thought about him, wondering how skilled he was. Not that I doubted his abilities, but just like I’d told him that night, he might need some practice.

I started to fantasize about helping him through this situation, maybe guiding him or pampering him by just asking him to lay back so I could do all the work. Spencer was the kind of man who invited you to please him, the kind of man you wanted to satisfy because he never pressured you into it.

Playing with myself, I sniffed his shirt again, desperately wishing I could have the source of said scent with me, until my brain was filled only with daydreams in which he was the protagonist and my fingers were replaced by his. That's why I didn't notice when he opened the apartment. And that's why I didn't know he was watching me from the door frame until I heard him let out a ragged sigh.

Being caught in that position made me feel embarrassed at first, but the way he practically lunged at me and kissed me more decisively than before, I figured he liked seeing me like that.

"Busy?"

I was caught off guard by his sassiness and I knew he was proud of it by the smile I felt on my neck.

“I guess you found what we need, right?”

“Uh-huh”

“Have you read any books on female anatomy?”

“Quite a few”

“So I guess you know a lot about sexuality, don’t you?”

“In theory, yes. Unfortunately, I haven’t had many opportunities to put it into practice.”

A smile spread across my face, which luckily he couldn't see because he was too busy leaving a trail of kisses along the top of my torso.

“How unfortunate, considering you’re a scientist. I wouldn’t mind becoming an object of your study, though, you know?”

He subtly slid the straps of my dress and revealed my bra, from which a considerable part of my boobs protruded, which he happily kissed.

At the same time his hand came down to caress me, making me shiver with anticipation, resting on just the right spots. It was the least I could expect from such an intellectual man, one who definitely knew about the thousands of nerve endings concentrated in my clitoris, which he was definitely tapping into to satisfy me.

“May I?” he whispered, looking at the little underwear he still had on.

I nodded immediately and arched my back to make it easier for him to unbutton it, which didn't take too long. He was practically worshipping every inch of my skin, which, combined with his gentle yet firm fingers rubbing me, was driving me crazy.

We both moaned in unison as he pushed a finger into me. It felt just as good as I had imagined.

I had read somewhere that, physiologically, women need more time to achieve an orgasm and although none of my exes had cared about that, this one seemed to know that fact. Maybe that was why he was giving me such attention, which I was undoubtedly grateful for.

“Honey…” I choked out “you’re doing great, really, really good, but would you mind if we replaced those fingers? I want to feel you inside me,” I practically begged.

I never begged, I felt like a fool doing it, but if that got me the intensity of the kiss he gave me, I wouldn't mind starting to do it.

Spencer pulled away from me, searching for the packet of condoms he'd run off to get, and while he unbuttoned his pants I got rid of my dress, which by this point was just a mass of fabric around my waist.

My body wasn't perfect, but I figured that wouldn't matter to him. Besides, I doubt he'd be rude enough to mention it.

“Need a hand?” I joked playfully, noticing that he was struggling to open the silver package.

“I’m sorry, I’m just a little nervous,” he said to himself, hoping I wouldn’t mind too much.

I wanted to reward him for treating me so well a few moments ago and I took the package from his hands, placing my palm on his chest until I laid him down against the mattress. Once in that position it wasn't difficult to get rid of the wrapping to place the piece of latex on him, thinking that I didn't have a single complaint about his body.

My hands on him made him nervous and I watched him turn into a mess as I began pumping his cock up and down to make sure he had the condom on properly.

“You don’t have to hold back. I like the sounds you make,” I exclaimed in a velvety tone, trying to sound as genuine as possible “That way I know you’re enjoying it.”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to hold out for much longer,” he confessed, as my hand continued to move along his length. Although I wished I could take better care of him, I understood the situation.

“Your wish is my command”

He didn't complain when I put each leg on his sides and he bravely hardened as I teased him for a moment before sinking my pussy onto his dick. I started slow, trying to make him last as long as possible, but with each second it was getting harder to keep up a pace.

I tried my best to ride him, trying to give him the best experience as a thank you for all his hospitality. And from the whimpers coming out of his throat I assume I was doing my job well.

At some point his hands ended up on my hips, guiding me as he pleased. Sometimes he pushed me down, as if he wanted to get to the bottom of me, and other times he manipulated me so that the thrusts were fast.

He wasn't lying when he said he would cum in no time, as the repressed desire added to the previous sexual actions had him on the edge of the abyss. I knew he had reached orgasm when he closed his eyes and his hips slammed against me, in erratic movements.

I kept riding him a little longer, chasing my own climax, and when I got it I put my hands against his chest, arching in pleasure. Spencer, breathing heavily, grabbed my wrists in his hands and then pulled me so that I was against his torso, my lips too close to his.

He placed his palm on my cheek and pulled me in his direction, seemingly asking for a kiss. I granted it.

“Are you satisfied?”

“I am,” I sighed wryly. It was cute that he didn’t know that sometimes girls don’t even make it. “How was it for you?”

“I'm speechless.”

I laughed and, to a certain extent, felt flattered that I had left a man who knew a million ways to express himself in that state.

We enjoyed the high we had just had for a few minutes and waited for our breathing to slow down; when our sighs took the same rhythm, he spoke again.

“You should go to the bathroom. It’s, uh… healthy for you to do it after every encounter.”

I reached for the garment he had been wearing and, trying to protect myself from the cold air, I put it on over myself.

“Do you mind lending it to me?”

“Nu-huh,” he hummed, eyeing me as if I were a cupcake. I would later learn how affected he was to see me using his clothes to slide out of bed.

When I came out of the bathroom he already had his boxers on, probably wanting to maintain modesty, and when he went to attend to his needs I also looked for my panties. It wasn't long before he returned to keep me company.

“Do you want to cuddle? I’d feel like a whore if I just left”

“Yes, of course I want”

He made sure to throw anything that was on the bed onto the floor and patted the pillows to make them more comfortable. I settled into the space next to him, leaning against his chest, right at heart level.

One of his arms was holding me from behind and in some strange way that made me feel safe; protected.

“Your feet are frozen, are you cold?”

"Not much"

“Do you want me to get you some socks?”

“I’m fine, Spencer,” I laughed softly. I brushed my cheek against his skin and tried to snuggle closer to him. “It’ll just get colder if you leave.”

“Did you know that the human body is incredibly efficient at maintaining its temperature? When two bodies are nearby, like… now,” he paused, settling a little closer to me, “heat transfer occurs due to thermal radiation and direct conduction. Essentially, each body generates heat that helps the other maintain a stable core temperature.”

“So you’re like a human blanket”

“That’s right. In fact, in situations of severe hypothermia, sharing body heat in this way can literally save lives.”

I raised my head to look at him and noticed an excited gleam in his eyes, the one he always had when he shared something from his vast knowledge.

“I’ve been thinking quite a bit about what you said earlier, about female anatomy,” seeing him frown, I continued, “No field of study considers one experimentation enough, right? Everything needs to be replicated two, three, four times. Ten times if necessary.”

“Your guess is quite accurate.”

“Say no more. We must give everything if it is in the name of science”

From the smile on his face, I knew that my joke had pleased him and that my proposal seemed to please him. To seal the deal I reached up and kissed him softly. We remained silent for a while, him caressing me over his own shirt and me enjoying the closeness.

“I like you a lot”

“I had a feeling,” I teased, earning a soft laugh from him “I really like you, too."

He pressed a kiss to my forehead and for some stupid reason a blush crept up my cheeks, even though we had just had sex. I carefully placed myself on top of his body and buried my face in his neck, feeling him hug me around the waist.

It didn't take long for him to fall asleep, I could tell by how calm his breathing was becoming, and I tried to enjoy the peace he emanated a little longer, until, eventually, Morpheus picked me up in his arms too.

@spoolsofgreenspoolsofblack @shuichiakainx @gghostwriter @cafters @weallhaveadestiny @your-left-sock @jaeminsmilk @tmrs-basilisk @kristennotstewart @lostinwonderland314 @f4tpo3s @lortheswiftie @dark-unicorn222 @samsienichole @blackholegladiator @gretaandthatsit @cherrysprlte @halfbloodwriter @piercethefic @reidingandallthat @ariel-23-19 @zorrasucia @ihatethecrowdsyouknowthat @juluina @kylakins88 @tinainaction @sadroses98

Thank you very much for your interest! I hope you liked it, if you feel like it, let me know what you think :)

[mattsobvimyfav]

neighbors (Matthew sturniolo)

pt 7

The morning sun streamed through the curtains as I stirred awake, the warmth of another body beside me pulling me out of my haze. My heart stopped when I realized it was Matt, his arm draped protectively around my waist, his face peaceful in sleep.

Panic coursed through me. What the fuck?

Slowly, carefully, I untangled myself from his hold, making sure not to wake him. His arm tightened for a brief moment before falling slack, and I slipped out of the bed, holding my breath.

Once I was free, I grabbed a hoodie from the back of a chair and pulled it on as I tiptoed toward the door. I paused for a moment, glancing back at him. He looked so… calm. Almost vulnerable. Shaking the thought away, I turned and hurried out of the room.

The second the door clicked shut, I bolted down the hallway, making a beeline for Charlie’s room. I didn’t even knock. I burst through the door, ready to vent—but what I saw stopped me in my tracks.

Charlie and Chris were curled up together, both stark naked under the covers. My jaw dropped, and without thinking, I stormed over and yanked the blanket off them.

“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?” I yelled, my voice echoing off the walls.

Chris shot up, his eyes wide as he scrambled to grab a pillow to cover himself. 

Charlie groaned dramatically, burying her face deeper into the mattress. “Too early for this,” she muttered, her voice muffled.

“Y/N!” Chris groaned, glaring at me. “Again? Really?”

“Someone tell me why the fuck I woke up laid up with Matt!” I demanded, crossing my arms and pacing in front of their bed.

Charlie peeked out from under her arm, her voice groggy. “You’re too loud.”

“What?” I snapped, my patience wearing thin.

She groaned again, flipping onto her side and propping herself up on her elbow. “Matt carried you to bed, duh.”

“Why?!” I demanded, throwing my hands up. “What even happened?”

Chris sighed heavily, flopping back down onto the bed and staring at the ceiling like he was summoning patience from another dimension. “You barged in here, again, while we were—”

“—mid-stroke,” Charlie added unhelpfully, grinning wickedly as she watched my face contort in laughter.

“CHARLIE!” Chris barked, shooting her a glare.

She just shrugged. “What? It’s true.”

“Oh my god I am so sorry, tell me the details later though. Okay, but what happened after I apparently ruined your nut bust?”

Charlie snorted. “Well, you cried about how Matt wouldn’t touch you, talked about how much you miss him whimpering under you, then flopped on our bed and passed out halfway through telling me about the TSA taking your rose toy.”

My face flushed instantly. “I… what?”

Chris sat up, propping himself on his elbows. “And since you were busy traumatizing us, I went out and told Matt to come deal with you because you clearly weren’t leaving until someone did.”

“Wait,” I said, blinking at him. “So Matt came back in here? Why?”

“To pick your drunk ass up and take you to bed,” Chris said flatly. “Which, by the way, you owe me for. I could have ignored you and stayed in bed, but nooo, I had to play hero.”

Charlie smirked, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Don’t let him fool you. He’s just mad you walked in before he could make me finish.”

“CHARLIE!” Chris groaned, turning bright red.

I groaned too, my hands covering my face. “I don’t remember any of that, I remember telling him at the bar we could fuck on this trip.”

Charlie sat up fully now, her grin growing. “Oh, honey, that’s not even the best part. Apparently, you begged Matt to touch you all the way to your room.”

I froze, my stomach twisting. “No.”

“Oh, yeah,” Chris chimed in, his smirk matching Charlie’s. “You kept telling him how badly you wanted him and how the whole trip you’d been thinking about sleeping with him.”

“Stop,” I whispered, my face burning. “We’ve been here one day.”

“And you even said something about how he could replace your rose toy,” Charlie added, laughing now.

“STOP!” I wailed, burying my face in a pillow.

They both laughed for a moment longer before Charlie scooted closer, rubbing my back. “Relax, babe. Matt didn’t do anything. He just spooned you until you passed out. Honestly, kinda cute. He’s a gentleman.”

“Yeah,” Chris said, his tone suddenly serious. “He told me he wasn’t gonna take advantage of you. Said he’d wait until you were sober and clear-headed.”

I peeked out from behind the pillow, my heart doing a weird flip-flop in my chest. “He said that?”

Chris nodded. “Yeah. He’s mad at you for trying to use him, though but hes not an awful person. Said you’ve gotta figure your shit out before he’ll touch you again.”

I groaned, falling back onto the bed. “Why am I like this?”

Charlie laughed, flopping beside me. “Because you’re messy and chaotic, and we love you for it. But seriously, next time, just get a replacement rose toy before you start drinking.”

Chris stood up, ruffling his hair. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go fix my morning wood, since someone ruined last night.”

“Okay at least make her cum this time” I groaned as I walked out. 

After walking out of Charlie’s room, I found myself wandering back to my own. My heart raced as I cracked the door open, peeking inside. Matt was still in bed, sprawled out on his back, one arm draped over his stomach, the other resting beside him.

Without even thinking, I stepped in and quietly shut the door behind me. My pulse quickened as I approached the bed, climbing up and straddling his waist. Slowly, I leaned down and started pressing soft kisses along his neck, trailing my lips to the spot just beneath his jaw that I knew would stir him.

Matt stirred beneath me, a low groan escaping his lips as his eyes fluttered open. His hands instinctively came to rest on my hips, his voice husky and groggy.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” he murmured, still half-asleep.

I leaned up, my eyes locking with his, my heart pounding but my voice steady. “I meant what I said last night at the bar.”

His eyes widened slightly as my words sunk in. “You’re serious?” he asked, his voice a mix of disbelief and something else I couldn’t quite place.

“I am,” I replied firmly. “Just this trip, Matt. No strings, no expectations. When we get back home, it’s over. But here, I want this.”

He let out a shaky breath, his hands tightening slightly on my hips. “Y/N… you don’t know what you’re saying… don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“I know exactly what I’m saying,” I whispered, leaning down again, brushing my lips against his ear. “Do you care about my boyfriend? We are on a break anyways”

Matt’s eyes darkened at my words, his jaw tightening. For a moment, I thought he might push me off, but instead, he let out a quiet, bitter laugh.

“No,” he murmured, his voice low and raspy. “I don’t care about your boyfriend. You know where home is.”

Before I could respond, Matt’s hands slid up to cradle my face, and he smashed his lips onto mine. The kiss was intense and unrelenting, sending a jolt of electricity through me. My fingers threaded into his hair as I pressed myself closer, matching his urgency.

His hands roamed down to my waist, tugging me against him as his tongue slipped past my lips. My heart was pounding so loudly I thought it might burst out of my chest. One of his hands crept beneath the hem of my shirt, as I grinded into him.

Just as he started to lift it higher, the door suddenly flew open.

“Well, well,” Chris’s voice broke through the haze, his tone dripping with amusement. “How does it feel to get interrupted, Matt?”

I tore myself away from Matt, both of us breathing heavily, my cheeks flaming as I whipped my head toward the doorway. Chris and Charlie stood there, arms crossed and grinning like they’d just won the lottery.

“Seriously?” I snapped, trying to compose myself as I tugged my shirt back down.

Charlie raised an eyebrow, her smirk growing. “Oh, don’t stop on our account. It’s just… payback feels so good.”

Matt groaned, dragging a hand down his face before shooting his brother a glare. “Get out,” he growled.

Chris let out a laugh, slapping the doorframe. “Alright, alright. We’re leaving. But man, this is gold. I’m telling Nick.”

“Don’t you dare!” Matt yelled after them, but they were already cackling as they disappeared down the hallway.

I flopped onto my back, staring at the ceiling and covering my face with my hands. “Kill me now,” I muttered.

Matt chuckled softly, leaning over me. “Well, that was...”

I peeked through my fingers, catching the amused glint in his eyes. Despite my embarrassment, I couldn’t help but laugh. “Next time, we'll lock the door.”

“Next time?” he teased, raising an eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes, shoving him playfully. “Don’t push it, Matthew .”

Charlie and I were standing side by side in the bathroom, both of us running through our morning routines. She was blending her concealer while I curled the ends of my hair, the two of us talking about what we wanted to do for the day.

“Beach first, then maybe lunch at that little spot by the water,” Charlie suggested, adjusting her hair in the mirror.

“Sounds perfect,” I replied, reaching for my mascara.

The bathroom door opened suddenly, and Matt leaned against the frame, his hands shoved in his pockets. “Hey, Charlie,” he said casually, his eyes flickering toward me. “Can I borrow Y/N for a second?”

Charlie frowned, her gaze darting between us. “Um… sure, I guess.” She gave me a pointed look before shrugging and slipping out of the room.

I turned to Matt, raising an eyebrow. “What’s up—”

Before I could finish, he stepped closer, his hand wrapping around the back of my neck as he tilted my head up toward him. Without a word, he pressed his lips to mine in a kiss that left me breathless. It wasn’t rushed or desperate like the night before, but slow and deliberate, making my heart pound all the same.

When he pulled back, I blinked up at him, trying to process what just happened. “What was that for?” I asked.

Matt smirked, his thumb brushing against my jawline. “Just getting it all in before the trip’s over.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but he stepped back, shoving his hands in his pockets again like nothing had happened. “See you out there,” he said over his shoulder before leaving the room.

I stood there, frozen, my lips still tingling from the kiss. A second later, Charlie peeked her head back in. “What the fuck was that about?”

I shook my head, snapping out of it and reaching for my brush like nothing had happened. “Nothing,” I said quickly. “Just Matt being Matt.”

Charlie squinted at me suspiciously but didn’t press it. “If you say so.”

I turned back to the mirror, trying to focus on finishing my hair, but my thoughts were consumed by Matt’s words—and the kiss that still lingered on my lips.

Once Charlie and I finished getting ready, we headed out to the living room, both of us feeling the anticipation of another perfect day in paradise. As soon as we walked in, Chris pulled Charlie toward the fireplace, grinning at something he whispered in her ear. She laughed, swatting his chest playfully before letting him guide her toward the fireplace area.

Meanwhile, I felt Matt’s hands find my hips, pulling me onto his lap on the couch. “Come here,” he murmured, his voice low as his lips found mine.

I didn’t resist. His hands gripped my waist as he deepened the kiss, his touch igniting a familiar heat. I was so caught up in the moment that I barely noticed the faint sound of a TikTok audio playing in the background. I figured it was Charlie and Chris scrolling through their saved sounds, as usual, and didn’t think much of it.

By the time we made it to the beach, the sun was high in the sky, and the sand was warm beneath our feet. We set up blankets and towels and Matt and I sat side by side, sharing a quiet moment as we looked out at the water.

It was peaceful—until all our phones started buzzing at once. I furrowed my brow, pulling mine out to see dozens of notifications lighting up the screen. Confused, I unlocked it and immediately saw the chaos.

“Are you seeing this?” Nick asked, holding up his phone.

Charlie and Chris had posted a TikTok an hour ago—a seemingly innocent montage of clips from our morning. But at the end of the video, there was a brief shot of Matt and me kissing on the couch in the background. It was subtle, but not subtle enough for fans to miss.

The comments were already flooded:

“WAIT WHAT???? Y/N AND MATT??????”

“Girl just had a boyfriend two weeks ago… yikes.”

“She’s the problem, clearly. Poor Matt.”

“Slut. Do better, Y/N.”

“Okay but why do I secretly ship it again?”

“Matt deserves better, tbh.”

My stomach churned as I scrolled through the reactions. Most were negative, accusing me of being unfaithful or jumping back to Matt too quickly. I felt my face flush, the weight of the judgment pressing down on me.

Charlie looked up from her phone, her face pale. “Oh my God, Y/N, I’m so sorry. We didn’t even realize—”

“It’s fine,” I muttered, though my voice was tight. “It’s not your fault.”

But their words echoed in my mind, making it hard to focus on anything else. The peaceful beach day I’d been looking forward to now felt tainted by the storm of online opinions.

The buzzing of my phone pulled me out of my spiraling thoughts. I glanced down to see Leo’s name flashing on the screen, accompanied by a flood of text notifications.

“You should probably answer that,” Charlie said cautiously, watching me closely.

With a sigh, I hit the answer button and put it on speaker, figuring Charlie might as well hear this too. “Hello?”

The screaming started immediately.

“Are you serious right now, Y/N?!” Leonard’s voice boomed through the speaker. “You’re a fucking whore! What the hell is wrong with you?! Making out with your ex—and on TikTok no less? You’re embarrassing me, you know that?”

I froze, the words hitting me like a slap in the face.

Charlie’s jaw dropped as she sat up straighter, glaring at the phone. “What the fuck, Leo?” she muttered under her breath.

Before I could gather a response, Matt snatched the phone out of my hand. His jaw was clenched, his eyes burning with fury.

“Listen up, you piece of shit,” Matt growled into the phone, his voice low and venomous. “Don’t you ever talk to Y/N like that again. Who the hell do you think you are? You think you can call her names because you’re upset? Grow up and use your words like a big boy.”

“Stay out of this, Matt,” Leonard spat. “You’ve been nothing but a thorn in my side since I met her. You ruined everything!”

“Oh, cry me a fucking river,” Matt shot back, his voice dripping with mockery. “Newsflash: if you were half the boyfriend you thought you were, she wouldn’t even be here with me. So, take your tantrum and shove it up your ass.”

Leonard stammered, clearly at a loss for words. “You—she—”

“She doesn’t owe you anything,” Matt cut him off sharply. “You don’t own her, and you sure as hell don’t get to scream at her like some entitled little brat. Grow the fuck up.”

Leonard’s voice was shaking now, either from rage or humiliation. “This isn’t over,” he hissed before hanging up abruptly.

Matt tossed the phone onto the blanket with a huff, his chest rising and falling as he tried to calm down.

I stared at him, equal parts stunned and grateful. “You didn’t have to do that,” I said softly.

“Yeah, I did,” he replied, his tone softer now. “No one talks to you like that, Y/N. No one.”

Charlie nodded firmly. “He’s right. Even though you were on a break he had no right to speak to you like that. Fuck him.”

I let out a shaky breath, leaning back against the blanket. As much as Leo’s words had stung, Matt’s defense of me left an unexpected warmth in their place.

The sun was setting as we headed back to the house, the warmth of the day replaced by a cooler breeze. After hours on the beach, everyone was tired, but the plan was to regroup, clean up, and head out for dinner.

As soon as we got inside, Charlie grabbed my hand, pulling me toward my room. “We need to talk to him now,” she whispered.

I hesitated but nodded, grabbing my phone and dialing Leonard’s number. Charlie sat beside me on the bed, her hand on my knee for support as the line rang.

He picked up after a few seconds. “What do you want?” His tone was icy, his earlier rage still lingering.

“You wanted a break,” I said, my voice shaking slightly. “You told me to take time to figure things out, so how is this fair? How is any of this fair, Leonard?”

There was silence for a beat, and then he scoffed. “You figured things out by making out with your ex? That’s real classy, Y/N.”

Charlie rolled her eyes, muttering, “Oh my god.”

“That’s not the point,” I said, my voice firmer now. “You can’t just… blow up on me when you’re the one who told me you needed space. I’m trying to respect what you asked for.”

“I’m coming to LA as soon as you get back,” he said abruptly, his tone sharp. “We’re going to talk about this in person. You owe me that much.”

I froze, panic creeping in as his words sank in. “Leonard—”

But he’d already hung up.

I stared at the phone in my hand, my chest tightening with fear and nerves. “What the hell?” I whispered, my voice barely audible.

Charlie frowned, pulling me into a hug. “That wasn’t okay,” she said softly. “You don’t owe him anything, Y/N.”

“I don’t want to deal with this,” I mumbled, my voice cracking as tears welled up in my eyes. “I don’t even know how to handle this. What if he actually comes? What if—”

The sound of the door creaking open made us both look up. Matt stood in the doorway, his brows furrowed in concern. “What happened?” he asked, his eyes flicking between the two of us.

“She called Leonard,” Charlie said quietly, rubbing my back as I tried to hold back my tears. “He’s being an ass. He said he’s coming to LA when we get back, and now she’s freaking out.”

Matt’s jaw clenched, his hands curling into fists at his sides. “He’s what?”

“He said he’s coming to LA,” Charlie repeated, glaring at the floor. “It’s just… too much.”

Matt crossed the room, sitting on the edge of the bed. He gently reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Hey,” he said softly. “You’re not dealing with this alone, okay? If he shows up, I’ll handle it. You’re safe here. With us.”

I nodded, biting my lip as I wiped at my face. His words were comforting, but the knot in my stomach refused to untangle.

Once we finished getting ready for dinner, Charlie flopped onto my bed, smirking at her phone. “Okay, I have an idea,” she said, holding it up.

I raised an eyebrow. “What now?”

“You and Matt should make a TikTok,” she said casually, scrolling through sounds. “Just… clear some stuff up without actually explaining anything.”

Matt leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms. “What kind of TikTok?”

Charlie grinned, clicking on a sound. “This one.”

She played the audio: ‘Oops, got your girl, should’ve treated her right. Now she’s with real, she love it over here. Yeah, I love it over here!’

Matt snorted, looking at me. “You’re down for this?”

I hesitated but ultimately shrugged. “Why not? If it gets people off my back, sure.”

We set up my phone on the dresser and rehearsed it once before recording. Matt took the first line, pointing at the camera with his usual smirk: ‘Oops, got your girl, should’ve treated her right. Now she with a real, she love it over here.’

Then Matt turned around with me over his shoulder and I leaned closer and finished: ‘Yeah, I love it over here.’

We watched the playback a few times, laughing at how ridiculous it felt but my ass looked good. “Okay, it’s perfect,” Charlie declared, taking the phone. Matt grabbed it back before she could post anything.

“I got this,” he said, typing in a caption. A second later, he showed it to me: ‘She’s been single. And she knows where home is.’

My jaw dropped, and I lightly shoved his shoulder. “Really?”

He grinned. “What? It’s true.”

With a tap, he posted it, and within seconds, the notifications started rolling in.

Charlie and I sat on the couch, scrolling through the comments.

“Wait, they’re back together?!”

“Home? GIRL, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!”

“The way this is so messy, I love it.”

“Poor Leo, but Matt’s always been endgame.”

“Y/N a whole clown for going back to him 🙄.”

“She needs to stay away from him.”

“He don’t even want her he prolly just feel bad.” 

Some comments were sweet, but others were downright brutal. Charlie nudged me with her elbow, giving me a reassuring smile. “Don’t let the haters get to you.”

I shrugged, leaning back into the couch. “Im the one fucking him, theyre just mad.”

Matt walked into the room, leaning over the back of the couch to peek at the screen. “Oh, yeah?” he said casually. “Wanna prove that to me later tonight?”

Charlie laughed and stood. “Alright before yall rip each other's clothes off, go put on something that’s not a T-shirt, and maybe we’ll believe you’re classy enough for dinner.”

Everyone was dressed and ready for dinner, piling out of the Airbnb earlier than planned so we could explore the area before eating. Nick had his vlogging camera out, already recording as we strolled down a cobblestone path lined with shops and palm trees.

Matt walked up to Nick showing the camera, a glass soda bottle. Without missing a beat, he tilted his head, clamped the bottle cap between his teeth, and popped it off effortlessly.

Chris froze mid-step, pointing at him dramatically. “Woah, he can do it with his mouth?!”

The group burst into laughter, and before I could stop myself, I smirked at the camera Nick was holding. “Trust me, he can do a lot with his mouth,” I quipped, throwing in a wink for good measure.

Nick immediately turned the camera to capture everyone’s reactions. Chris keeled over, laughing, while Charlie joined him.

“Y/N!” she laughed.

Matt, however, seemed unbothered. Instead, he just raised an eyebrow, smirking as he took a long sip from the bottle. “She's not wrong, She knows all about it” he smirked, making Chris and Nick howl louder.

Nick turned the camera back to me. “This vlog just got demonetized, thanks to Y/N!”

I shrugged, grinning. “What can I say? I like to brag”

As we strolled toward the restaurant, the golden glow of the setting sun bathed the streets. Chris had his arm slung over Charlie’s shoulders, their fingers intertwined as they walked hand in hand. Naturally, Matt grabbed my hand too, lacing our fingers together with a smirk that said he was trying to get a reaction out of me.

Nick had his camera out, panning from Charlie and Chris to us. “The happy couple…” he narrated dramatically, pausing before turning the lens toward me and Matt. “…And then there’s Matt and Y/N.”

The group erupted into laughter.

“Oh, fuck you, Nick,” I said, grinning as I playfully shoved his shoulder with my free hand.

Nick laughed harder. “What? I’m just saying what the people are thinking!”

Charlie wiped tears of laughter from her eyes. “He’s not wrong.”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t hide the smile tugging at my lips. Matt, however, played along, pulling me closer and wrapping his free arm around my waist.

“Jealous, Nick?” Matt quipped, raising an eyebrow at the camera.

Nick gasped in mock offense. “Yeah, Y/n is sexy.”

“Fair,” I chimed in, earning another round of laughter.

The restaurant was tucked into a corner of the waterfront, its warm glow inviting as the waves lapped against the nearby docks. The host led us to a private outdoor patio strung with fairy lights, giving the space a magical ambiance. We slid into a large round table, Matt sitting beside me and Chris on Charlie’s other side, with Nick opposite us.

The night started lighthearted.

Nick had his camera set up discreetly on the table, catching candid moments of us all. “Okay, before we even order—best and worst moment of this trip so far. Go.”

Charlie grinned, leaning back in her chair. “Best moment? Definitely the beach yesterday. Worst moment? Trying to wrangle all your suitcases into the car at the airport.”

“You’re welcome,” Matt cut in, sipping his drink with a smirk.

Nick rolled his eyes. “What about you, Y/N?”

“Best moment?” I tilted my head, pretending to think. “Probably cock blocking Chris by accident… Twice.”

“Yeah fuck you big time for that.” Chris laughs. And Charlie nudges him.

When the server arrived, we placed our orders. Charlie and Chris shared appetizers, their playful banter a steady hum throughout the table. Nick teased Matt mercilessly, accusing him of only ordering steak to seem manly.

“Please, hell probably cut it with his teeth like the bottle earlier,” I joked, earning another round of laughter.

As the night went on, the jokes gave way to deeper conversations.

Chris shared a story about a prank he’d pulled on Charlie during one of their earlier dates in college, leaving her laughing so hard she nearly peed her pants. Nick talked about his upcoming projects and teased us about featuring heavily in his vlogs.

And then Matt turned to me, his voice softer as he leaned closer. “What about you? What’s been on your mind?”

Caught off guard, I hesitated before answering. “You.”

Matt nodded, his gaze lingering on me. “Can confidently say you’ve been on mine the past four years.”

As his words hung in the air, something inside me snapped. Four years. Four fucking years. My chest tightened, and I felt my heart pounding in a rhythm that matched the anger bubbling beneath the surface. He said it so easily, like it wasn’t a big deal. Like it didn’t matter that he’d been living rent-free in my head for just as long—except, for me, it wasn’t some sweet little daydream. It was a goddamn battlefield.

How dare he? How fucking dare Matt think about me like that—like it was some wistful memory or a quiet longing—when he was the one who left me to pick up the pieces? When he was the one who wrecked me and walked away like it was nothing? It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair for him to sit here, leaning closer, saying words that had no right to sound so soft, so genuine, when they came from him.

I stared at him, my jaw tightening as I fought to keep my expression steady, even though my mind was spiraling. I wanted to yell at him, to ask if he’d even considered what those four years had been like for me. Did he ever think about the nights I spent trying to forget him, trying to piece myself back together when he was the one who broke me in the first place?

And now he says this—like it’s supposed to mean something. Like it’s supposed to make up for everything.

I felt my nails dig into my palm beneath the table, grounding myself in the pain because it was better than the storm brewing inside me. This wasn’t reality. It couldn’t be. I’d told myself I wasn’t going to let him—or anyone—pull me back into that. Not after everything I’d done to move on, to be okay again.

But fuck, it felt good to hear it. And that’s what scared me the most.

I had to remind myself that this wasn’t real. That whatever moment we were living in now would dissolve the second this trip ended, and I promised myself I’d stick to that, no matter how good it feels now because he doesn’t deserve me that easily. 

I swallowed hard, my anger simmering just beneath the surface. My voice was steady when I finally spoke, but there was no softness left in it. “Must’ve been nice,” I said, meeting his gaze with a sharpness I hoped would cut through him. “Thinking about me for four years. Too bad I didn’t get that time in real life, huh?”

Matt’s jaw tightened, and I could see the flash of surprise and frustration in his eyes as I threw the words at him. He leaned closer, closing the distance between us, his voice low and sharp as he spoke through gritted teeth. “Don’t do this now.”

Before I could respond, his hand gripped my thigh under the table—not hard, but firm enough to send a jolt through me. His touch burned, the contrast between his tense grip and the slow, almost absent-minded way his thumb started rubbing small circles against my leg making my head spin. 

I glared at him, my heart pounding so hard it felt like it might burst out of my chest. “You don’t get to tell me what to do,” I hissed, my voice low enough that no one around us could hear, but filled with the venom I couldn’t keep in anymore.

Matt’s other arm came around me then, pulling me closer, almost as if he were trying to shield me from something—or maybe himself. His grip on my thigh didn’t loosen, but his body pressed against mine, warm and steady even as tension radiated off him. His jaw clenched, and I could see the way his chest rose and fell, like he was trying to steady his breathing.

Matt’s grip on my thigh stayed firm, his thumb brushing slow, deliberate circles against my skin. His voice dropped lower, almost a whisper, as he leaned in even closer. “Stop,” he said again, through gritted teeth. “Just… cut it out. Please.”

The word "please" hit me harder than anything else he’d said. It wasn’t just the frustration in his voice—it was the way it cracked slightly, like he was holding something back. It was enough to snuff out the fire in my chest, leaving behind a heavy ache that I couldn’t push away.

I didn’t fight him this time. I couldn’t. My shoulders sagged slightly, and I let my gaze fall to the table, avoiding his eyes. The weight of his hand on my thigh, the slow, steady rhythm of his thumb, and the warmth of his arm around me all worked together to chip away at my anger.

It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. But in that moment, I didn’t have the energy to argue anymore. So I stayed still, letting the tension hang between us like a fragile thread, waiting for it to snap.

By the time dessert came, the energy shifted back to playful despite me and matts moment of tension.

Nick ordered the largest slice of cake on the menu, claiming it was “for the table” but proceeding to eat most of it himself. Matt stole a bite, earning a loud protest from Nick, and Charlie and Chris were too wrapped up in their own world to notice.

As we left the restaurant, the night air was cool and refreshing. Charlie hooked her arm through mine as we walked back to the airbnb. 

“This trip’s been pretty great so far,” she said quietly, glancing at me with a smile.

I nodded, my thoughts briefly flickering to Matt walking a few steps ahead, laughing at something Chris said. “Yeah,” I agreed. “It really has.”

When we walked up to the house, everyone dispersed quickly. Charlie and Chris headed for the kitchen, Nick grabbed his camera, and Matt… Matt grabbed my wrist as I tried to follow Charlie.

“Y/N,” he said softly, his voice hoarse. “Can we talk? Upstairs?”

I hesitated, the lump in my throat making it hard to answer, but I nodded.

Matt led the way, his steps heavy as he climbed the stairs. He didn’t say a word as he opened the door to his room, holding it for me before shutting it behind us. The click of the lock sent a shiver down my spine.

I stood awkwardly by the bed as he ran a hand through his hair, pacing a little before sitting heavily on the edge.

“Why do you keep doing this?” he finally asked, his voice cracking on the last word. He looked up at me, his eyes red-rimmed, and the sight made my stomach churn.

“Doing what?” I asked softly, though I already knew.

“This… this thing where you pull me in and then push me away,” he said, his hands gesturing helplessly. “Where you make me feel like maybe, just maybe, I didn’t fuck everything up, and then remind me that I did.”

I swallowed hard, my fingers fidgeting at my sides. “I’m not trying to—”

“Yes, you are!” he interrupted, his voice louder now. “You think I don’t notice? You think I don’t see the way you look at me, the way you let me touch you, like I still mean something to you? And then you say things like… like what you said at the bar. Like it’s just some vacation fling, like none of this matters.”

“Because it can’t matter, Matt!” I snapped, my voice breaking under the weight of my emotions. “It can’t. Not after what you did.”

His face crumpled, and he pressed his palms to his eyes, his shoulders shaking. “I know I hurt you. I know I left. And I’ve spent every single day since then wishing I could take it back. But I can’t, Y/N. I can’t change what I did. All I can do is try to make it right, but you won’t let me.”

Tears blurred my vision as I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to hold myself together. “You don’t get to just come back and act like everything’s fine. You left me, Matt. You broke me. And now you want me to forget all of that because you’re sorry? That’s not how it works.”

He stood abruptly, his chest heaving as he closed the space between us. “I’m not asking you to forget. I’m asking you to let me prove to you that I’m not the same guy who walked away. I’m asking you to give me a chance to fix this.”

I shook my head, a sob escaping my lips. “I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust you again.”

Matt’s face crumpled, and for the first time, I saw tears streaking down his cheeks. He reached out, hesitating before his hands landed gently on my shoulders. “Please,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “Please, Y/N. I don’t care if it takes years. I’ll wait. I’ll wait for as long as it takes because you’re it for me. You’ve always been it.”

His words broke something inside me, and before I could stop myself, I was crying harder, my hands clutching at his shirt as he pulled me into his arms. His sobs mixed with mine, and we stood there, holding onto each other like we were the only thing keeping the other from falling apart.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you, The funny thing is I would have married you if you had stuck around.” I whispered into his chest.

“I’ll never stop trying.” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

tag-

@tbfaptbfae @ch0llies @2muchofaslvt @rockstarchr1s @simply-a-simper @mattscore @watercolorskyy @urfungi @sturnsvelocity @mattsturnii @christmastreecake @izzylovesmatt @larnieboox88 @christophersstar @realuvrrr @namelesssav @matts-girlfriend

[manonsmartini]

Maniac: We Had Magic But You Made It Tragic

Daniela Avanzini x fem!reader

3.3k words | established relationship | story starts with predebut daniela | predebut friends are fictional

angst, fluff, homophobia, closeted, suggestive(ish) joke

In all honesty, it is truly dreadful to walk these halls, and you'd rather be anywhere than here at the moment. Opening the door to your locker though, you couldn't help the smile that crept to your lips at the sight of a little brown teddy bear, already having an idea of how it ended up in your locker.

"Hi cutie, I'll meet you up at your place tonight @ 10," a small handwritten letter said.

You stifle a chuckle, remembering that you once told Daniela that you valued handwritten letters, and although this is not the type of handwritten letter you had in mind, knowing that it came from the blonde made it a hundred times better.

After getting your stuff from the locker, you headed to your next class.

As you sat in your chair, you couldn't help but let your mind wander to the girl that has been taking over your thoughts for the past three months. You didn't even know why someone like Daniela would give you the time of day—heck, she's literally THE Daniela Avanzini. It is especially shocking because prior to her taking an interest in you, you would have sworn that she is exclusively a boy kisser.

It still baffles you every time you think about your first interaction. It was at the parking lot near the campus grounds, it’s already dark and you had been standing there alone, waiting for someone you barely knew.

“Your date stood you up?” You visibly jolted, shocked at the sudden voice behind you. Turning around, you were surprised to see Daniela Avanzini staring right at you, a smirk visible on her lips, her arms crossed over her chest while her hands held her car keys.

“What, you see a loser in the wild and you immediately assume that she got stood up by a date? That’s very judgemental of you,” You replied, light-heartedly.

Although you meant it as a joke, you could see the shift in the girl’s demeanor, scratching her loose blond curls, looking slightly embarrassed, “Oh— I… I didn’t—”

“It’s alright, I was messing with you,” You cut her off. Daniela nodded before regaining her composure, “So what are you doing here all alone?”

Studying her face, it took you a hot minute to answer because first of all, you did not expect her to engage in an actual conversation with you; sure you expected a snarky remark about getting ditched by a date, but you didn’t expect her to actually talk to you. You immediately convinced yourself that she probably still feels guilty about her assumption which you called her out for.

“I mean if you don’t mind me asking,” Daniela added, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound like a creep, especially not in an empty parking lot.”

You realized that while you were overthinking, you were simply staring at the blonde’s face, probably making her feel more tense than she already was, “No, I don’t mind at all, sorry,” You started, “My mind went blank all of a sudden, it’s just that Hailey borrowed my notes yesterday and she asked me to meet her here so that she could return them.”

The blonde clicked her tongue before replying, “Well damn, I guess you’re not getting it tonight though.”

You look at her in question, “Why not?”

“She and her boyfriend had an argument earlier so now she’s at his place because he’s trying to make it up to her,” Daniela says.

“Oh, wow. Thanks for the heads up, god I hope she told me that herself so that I didn’t have to wait here all night thinking she had dance practice or something,” You said, obviously pissed, but your foul mood was not directed towards the blonde in front of you, rather it was for the blonde that ditched you.

“Look, I’m sure Hailey just forgot, she tends to do that when she’s stressed by her boyfriend, and maybe she couldn’t text you because she didn’t have your number,” Daniela tried to reason.

Now you felt bad because although she’s not the person you’re pissed at, she’s definitely in the receiving end of your attitude so you straightened up and said, “Yeah you’re right, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be a bitch towards you, I really do appreciate you telling me all this.”

Daniela flashes you a bright smile, her dimple showing, and you swore your heart bursted at the sight, “No worries at all, god knows what I would’ve said and done if I were in your position,” She wraps her hand around your arm, caressing it, “It’s all good, don’t worry, you weren’t a bitch at all.”

You could feel goosebumps all over the arm that the dancer held, especially with her eyes locked onto yours, it felt like you were suffocating but in the best way possible.

“Well, since we have established that you wouldn’t be seeing Hailey tonight, do you have any other plans?”

“Other than going home?” You asked, shocked that she would even ask such a question.

Daniela flashed you another smile, her dimple once again making an appearance, "I'd seriously kill for an unhealthily greasy burger right now," You could see the girl studying your face before continuing, "I was wondering if you'd like to join me?"

"I–" You honestly fell silent, not knowing how to respond to a really pretty girl asking you to eat with her, "Sure, I'd love to."

The dancer's smile widens, her eyes practically glowing in the dimly lit parking lot, "Great, I know a really good place. My car's just over there," The girl turns around, pointing towards her red car.

You nodded, and followed her when she started making her way towards the vehicle, "Oh shit, I forgot to ask," She turns back to face you, "Do you have a ride? Sorry, I just assumed that you'd ride with me…"

Daniela laughs awkwardly, scratching her head before adding, "God, I should really stop assuming things about you."

You gave the blonde a genuine smile of your own, finding the whole interaction adorable, "It's fine, Daniela, I don't mind, and no, I don't have a ride."

The girl's eyes visibly widened at the mention of her name, "Oh god," she said.

You look at her in curiosity, "Why? Is there something wrong?" You asked as the both of you approached the car.

"I just remembered, I didn't even introduce myself to you," The blonde said, a look of utter disbelief painted on her face. You couldn't help but chuckle at the girl.

"Daniela," you started, emphasizing her name, "I highly doubt that you even have to; you're like one of the most well-known students in our batch," you gave her a kind smile before adding, "If anything, I should be the one worried that I haven't introduced myself."

The dancer shakes her head in disagreement, "No," She starts, "Well, I already know you, I mean, I've seen you perform at some of your gigs," You could feel your cheeks heating up as the girl opens the car door for you, her eyes steady on your frame. You never would have thought that she'd be hanging out at the cafes that you played in, other than the fact that you'd never seen her, it just doesn't seem like her vibe.

"Oh, well, I'd hardly call it a performance," You replied as she finally enters her car, getting ready to drive off, "I just go up the stage with a guitar and sing," You could see the girl about to disagree with you when you added, "You on the other hand, wow, you are a performer."

Despite her focus being trained on the road, you could see the pink tint coloring the girl's cheeks, "That is not true," was all she could say.

"Oh come on, Daniela," You started, "You're a dance prodigy—you know for a fact that I'm right."

That night was the start of something unexpected; a vicious and feisty force that was Daniela just waltz into your life without any warning, and ever since then, the girl kept finding ways to bump into you and spark a conversation with you.

And of course, you did not even try to avoid it; in fact, you loved the attention that Daniela gave you—she's such an addictive person and the more you saw her, the more you wanted to bask in her presence.

It didn't even take the dancer long before she finally asked you out on a real date, which ended successfully, causing the both of you to finally have a mutual understanding of dating each other in private, mostly because she is not ready to come out of the closet.

You were lying on your bed, scrolling through twitter when you received a text from your girlfriend, telling you that she's right outside. You send her a quick response before quietly rushing out of your bedroom to sneak her into your house.

Daniela never fails to look amazing whenever she meets up with you. Sure, the latina always looks absolutely stunning even without much effort, but there's certainly something different every time she goes out to see you, and in a way, it gives you a sense of pride knowing that only you get to see her this way, and that maybe, just maybe, she puts in the effort to look good for you.

"Are you doing anything this Saturday?" The dancer looks at you expectantly as she laid on your lap, both of you resting comfortably on your bed. You had an exam on Monday that you really had to prepare for, but you decided to ask the dancer, "Do you have any plans in mind?"

"Mhm," She nods adorably, sitting up straight facing you, "I was wondering if you'd like to go to the movies with me," Daniela basically pleads with her eyes, "My friends have been raving about this one horror film, and I really really want to watch it. Please?"

Now seriously, how do you say no to that? Exactly, you don't.

After making plans with her, both of you cuddled on your bed with the latina being the small spoon. You spoke into her exposed neck, feeling the goosebumps immediately form around the area, "Dani, baby, it's midnight."

The blonde sighs before turning around to face you. She stares into your eyes before she wraps her arm on your waist holding you closer, and buries her face on your chest.

“I don’t care,” Daniela says, squeezing your body closer which you didn’t even think was possible. As much as you didn’t want her to go, you replied, “Tomorrow’s a school day, Dani, you have to go back home.”

The girl only grumbled in response so you continued, “Besides, my parents would freak out if they see a stranger’s car outside our house.”

Daniela finally separates her face from your chest, looking at you sheepishly, “But I’m not a stranger now, am I? Not with all the things I’m doing to their little princess,” she says, a smirk evident on her lips.

Your cheeks heat up at her words, choosing to ignore her insinuation, you said, “To them, you are a stranger, and I can’t exactly introduce you to them as my friend because that just feels wrong.”

You could see the pout forming on the latina’s lips and you wanted nothing more than to kiss it away. It seems as though Daniela read your thoughts because not even a minute later her hand brushes your cheeks before leaning into you, taking your lips in a slow kiss.

“Alright, I’ll go,” Daniela says, her lips still on yours, “I’ll miss you,” she utters.

You bite her bottom lip, urging her to kiss you once again, “Don’t be silly, we’ll see each other on campus.”

Daniela Avanzini is truly addictive—a girl like her is hard to let go of and you are certain that you are the luckiest person alive knowing that you get to call her your girlfriend, albeit not publicly. The mere knowledge that she likes you is enough.

However, it would be a lie if you said that it didn’t bother you: keeping your relationship secret. You were a private person yourself, but lov—liking Daniela feels like it isn’t enough; you feel the need to tell the world that you are hers.

You couldn’t help but compare yourself to her ex boyfriend, a famous jock in your highschool, and how public their relationship was. It wasn’t that you were jealous. No—but you sure feel envious of what they had.

How freely he could visit Daniela at her home, her family welcoming him with open arms. How he could easily tag along with Daniela’s friends when they hangout. How he was able to tell the whole school how much Daniela meant to him.

You weren’t jealous of him, but you envied what he had with Daniela. Because as much as the latina makes an effort to see you, it feels like the effort to hide you from her life was bigger.

Like how she barely acknowledges you at school, the way she makes an effort to go to campus at a ridiculously early hour just to slip a note in your locker so that no one would see her, how she would visit your home late at night and having to sneak her in. Although it hasn’t been long, she already means the world to you, and whenever your mind touches these thoughts, you can’t avoid the bitter feeling that grows in your chest.

But deep inside, you knew that Daniela was worth the wait. You don't know how much time she needs before she feels comfortable enough to let this secret out, but until then, you would settle for anything that the girl was ready to give.

Saturday rolls around and you could barely contain your excitement. It has been a while since you actually went out with Daniela; she only either sneaked into your room or she’d pick you up to sneak you into hers.

You find yourself overthinking about what to wear to your date with the blonde, not wanting to go overboard but also wanting to look pretty for the girl. You settled with a casual outfit that you were comfortable in, but tried to make an effort in your appearance by putting on some makeup.

Not long after getting ready, you received a text message from your girlfriend. You smiled at her words before typing in your response.

Double checking whether everything is in place, you gathered your stuff and headed out the house. As much as you were pretty introverted, your parents don't exactly question you as much when you leave because for the most part, they assume that you’ll be out singing at cafes.

When you arrived at the gas station, you could already see the striking red car of your girlfriend. Daniela spots you from the driver’s seat and immediately vacates her vehicle to greet you.

The blonde carefully studies your frame from your shoes til her eyes slowly reach yours, taking in your appearance, “You look amazing,” She said, seemingly breathless.

You’re sure that a pink tint has appeared on your cheeks as you feel them heat up at your girlfriend’s compliment mixed with her intense stare, “And you look beautiful, Dani, as always.”

The blonde steps into your personal space and wraps her arms around you, a hand reaching the back of your head, urging you to bury your face onto the crook of her neck.

“I missed you,” Daniela says as she plants a soft kiss on your temple, still holding onto you. You were grateful that she was practically shielding you from the world because it meant that you could hide the stupidly big smile on your lips, feeling both joyful and perplexed at the public display of affection coming from the latina. You truly prayed for times like this.

The mere action made you hopeful; perhaps things are finally about to change.

Little did you know, you were right—things were about to change, but not for the better.

The film that you watched was great. Sure, it was scary and you had a few jumps and shrieks which were embarrassing to say the least, but every time you did so, Daniela held you as close as possible, so you still considered it as a win.

As the movie ended, both of you made your way out of the cinema, “Dani,” you called out to the blonde, “I’ll just go to the bathroom real quick,” you informed her.

She nodded and said, “Alright, I’ll be waiting for you outside.”

As Daniela exited the cinema, she heard a familiar voice calling her, “Dani?” The latina freezed at her spot, trying to calm her nerves before turning around to face the girl who was already smiling widely at her.

“Hey Hailey,” the latina greeted her friend, feeling uncomfortable but trying her hardest not to let it show, “You watched the movie?”

The other blonde shook her head no, “We’re just about to watch it, but I thought I saw you leaving the cinema so I followed you just to be sure.”

“Why didn’t you say that you were going to go to the movies? We could’ve gone together!” Hailey said, then suddenly she squints her eyes at the latina, “Or are you here on a date? Oh my god Daniela, who are you with?”

Daniela tried to act nonchalantly, rolling her eyes at her friend’s excitement with a smirk on her face. She knew that you could come out any minute, and that there’s probably no way out of this situation so she tried her best to save her face.

“Oh god, you won’t even believe me if I told you,” Daniela said, a laugh laced with her tone, “I went with Y/N.”

“What?” Hailey looks surprised, “I didn’t know you two were friends?”

“We’re not,” Daniela laughs lightly, “It’s a bit of a long story so I’ll text you the details later, but yeah…” the girl trailed off, “She seems to admire me so I went with it, and in return I get free booze and food from her,” Daniela laughs.

Her friend widens her eyes before she laughs with her friend, “Oh my god, Daniela! You must be so bored with your life! That’s so funny though,” the girl laughs, “And really smart, damn.”

“Yeah,” The latina agrees, “You know how she sings at some cafes and bars?” Her friend nods, urging her to continue, “Well, let’s just say that I can confirm that the foods and drinks from those places are pretty good.”

Hailey was just about to reply to the other dancer when the pair spotted you exiting the cinema, cutting their conversation to a sudden end. You raised your gaze and your eyes met your girlfriend’s, then her friend’s who was looking at you with amusement in her eyes.

You almost stopped in your tracks knowing that Daniela never told her friends that she even knows you, but seeing the girl’s smile, you felt at ease and decided to approach the pair.

“Hey,” you said, nervously. “Oh my god,” Hailey says, “I have to go, the movie’s about to start.”

She locks eyes with the other blonde before saying, “I’ll catch up with you later, alright? Tell me everything.”

Both you and Daniela watched as the girl entered the cinema, and as she was no longer in sight, the blonde broke the silence, “Hey, you ready to go home?”

You met your girlfriend’s gaze, studying her face, unsure of whether you should ask her about Hailey or not, but decided against it, thinking that if she wants to talk about it, she’ll bring it up.

A small smile appears on your lips before you reply, “Yeah, let’s go.”

part 2 coming soon | main

[stars4noah]

HALLEY'S COMET- four.

{WARNINGS}: arguing, drinking, kissing (i think that's all??)

w.c- 2,760

a.n- this chapter takes a WILD turn towards the end. i'm super excited for how you guys like it!

{TAGLIST}: @lacy1986 @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @chey-h @rumoured-whispers @oobleoob @dontwantthemoney @n0n3xsisting

his lips against mine felt like heaven. it felt like my whole life was complete when i kissed him, when i felt him. he felt like home. something i hadn't known in a long time. i pulled away, breathing slightly heavy as i looked into his chocolate brown eyes.

"noah.." i whispered.

he smiled softly and hummed.

"i fucking love you."

"mm.. [y/n]." he mumbled against my lips.

"princess."

"[Y/N]!"

i woke up with a soft groan, my eyes fluttering open. i looked around, my vision slightly blurry as i tried to assess who the hell was calling my name.

"jesus christ, fucking finally." folio huffed. "do you know where noah is?"

"what? he was just-" i looked up from where i was laying, seeing an empty spot beside me. i furrowed my brows.

"he was here. we fell asleep watching naruto." i said.

"right, well he isn't anymore. we had a rehearsal today and he's not here. no note, no text, and his location is off.''

just like last time.

overcome with sudden anger, i got up and threw the blanket off of me, grabbing my bag. i knew this was a mistake. i knew i never should've let that fucker back in my life. i really thought he would change. how stupid.

"woah, kid, where are you going?" folio asked, confused by my haste.

"i'm fucking leaving. tell noah he can leave me the hell alone. i did this once, i am not doing it again." i snapped as i left the studio, getting in my car and speeding off.

NOAH'S POV.

[y/n] had fallen asleep in the middle of us watching naruto last night. i didn't have the heart to wake her up or move her, so i gave her a soft kiss on the forehead and went home. she wouldn't mind, right?

i was at my computer in my room, streaming some games when my phone went off next to me. i furrowed my brows and leaned back in my chair, noticing a very long message from folio.

folio: where the fuck were you today, dude? we had rehearsal to record some shit and you weren't there. not to mention when i woke [y/n] up from the couch to ask where the hell you were, she stormed out and looked extremely pissed and told me to tell you to leave her the hell alone. i don't know what the fuck happened, but you need to fix it. fast. we just got her back, we can't lose her again.

i cursed, quickly ending the stream and pulling on a hoodie and some shoes, running out to my car and speeding off to [y/n]'s house. yeah, she told me to 'leave her the hell alone,' but there's no way in hell i'm doing that. not again. not after i just got her back.

i ran up to the front door, banging on it harshly. she opened it, and when she saw my face, immediately went to go close it again.

READER'S POV.

just when i had started recovering from everything, him leaving me again made me fall back into that pit of despair. multiple bottles laid out in front of me, and i just stared at the wall. until there was a loud banging on my front door.

"damn, where's the fire?" i muttered. as i got off the couch to go open the door, only to be met with the one face i didn't want to see at the moment.

i huffed, moving to close the door again without a word, but he pushed it open.

"no, i'm not letting you shut me out like last time." he said, walking inside.

"noah, go away. you've already made it clear you don't want me in your life. why do you keep coming back if all you're going to do is leave again?"

he looked at me. "that's what this is all about? because i left the studio while you were sleeping?"

"yes! you left. no note, no text, and your fucking location was off!"

noah scoffed. "you're acting like an obsessive girlfriend."

i raised my eyebrows. "really? obsessive girlfriend because i get hurt when you leave with no word? news flash, noah, it's called being worried! i trusted you not to leave. i thought after everything that happened yesterday, we could move on and be friends, but you just up and left without a word! now i don't give a shit about any of your excuses. this is the second time you've done this shit, and i'm done. done!" i yelled

noah, stood there, stunned. "princess, i-"

"don't fucking call me that! i don't want to see you, i don't want to hear you, i don't want to be near you. just fucking leave me alone!" i yelled, tears streaming down my face.

"jesus christ, [y/n], would you fucking listen for five seconds!?" he snapped.

i clenched my jaw. "what, noah? what could you possibly have to say that is so important in this moment?"

he sighed, sitting down and running his hands through his long brown hair. the hair i just wanted to sit down and run my hands through, soothe all his worries. but how could i do that when he couldn't even soothe mine about him leaving?

"listen, the first time i left, i got a text from alyssa."

"who?"

"my gir- ex girlfriend." he said "why is that relevant?"

"she cheated on me. i thought that maybe she called me to try and fix things. you know, make amends. show me she was different, that she could change. when i got there, she was practically begging on her knees for me to stay. and as much as it hurt, i said no. i left."

"why?" i asked

he clenched his jaw, and it was obvious he was debating on whether or not he should tell me.

i sat down beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder. this wasn't about our argument anymore. he needed someone to talk to. a friend.

when he told me the story, it was like all of the puzzle pieces in my mind seemed to click together.

he didn't want to leave. neither times that he left did he want to. but he had to. because there was this nagging voice in his mind telling him that everyone was the same, that they would all hurt him.

that he was nothing.

and i understood. sometimes, i had that voice too. the one that told me i would never be good enough for anybody. that i would never have the future i dreamed of. and when that happened, i would call nicholas, and he would talk to me about it or try to distract me from it.

and that's what noah needed.

not a distraction, because it seemed that was all he had been doing over the past few months was distracting himself from his problems. but he needed to talk to someone about it. someone who wouldn't judge him for his problems.

"i won't judge you, noah. you can tell me." i said softly, all anger from our earlier argument pushed aside in this moment.

"i was- am- in love with another woman. fuck, i don't even know at this point. everything is so complicated." he said.

i ignored the pit of jealousy forming in my stomach and nodded, allowing him to continue.

"alyssa was abusive. physically and mentally. i stayed with her for years, afraid to move on and try to start over. because i hate change. i've always been the kind of person to try and keep things exactly the way they are forever, y'know?" i nodded again. "but then keaton sent me a picture of her kissing another dude at the mall while we were out on tour. and the others had been telling me for years to break up with her, to leave and try and move on. but she was all i had, [y/n]. i felt like i would be reduced to nothing when i left her. and a little bit before i broke up with her, i realized something. i was in love with another woman. the way she moved, the way she spoke, the way she laughed when one of us said something funny. i wanted to be around her at all times. i wanted to be the one to make her laugh, to cheer her up when she was sad, to love and hold her in the night. and i'm trying to show her that, i really am. but every time i get close enough and gain that little slither of confidence i need to show her how much i care, something fucking happens and i screw it all up and we go back to hating each other. and it hurts, because i love her, and all i want is for her to know how much i love her." he said, and i noticed the tears streaming down his face. as much as my heart yearned for that woman to be me, i just wanted him to be happy, even if it was at the cost of losing him again. if he was truly happy, then i was happy.

"well, noah, first of all, i think you should take a break. from everything. music, touring, socials. all of it. give yourself a fresh start, a breather. a moment to figure out what it is that you want for yourself, not what other people want for you. and then after you've done that, show her that you care. that you love her. build up that relationship gradually until you know it's time to tell her how you really feel. but i just want to say this. stop disappearing. stop leaving. it's okay to feel vulnerable. it's okay to have feelings, and to cry. but it's not okay to abandon the people who care about you."

noah finally looked up at me, his eyes filled with unshed tears. "i'm so sorry, [y/n]. please, you have to forgive me."

i wanted to forgive him. i wanted to throw caution to the wind and kiss those beautiful lips and tell him that everything would be okay. but i couldn't.

"i know you are, noah. i know. but just like you, i need time to myself. to figure out who i want to be. this isn't goodbye, this is just see you later. okay?"

he nodded, a single tear slipping down his cheek, and i hugged him.

noah left that night, his heart heavy in his chest as he walked out of my door. it pained me to let him go, but i knew it was for the better. it was what we both needed to be happy. to let go. to move on.

it was nearly a year later before i saw him again. we still talked occasionally, but not very often. just simple messages, checking up on each other.

my career in music took off. i released my first album titled Happier Than Ever, and noah released his titled The Death of Peace of Mind, though his was a bit before mine.

i didn't try to date anyone. didn't try to hook up or have a casual fling or anything of the sorts. my focus was solely on my music and my career. that was all i cared about at the moment, and to be honest, it helped me let go of a lot of things.

i invited noah to my album release party, and he told me that he and the others would try their best to make it there. i had seen the other three in person a couple times, but i never really saw noah. from what i've heard from others, he's changed a lot.

two of noah's friends had made it to the party, bryan, their photographer, and matt, their tour manager. i was talking to one of my old friends when matt came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder, snatching my attention as he whispered something in my ear.

"noah's here."

my breath caught in my throat and i nodded, excusing myself from the conversation. a ton of different memories hit me all at once, but one stood out from all the rest.

i missed him. so fucking much.

and i loved him.

i looked around, trying to spot that familiar head of hair. there weren't very many people; only close friends and family, so i furrowed my brows when i couldn't see him, until i heard his voice.

"hey, princess." he spoke from behind me, and i whipped my body around to face him, my breath halting for a moment.

holy.

fucking.

shit.

to say he was hotter than hell was a bit of an understatement. he'd gotten taller, and definitely stronger. he'd been working out, i could tell. and that beautiful brown hair that i had grown oh so fond of had been chopped short.

"noah." i said, and he laughed softly. "don't start drooling."

i laughed, shaking my head as i pulled him into a short hug. "sorry, you just look really fucking good. you cut your hair." i said, my fingers brushing the ends as if my touch alone would make it grow back.

he nodded. "yeah, decided it was time for a change. they say hair holds memories, and all that held memories i would rather forget." he said, and i nodded in understanding.

it felt like a fresh start. he was different, looks and personality wise, and so was i.

"you look really good, too." he said, giving me a look over as i did a little twirl with a soft laugh.

"thank you. i thought a little makeover was due. especially to fit the theme of the album." i said, and he nodded.

"i haven't heard it yet. wanted to save it for when i got here. like a little surprise, you know?" and i nodded as the first song started playing over the speakers of my house, and him and i went to go outside and talk.

"i'm getting older, i think i'm aging well. i wish someone had told me i'd be doing this by myself."

"so, how's everything going with mystery girl?" i asked, and he furrowed his brows in confusion as it dawned on him.

"oh, her." he rubbed the back of his neck. "uh, we haven't really talked in a while. been taking time for myself, like you said." i smiled softly. "smart man."

"i'm not sentimental but there's something 'bout the way you look tonight. makes me wanna take a picture, make a movie with you that we'd have to hide."

what an understatement, i thought. noah raised his eyebrows at the lyrics, looking at me with a small smirk. i shrugged.

"do you think you're gonna make a move on her soon?" i asked.

"i might tonight, actually after the party."

i hummed, nodding my head and ignoring the jealousy that began to bubble up again. "how?"

"well," he began, looking at me and leaning closer. "i was thinking, i would take her upstairs, and-"

"[y/n]!!" nicholas exclaimed, approaching us.

NOAH'S POV.

i groaned, throwing my head back. just as i was about to make a move, we got interrupted. i watched [y/n] stand up with a smile on her face as she hugged nicholas, the memory of what was just about to happen seeming to disappear from her mind, though it lingered in mine.

if i didn't get to have her tonight, i didn't know if i ever would.

i'm so fucked.

i ran a hand through my hair, watching as nick and [y/n] spoke, before eventually, i couldn't take it anymore. i apologized to nick, taking [y/n]'s hand and dragging her upstairs.

"noah? what-" she began as i pulled her into her bedroom, closing and locking the door before pressing her up against it and pressing my lips to hers.

i could tell she was shocked. she put her hands on my chest, pushing lightly. "noah, what about-"

"you're her." i said

"what?"

"you're her, princess. you're the woman i was in love with. the woman i'm still in love with. fuck, i thought taking time would make these stupid feelings go away but the moment i saw you in this fucking dress i couldn't take it anymore. i need you, [y/n]. will you have me?"

she was quiet for a moment before she nodded slowly. "yes."

[lucielifer]

Bad decision, baby

Pairing: Dean Winchester/reader

Content warning: mentions of prodomal schizophrenia, suicidal ideation, dissociation, attempted suicide, fluff, angst (duh), hopelessness, no use of Y/N, mentions of violence. Slightly inspired by mandela catalogue if you squint.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She didn’t want to admit that she enjoyed that the melancholy was palpable. It made her certain that she was alive, if only for the weight she carried with each breath. The cold, silent winter breeze that just barely rustled the leaves around her if you really listened; the slight chill that tingled my bare arms. She should’ve brought a jacket; but it wouldn’t have changed anything.

Her eyelids fell closed as she sucked in the presence of everything around her as if she was trying to remember it which, to be fair, she is. Her head felt especially calm while she focused on her senses: the smell of the grass, stale cigarette smoke and asphalt; the sound of her breathing and the, occasional, alert calls of birds as they sat in the trees; the cold nibble of wind on her skin, the stickiness of the metal; and, when she parted her jaws, the taste of the night lingered right on the tip of her tongue-- the good things that tried to pull her backwards, back to the warmth and comfort of her home, back to him instead of this hellscape.

She left him while they were sleeping, resting on his chest, his hand cupping her jaw as they lay with their noses pressed against each other. She wasn’t asleep that night, staring at as much of his face as she could. He smelled like home-- like love and safety and a brightness that enveloped her whole-- like her most favorite memory. That’s what made it harder to leave, what made every bone ache as she slipped out from under his grip onto the soft plush of their carpet. He hated that carpet, but she fell in love with it, so he caved and bought it. It didn’t match anything in their room in the slightest; but to her, that just made it more special.

“De, look at this thing!” She barked with surprised glee, her hand shooting out to push the hangers away from the, frankly ugly light brown carpet. It was obviously old-- frayed and faded patterns etched into the carefully woven fabric-- but it looked very well-loved.

He had come up behind her, an arm draped over her waist because he just couldn’t stand to not touch her in some way, “What?” He had said into her ear, his head tilted down to press a kiss to the side of her temple while he peered at the carpet in her hands through the corner of his eye.

“Can we get this?” She asked, tilting her head backwards so she could look up at his face, her grin splitting her face the second their eyes connected.

“This is what you want?” He scoffed, raising an eyebrow as he used his free hand to grab her wrist, pulling the carpet back so he could take a better look, “Why this one?”

“Look at it!” She tried to defend, looking back down so she could grab the hanger and pull it off the hook, turning the fabric in her hands. The pattern, albeit faded, was charming-- the old feel of the woven fabric scratching against her fingers.

“I am looking at it, baby. It’s ugly.” Dean had said with a laugh, shaking his head as he gave her another kiss and pulled away-- his hand resting on the small of her back. She pouted, rolling her eyes as she slung it over her elbow.

“If we don’t take it, no one will.” Was all she responded with, giving him one of her grins while she stepped out of his grip and grabbed his hand, pulling him down the aisle. She could hear the rough exhale of his breath, his free hand moving to cup the back of her neck while they walked, squeezing her scruff and making her squeal with a laugh. She had turned to look up at him, meeting his smiling face with her own before she let go of his hand in favor of letting him lead their way.

The memory left a bitter twinge in her mouth while she went to slip on her shoes as fast as she could-- just so she didn’t have to feel the carpet on her toes. It’s astonishing how quickly things can go from good to bad. It was like that carpet was the beginning of a timer, counting down the end.

Nothing had caused it, per se; but, before she knew it, everything around her was just dimmed and diluted just like the carpet. She had this constant weight on her chest, hardening her breaths whenever she inhaled. The crushing weight of loneliness and sorrow. Everything just became further away-- just barely out of her reach-- isolating her from everything around her. Even his touch felt fuzzy, like it was imaginary even though it was, undoubtedly, very real. She stopped going to her classes and no amount of bargaining or pleading Dean could do would tempt her away from the cocoon of their bed. She was letting herself just fade, staying in bed and staring off into the distance.

Eventually, she knew it was starting to hurt Dean more and more. Every meal skipped, every question that would go unanswered.

“Just tell me how to help you.” Dean had said earnestly earlier that night. He made her tomato soup, the cup lying forgotten on the bedside table when Dean knelt to his knees, petting her cheek as he tried to get her to meet his gaze. She stayed quiet, constantly trying to look anywhere else but at him.

“Sweetheart…” He whispered, pushing her hair out of her face. He knew she wouldn’t talk, she hadn’t in weeks, so he just looked down at her-- pity and guilt in his eyes while his thumb brushed over her eyelid. She felt him pull away, heard the sound of him crawling into bed, the dip of the mattress as he slid into place behind her. She moved instantly, turning around so she could lay her head on his chest, her arm falling over his stomach while he turned his head to nuzzle into her hair.

She wanted to go back to him, wanted to feel his warmth chase away all the bad thoughts and feelings in her head. Shadows danced in the corner of her vision, in the spots where it was the darkest, and with it returned the gnawing presence that was permanently burnt into the back of her neck, gone when she tried to look. It was draining her-- the fear that just wouldn’t go away no matter what she did. She couldn’t sleep because of it, the second her eyes would close she’d either forget how to breathe, or her eyes would instinctively snap back open. She was afraid of sleeping, afraid of leaving the room, afraid of everything around her.

This happened sometimes, this state of depressive psychosis. It was worse every time, and always came about at the most unsuspecting moments. Tonight, though, it’s leaving her with a voice in the back of her mind that just screamed at her to run, run, run.

She didn’t even change her clothes, slipping on her slippers before ducking out of the room silently. Her mind was racing-- a hand pressed to her chest while she went into the restroom. Everything was so loud, so heavy, the need to just make everything shut the fuck up pounding on her head and heart as if she were trapped-- banging on the walls of this prison until her knuckles were bleeding and deformed. Her hands were shaking as she pulled open the medicine cabinet, grabbing something and pushing the bottle into her pocket. It sounded full, the low clatter of pills jostling around while she turned on her heel to leave. She couldn’t resist the cracked open door of their bedroom, pausing outside of it to glance in and watch the way Dean had moved to clutch at her pillow-- as if she were still there.

As soon as she got outside, it was like all hell broke loose for her. Everything just swallowed her whole, making her take in a sharp inhale as she pressed her hand against the wall to keep her upright. It all felt like a thick, heavy fog that choked when she breathed it in-- the endless void of cold air and darkness pressing in from all sides. Everything crowded her with cruel hands, forcing her to be even smaller than the world around her while she tried to reign in her breathing. The world was quiet, but the night wasn’t. It breathed around her, alive with sounds she couldn’t focus on for long enough to make sense of them, rustling and whispering noises that were too coincidental, too deliberate. It all just felt wrong, like it was all sentient. Shadows weren’t just moving as the wind rustled, they lurched and shifted and sent jolts of static skittering along her nerves with sharp claws that scratched down the skin of her bare arms and legs.

She paused, taking her hand off the wall so she could cover her eyes, looking at the floor to try and block everything but her feet as she stepped over fallen leaves and stumbled down the stairs. Each step reverberated off the walls, bounding around her skull and mixing with the blood pumping in her ears. Her breathing hitched as she missed the last step, just barely catching herself on the handrail as she hunched herself over it. She felt like she was going to gag, she was going to choke on the fog and everything she was trying to ignore-- for just long enough that she could get to where she wanted to go-- was going to tear into her with jagged teeth and screaming and silence all at the same time. The streetlights hummed louder than they should, an electric drone that pierced through the sounds and murmuring voices in her mind that she couldn’t quite make out.

Run. The sharpness of one voice cut through-- her voice, but not her voice-- commanding and piercing and making her cover her ears. It’ll hurt you, haven’t you learned already? Her nails dug into her scalp, grounding her with the dull sting of pain before she growled to herself and got up from the handrail-- her fists clenched at her sides while she walked faster. He’ll find you if you don’t run. Who will find her? Dean? Something else?

A flicker of movement accompanied the voice but, when her head snapped to the side as she stumbled and turned to face the noise mid-step, it was gone. She walked faster instinctively, her nails digging into her palms providing a constant throb she could hold onto. Things kept following her-- chasing her. The parked cars and their fogged windows filled with her dread, no longer empty; but empty. Like there might be something there if she looked. Nothing was worth the risk. Her breath quickened as she broke into a jog, her eyes facing forward but not really looking at where she was going.

By the time she reached the park-- her park-- her chest was heaving, everything was crowding her mind with overcrowded whispers and sensations. She didn’t even feel cold anymore, a bead of cold sweat falling down her brow, coincidentally, intentionally, right when she moved to rub at her face. Pulling it back, she hitched in a breath when she thought she saw something standing by the bench barely visible between the trees. It was gone when she focused on it; but she saw it, she saw something. Her feet drug her forward, toward the bench like they had a mind of her own. She felt dull, empty, like a passive observer. It was the only way she could shut everything out.

Don’t you know how this ends?

The voice whispered, it’s voice sounding like the combined, melodic tune of a choir-- with bass and alto and soprano and tenor, like every voice she’d ever heard was speaking at one time. Her heart pounded, but she continued on, her slippers brushing over the wet grass and ticking the skin on the sides of her feet. By the time she reached the bench, everything just shut off when her hand met the dew that seemed to move unnaturally, like liquid mercury pooling and spilling along its edges. The silence was more deafening than everything else. It cut off like the shut down of an old tv and everything felt louder; the crickets and birds and the vague drone of cars and sparse night-life. She recoiled at the noises, at the feeling of the metal on her palm that stung her skin like flame, but forced herself to sit.

Her head tipped backwards, mouth agape as her eyelids fluttered closed; but even behind her lids, the shadows swirled in patterns of kaleidoscopes that reminded her of the unsettling feeling of not being alone. The sky above-- the trees that blanketed over her-- was a suffocating abyss, making her feel like she was hovering just above the bench, not quite touching while the darkness was fractured by cracks of faint light she knew wasn’t real. She tried to pull herself back into her senses-- breathe, focus, ground-- but the presence stabbed the back of her neck, slowly growing heavier.

She knew the silence was intentional, like she came back to earth just enough so that everything would feel okay. She felt her pulse race again, felt the weight of the pills in her pocket burn like they were some protective charm-- activated by the theoretical presence of the stalker.

Do it. Don’t open your eyes. See it-- see him. Put it to an end. Don’t open your eyes. Look at him. Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Do it. DO IT. DO IT. LOOK AT ME.

The voice cut in with a commanding, loud scream in her skull, making her whimper, pulling her knees to her chest while she curled into a ball against the corner of the bench, her breathing heavy and ragged while she sobbed. She couldn’t take it, everything was too much. She had never felt this terrified in her life. The distance of all her senses felt more foreboding-- like a threat. She could feel the presence right in front of her face now, breathing on her skin loud enough that she trembled-- every nerve pulsating with life and making her skin tingle. She couldn’t look now that she was certain the man in the corner of her awareness was right in front of her face. Watching her. She couldn’t look, she couldn’t risk allowing it to become real. She didn’t want to know whether or not this was actually happening, she didn’t want to be exposed.

Her hand reached into her pocket, wrapping around the pill bottle and holding onto it tightly, like it would protect her. The breathing in her ears was interrupted by her own, fast and desperate while she sobbed and whimpered. She did not want to see what was on the other side of her eyelids, but it was calling to her.

Open your ey-ey-ey-ey-eyes. See-e me.

She sat up, her eyes still closed while she pulled out the bottle-- sobs filling the silence. Her hands went to unscrew the cap, but then hands wrapped around her wrists.

“Let go of me!” She yelled, her body thrashing against a grip that was suddenly very real. “Don't touch me-- don't-- please--” She sobbed, sucking in a breath too large for her lungs while her back slammed against the bench and pinned her down. She needed to fight, she needed to keep her eyes closed, she needed to defend herself. But was she? Or was she stalling.

Look at me! Come on! Look at me! You're safe, I promise you you're safe. I won't hu-ur-t you. I’ll never hurt you. I love you. Baby, I love you. Open your eyes. You’re okay.

“SHUT UP!” She screamed, kicking her legs out and being met with a wall of flesh.

“No, no, no no no, no-- stop! Stop!” She howled.

“STOP!” The voice rang out, arms wrapping around her waist-- pinning her arms to her sides, sending the bottle of pills crashing to the ground. She was pulled closer, the large mass bending her knees inward until they were pinned to her chest with their bodies.

She sobbed, her head spinning with a white light while noises and sounds and feelings all crunched and malformed her bone structure against her will. She continued to fight, continued to try and scratch and claw anywhere she could reach; but it was too strong. This was it, this was the end. Nothing felt real, but the air had changed. She told herself it was all in her head—just stress, just the weight of everything building up—but deep down, the certainty that something had shifted, something fundamental, gnawed at her, impossible to shake.

Then she felt like she was floating, her ribs aching as she was pulled and thrown down to the floor, arms and legs wrapping around her frame. It suffocated her. The vague feeling of warmth on the back of her neck, squeezing at the scruff of her neck while another limb wrapped around her back and held her close. It felt like something was on her, weight sitting on top of her thighs and keeping her from moving while the hand on her neck tangled into her hair.

“It's okay..” The voice said, brighter than it was before, a hand rubbing over the sharp knuckles of her spine. The touch felt different, warm. The voice wasn't a pounding in her skull, it was soft and enveloping. Her mind tried to tell her it was wrong, a trick.

Don't you know how this ends already? He can't save you. You're going to be mine. There isn't enough room for the both of us.

She sobbed and spoke under her breath, quiet pleading for her safety.

“I know, Baby. I know. It's going to be okay.” It whispered back, the hand on the back of her head forcing her face into the crook of their neck. The scent was intoxicating, making her fall still and her eyes snap open as the familiarity washed over her. She felt their breath hitch, the large hand stilling its’ petting movements on the back of her head and neck-- like it was waiting for her. Then, her arms shot out, wrapping around and accepting the comfort wholly while she buried her face in its neck again. Her hand cupped where she thought the face would be, her thumb brushing over stubble before grabbing onto hair.

“It's okay. It's Dean. It's just me. You're okay. I’m here for you, baby.” It-- Dean-- cooed, making her melt in his arms while her chest wracked with sobs. She breathed in his scent: sandalwood and a hint of spice that made her nose tickle.

“I’m scared.” She whimpered, the limb around her back moving to hold the back of her neck while the other hand carded through her hair and caressed her cheek.

“I know, baby. It’s going to be okay.” He said, pressing a kiss to the side of her temple.

Everything was already starting to feel okay. She suddenly didn't hear any voices, didn't feel foreboding presences circling around her like vultures-- waiting for the moment she gave in to strike. All she could focus on was him, of his safety and warmth. He continued to whisper in her ears, moving his head to either side of hers so he could ground her while his hands continued to move over her body.

It took a while, a long while of whispered words describing the things around them, reasurances and praises-- “That’a girl. You're okay. You're doing so good, I’m so proud of you, Sweetheart.” Eventually, her breathing slowed to a manageable pace, her arm wrapped tightly around the back of his neck while her wide open eyes scanned everything around them. She didn't see anything, she didn't hear anything except for him-- she felt safe.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, a quick movement of the hand in her hair pulling her head backwards until she was face-to-face with Dean for the first time. His eyes were red-rimmed, thin scratches on his face and a small bruise on his cheek bone.

“It’s okay, honey. You have nothing to be--”

“I hurt you.” She whispered, cutting off his words as her hands moved to cup his face and be swallowed by guilt and fear.

“It's okay. I promise. It’ll heal.” He whispered back, pushing their foreheads together while they looked into each other’s eyes, “It’s you I care about right now. Are you okay, baby?”

She had to take a moment to respond, just looking at him as their noses pushed together. Was she okay? Could she be okay again? Did she look at the figure in the shadows? Would the voices come back now that they know she’ll listen? Would--

“Hey, baby. Look at me.” Dean said, moving his face back in front of hers the second things started to spiral again.

“Tell me what's going on,” He said, holding onto her face with both hands and forcing her to only look at him. At the green hue of his eyes in the darkness.

“Everything,” she said with a whisper, her voice breaking as her hands covered his own, “Everything scares me. Everything feels wrong and evil and I’m scared.” She whimpered, watching Dean’s face as his eyebrows creased.

“Tell me what you feel, baby.” He urged, closing his eyes briefly as he sucked in a breath-- she instinctively knew to copy him.

She closed her eyes, forcing herself to copy the slow rise and fall of his chest.

“It’s cold.” She whispered, her lips parting as she tried to focus on her senses.

“Okay. It’s cold,” Dean agreed, his thumbs brushing over her cheekbones, “Am I cold?” He asked in a whisper, pressing a kiss on the bridge of her nose.

“N-no you’re-- you're warm.”

“Does that scare you?”

“No.” She answered honestly, breathing out a sigh and nuzzling her nose against his.

“What else do you feel? Can you hear me?” He continued, trying to get her to focus on him and herself.

“I hear you.”

“Good. I love you, you know that, right?” He spoke, pulling back a little bit so he could see her fully-- ignoring the way she just looked hollow, “I love you so much. Do you know that?” He said, pushing her hair off of her forehead.

“I don't care if you're broken,” he continued, “if you're scared. I’ll always be here for you. I’ll always be here to remind you you're okay.” He said quietly, his voice earnest while he read her face.

Her lips pulled back with a whimper, her face leaning into his hands, “I know. I’m sorry. I love you so much.” She said with a quiet sob, holding onto the backs of his hands for support.

“It's just so scary. Everything feels wrong and deliberate. Like there’s just always something there just waiting and watching me. And the voices I--” She cut herself off, her eyes fluttering shut as she flinched back from just the thought alone.

“They wouldn't stop.”

Dean was quiet for a moment, looking down at her with a look of helplessness that was just hidden under his tenderness. One of his hands slid over her cheek, down the side of her neck, her bare arms, until his fingers interlocked with hers.

“Let's go home, yeah? Let's get you warmed up, baby.” He said with a soft smile as he got up from her lap-- where he was straddling her waist to keep her from hurting herself or him. Her head still felt cloudy, she still felt dazed while fear tinged at the edge of her peripherals. She didn't fight back as he let go of her face, his free hand hooking under her armpit as he lifted her to her feet. Once they were standing, he pulled her into his arms again, pushing his face into her hair while he guided her arms around his waist.

“I got you now. I promise. We’re gonna make everything okay, okay? We’re gonna get you some help.” He reassured her with a quiet whisper in her ear while his arms enveloped her completely.

“Okay, Dean.” She agreed as her head tucked under his chin.

“Can you walk, baby? Or do you want me to carry you?” He said, his voice soft-- lacking any judgment or scrutiny. He was always so warm to her, softer with her than anyone else. He was so attentive, remembering all her favorite things, favorite spots to be touched, all the small things that made her swoon and moan and relax all at the same time. He always made her feel so loved. Especially at night, when his lips kissed every inch of her skin like he was trying to commit her to memory, every time finding something new that made her sigh or mewl.

She had to keep reminding herself of these things, saying them louder in her head the second things started to feel wrong again.

“Can you carry me?” She asked quietly, already letting go of his waist so she could stand on her tip toes and put her arms around his neck.

“Okay, baby. I’ll carry you.” He whispered, kissing the top of her head before his arm snaked around her back, his other hand moving to cup the swell of her ass.

“Come on. Up.” He said with a small smile, giving her ass a gentle pat until she jumped up eagerly, her legs wrapping around his waist and her arms pulling her closer to his chest. He held her effortlessly, his hand under her gripping her while he started to walk toward-- where she assumed-- was his car.

They stayed silent as they walked, her eyes wide as she watched his back-- trying to make sure nothing was following them. His hands occasionally wandered, but kept her pressed to his chest even as he let go to open the passenger door.

“Come on, baby. I’m gonna put you down, okay?” He whispered against her head while he grabbed onto her waist.

She whimpered at the thought, holding onto him tighter as she whimpered out her rejections.

“It's only for a second. I promise. Can you get down for me, Sweetheart?” He urged, pulling back so he could look down at her.

She worried her lip before nodding hesitantly before she unraveled herself from his grip with his help.

“Good girl.” He said with a smile as he gently guided her into the car.

Once she was sat, her ducked his head inside, holding the side of her face while he pulled her closer to kiss her cheek, “I’ll be right there, okay? Here--” He said gently, pulling back so he could shrug off his jacket and drape it over her. He pulled away after he ghosted his knuckle over her cheek, rounding the front of the Impala and sliding into the driver's seat before she even had a chance to miss his presence.

Thanks for reading 💕 tell me if you want more. I got at LEAST another chapter simmering in my brain--waiting for praise to be written, lol

[rebelliousstories]

Welcome to Tortuga

Relationship: Remy LeBeau/Gambit x Reader

Fandom: X-Men

Request: Yes by Anon

Warnings: Fluff, Brief Angst, Mentions of Drinking

Word Count: 1,514

Main Masterlist: Here

X-Men Masterlist: Here

Summary: In a word full of pirates, codes, and mystery, a pirate’s life just might be the life to live.

Consider Donating: Here

Tortuga. A little hideaway in the middle of the ocean. A place where there were very few laws, but everyone lived by a code. Whether that was pirate, thief, or assassin; everyone lived by a code.

The whispers around the island that day were the stuff of legend. Mostly, because everyone was talking about the stuff of legends. Le Diable Blanc was seen about five hundred yards off the coast of Tortuga, which meant that he was coming.

Legends surrounding the ship and her crew stretched back to the first time she ever set sail. A smooth talking, sharp witted Cajun was at her helm spewing French and English curses alike to anyone that dared to cross them. However, her captain was also known to be a fair man to work for. He treated his crew well, so long as they stayed inside the lines. When they worked, it was a tight ship. When they played, anything was on the table.

And everyone in Tortuga knew this. When Le Diable Blanc came into port, Tortuga knew it was going to be a good pay day. Not only was the captain a wonderful captain, he was an even better pirate. Plundering every known and secret treasure from sea to sea. Them coming to town meant that the working girls were going to spend their evenings in the company of men that would have the bartenders getting richer and richer.

Gold, beer, food, and merriment was the night that they were to look forward to; crew and Tortugans alike.

“Bring her in nice and easy, der. Don’ wanna wreck Tortuga before we get there, mon amis! Only after!” Remy shouted to his men. Seeing the shores ahead, he started getting antsy. Only a few more moments before he could go check on her.

“Bonjour, Captian LeBeau!” A man shouted from the dock, awaiting with his own crew to help the infamous boat make port.

“Ah, bonjour Francis. Ready for a good few days, mon ami?” The captain called from the side of the boat, watching both crews working diligently to secure the vessel so that they may depart.

“Always when you come to town, LeBeau.” Now, Remy was able to stare down at the dock below, as his ship had finally come to the side of the dock. The plank was thrown, and he went ahead to step down first.

Brown leather boots that were impeccably crafted added some heft to his step. Dark grayish colored pants offset the creamy white billowy shirt on top. However, the long sweeping warm brown leather great coat that adorned his shoulders, trimmed in magenta, was his defining mark. There was just something about it that drew attention, whether that was good or bad, Remy did not care.

Stepping onto the dock, the man who had been nicknamed “Gambit” on account of his strategy for acquiring more loot, greeted Francis with a hearty handshake and hug. “Welcome back to Tortuga, monsieur LeBeau.”

“Always good to be back, monsieur Noir.” Waving his crew down, they piled out onto the dock.

Turning back to his crew, Remy made sure to project his voice. “We have three days in Tortuga before we depart. The ship will depart at sunrise the fourth day. Be here. Allons-y!”

Excited by the adventure that awaited, the crew took off like lightning; all the booze, women and gambling that was about to take place enticed them. With a chuckle, Remy began to make his way into town.

“Do you require anything, captain?” Francis followed after.

“No, no, no. Well, maybe later. A room at the inn. But for now no. Merci, mon ami.” Shaking hands, the two men parted ways. Francis went off to another port to supervise another ship’s docking, while Remy went deeper into the heart of the city.

As he did, he saw his crew engaging in debauchery as they let loose from the three months at see. It was not the most glamorous time, being on the sea constantly, but everyone made do. Sure, the gold and treasure was lovely, but there was something to be said about the touch of a woman after so long.

“Remy! Remy! Come over here!” He heard the enchanting call of ladies of the night. Turning to walk backwards for a bit, the captain blew them a kiss, before continuing on ahead. Instead of stopping in the middle of the town, Gambit continued to head towards the outskirts of the town on the other side.

Dark waters came into view not too much longer after. Reaching a hand into his inside jacket pocket, Remy felt the weight of the necklace that he was about to give up. But it did not matter how many pieces of jewelry he relinquished, it would all be worth it. Sitting on the rocks near the crashing waves was a woman who was gently combing her hair out.

No matter how many times he saw here, Gambit was still in awe that he got to witness this gorgeous creature in all her glory. Traversing the rough terrain, he tried not to slip on the rocks that were slick with algae beneath his feet. As he drew near, Remy stayed as quiet as possible.

Right in the woman’s ear, he whispered, “did you enjoy the journey?”

She squealed, turning in shock at the man that was there. Her claws were poised and ready to go, fangs were breaking free of their confinement. Scales were shining from the distant lights gleaming from the town behind them.

“Remy,” the woman breathed softly, “you scared me, mon amour.”

Retracting the claws and fans, she tried to ensure that everything that could hurt the man was gone before holding his face and bringing him in for a kiss. She relaxed into his arms that had sound their way around her waist, fingers teasing the scales right there at the edge. Pulling away when she felt the need for air, her eyes raked over his face. “I missed you, Remy.”

“I missed you, chere. But, I got a present for you.” He replied, reaching into his coat pocket once more. Pulling the necklace out, he waited patiently to see what her reaction was going to be. A pendant with a large blue ultramarine stone sat in the center, with lots of little diamonds surrounding it on a gorgeous silver chain. Her hands went to her mouth as she gasped.

“You can trade de chain for your cord if you’d like. Got it shortly after we left the Caribbean coast last time. Managed to raid a jewelers ship. Thought you’d look pretty with dis on.” Gambit explained, continuing to watch her reaction.

“Oh, Remy. For me? Really?” Her words were that of disbelief.

“Nothin’ but da best for mon chere. Here,” and he began to drop it around her neck. Clasping it, he let his hands linger around her shoulders that were slightly damp as her hair hand yet to finish drying.

Without another word, she lurched forward, and tackled him with kisses. Remy could only chuckle at the woman’s affections. However, she slipped just a bit as the scales on the lower half of her body were unable to stay put on the slick algae beneath them. He caught her, and just hauled her up onto his lap.

“No, no, no. Your clothes, Remy.” She tried to protest, only to be met with a kiss that made her quiet.

“I’ll change them when I head back in. Da Gambit don’t mind them gettin’ a bit wet if it means holdin’ you, chere.” While one hand stayed around her waist, the other came up to cup her cheek. She nuzzled into it, enjoying the warmth he provided.

“When you do leave?” The woman asked softly.

“Four sunrises from now. We headin’ back towards England. Maybe a stop in at France. You gonna come along?” Remy brushed his fingers over the textured scales all along her face, enjoying the feeling underneath the tips of his fingers.

“Of course. I go where you go.” Leaning in, her promise was sealed with a deep, and loving kiss. The one thing she never grew tired of was kissing him above the water. However, there was the tinge of something bitter in her mind that soured the lip lock for her. Something that Remy was able to pick up in a heartbeat.

“Don’ worry, chere.” He reassured her, pulling away from the kiss. “We gon’ find who did dis to ya and make dem change ya back. I swear it.”

“I hope so, Remy.” Her face found its way into his neck as they looked out on the waves ahead. The stars were so pretty over here, something that they both enjoyed looking at.

It was a difficult thing to love a pirate. A difficult life to lead. But they would not have it any other way. It was the life they led, and it was the life they chose. And specifically, they chose to do it side by side. A siren and a pirate.

[sachermorte]

tell me why I'm meeting this girl for the second time and when we were talking about the possible fpö victory in the upcoming election she went "well roland should be fine. he'd blend in great with the far right" 💀💀💀

[foldingfittedsheets]

There was this park near where I grew up. I remember we’d just moved to the area so I was around six and we drove past and saw this waterfront area. My parents decided to check it out so we went for a walk. It was a lovely park, there’s a lazy slough, lots of trees, extremely picturesque. My parents ambled along the trail enjoying the nature while my siblings and I ranged around in their orbit like excitable moons.

Then I saw something odd. Something vibrantly alive down by the water that was entirely the wrong color. I called back my vital scouting info and my family gathered around me. We looked down the steep verge toward the slough, screened by underbrush. We couldn’t quite make out what it was. The only thing we could agree was that it certainly wasn’t a duck. However it was about duck sized and roughly duck shaped. It just wasn’t a duck.

This led to some heated debate amongst my siblings and I but we were forbidden to scramble down the muddy hill to harass the mystery animal. Reluctantly we continued down the trail, speculating wildly when a chicken popped out of a bush in front of us with a train of several chicks.

We froze. The chicken did not. She placidly herded her little puffs across the trail, pecking happily for seeds, unbothered by our proximity. My family had not yet delved into farming and this was the first time any of us kids had seen a chicken up close. It was like a fairytale thing, a creature we had seen over and over in books was suddenly here in the wilderness of the park. We all realized the mystery creature had likewise been a chicken.

Another couple came up the trail and saw us staring.

“Is this your first time at the park?” They asked?

We nodded.

They informed us that this park had become a dumping ground for unwanted chickens. Once the chickens were dumped they were park property and the locals didn’t mind the eccentric additions at all. No one looked after the chickens, but they got on surprisingly well.

As the years went by we visited the park regularly. Signs were added to warn people not to dump off chickens or they’d be fined. They were also excluded from snatching the existing chickens. The hope was that the chickens would eventually run their course and the park would go back to normal.

It did not.

Instead the menagerie grew. Peacocks cropped up occasionally, turkeys; and one visit we saw guinea fowl. But there were always chickens. Eventually feed dispenser were installed so park goers could pay a quarter to enjoy the motley flocks.

Because we’d moved into a house with land my mom started up a chicken coop and we got our very own chickens at the feed store like proper folks. The first rooster we had was a gentleman, politely clucking at us when came into the coop, but the second proved troublesome a year later. He either adored or hated me. Every time I entered the coop he’d dance and flounce and brandish his spurs.

My mom didn’t want to off him frankly she didn’t know how at that point but his fascination ended with him flying at me and the rooster was sentenced to banishment.

We drove to the park.

We saw him there for years afterward, clucking dutifully around a small flock of hens. He did pretty well in exile.

Anyone who’s kept chickens knows that eventually there’s always a tragedy. Ours happened when a neighbors dog broke into our coop and slaughtered the flock. I was absolutely distraught, my lovingly hand reared chicks all decimated in a flurry of senseless bloodlust. I have not loved a chicken since. They are too fragile to bear it.

After a few days of mourning my mom offered that she knew where to find some more chickens. To make up for the massacre she planned a night raid with us. We stayed up past our bedtime and drove to the park with tarp covered kennels in the back of the truck.

We crept down along the gravel parking lot, looking up into the trees, spotting the telltale lumps of shadows that meant chickens. We quickly developed a strategy. We picked a chicken branch, creeping close underneath. Then we reached the end of the branch and gave it a good shake until the roosting chicken glided down to the ground in confusion. It was easy to scoop them up and we went home the proud new owner of a handsome flock of chickens.

The Take a Chicken Leave a Chicken park is still a beloved feature of its neighborhood to this day.

[gravegoer]

What if we get like an internal monologue of just how much Sevika is into you? Like if it’s her first day as counselor and she sees you walking around the halls helping out as an assistant. She can’t help but think reader is so damn cute! Maybe even reader flirts a little from afar <3

Pretty Piltie ⋆˚✿

thank you anon, and yes i love this, this is very cute ! i went a little different for some plot but i hope you like it :) i also have a few more pirate sevika fics coming out so look out for those ! coming sometime this week :) masterlist

After her first day on the council, she saw you in the hallway, walking around with your clipboard in your face. (Definitely in a hurry)

She raised an eyebrow at the pep in your step and the carelessness of you flipping through pages while walking. Before she could even move to the side, you bumped into her.

"I'm so sorry," You looked up at her with an embarrassed look on your face, "I thought the halls would be empty."

She couldn't even get a word out before your eyes widened, "Shit. The meeting is over, isn't it?"

You scurried to the doors she just came from, and she almost laughed at your actions. Even after the exasperating meeting she had a smile graced her lips.

Well, I could get used to that.

When she got home, her mind flashed back to the girl she encountered in the hallway, furrowing her brows. She tried to rid of the image. Maybe she was just thinking about it because it's the only exciting thing that occurred today. Yeah, that's it.

The next week, she had to come back for a second meeting, this time staying back longer to discuss things in finer details. A couple of councilors have already up and left as it was getting late.

After a few minutes, she saw you walk in with one of the council members. You had a nervous smile on your face while the older woman spoke to you.

Sevika let out a snort at your expression, finding it to be oddly cute but containing herself moments later. Although she couldn't stop eyeing you when you stood behind the councilors chair just across from her.

You were scrawling out things on your clipboard while the grey-haired woman in front of you spoke. Sevika was only half listening as her eyes bored into your face, taking in all your features.

I mean, who knew Piltover had princesses like this.

Suddenly, you looked up to make eye contact with Sevika, her brows 5 she averted eye contact to look at the woman in front of you.

She saw your smile from the corner of her vision when she looked away. Fuck.

It seemed like every time you looked away she stared back at you, she didn't come here to eye-fuck her co-workers assistant but damn.

She watched the way you tilted your head when hearing something strange, or raised your eyebrows at something controversial, bending over to whisper something in the ear of your boss.

All in all she was definitely lost in thought when someone called her name, "Sevika!"

She looked over at the woman beside her who spoke, "Shall I repeat myself? I say, what are your thoughts on this matter?"

Sevika blanked. She racked her brain for an answer but the only one it was coming up with was the curve of your smile and the hue of your eyes.

She saw your surprised face and you mouthed something to her, "Say you agree."

She coughed into her fist before speaking, "I suppose that's fine."

The others looked at her suspiciously but carried on nonetheless. Throughout the rest of the meeting she made sure to pay close attention, so that she wouldn't slip up Infront of her co-workers again.

When the meeting was dismissed she was the last to leave, running her hand down her face in a way to ease her mind. She took a deep breath before stepping into the hall.

She was greeted with the sight of you talking to a few advisors, taking notes, and handing out papers. She found it endearing the way you bounced from person to person, engaging in conversation.

It seemed like you were taking peoples opinions for your survey. This was her chance to redeem herself. (She's embarrassed you had to help her earlier.

After speaking with an unfamiliar lanky man, you turned around and locked eyes with Sevika once again.

You waved at her, flashing her a cute grin. But before you could take a step towards her, your boss was calling her away.

Immediately, you deadpanned and pulled your lips into an exaggerated frown. Sevika smirked at your expressions and flicked her hand teasingly in a shoo, motion.

She would most definetly be seeing you again.

i know this is a bit shorter than my usual, spare me

im also having major writers block and i have 20+ asks so 🙏 let me cook here, i also have many projects i want to get to

[propertyofwicked]

FIRST - LN

lando discovers his bestfriends little sister is a virgin, and will stop at no lengths to change that (and ruin her for anyone else)

warnings: smut!! MDNI!! virgin reader, fewtrell!sister, mostly soft smut with a small innocence kink

✧ it's officially assignment szn and ur girl is STRESSED. my posts wont be as frequent for a while but i am currently creating a backlog of things to post! ✧

masterlist the playlist

“ok, y/n - truth or dare?” ria asked the girl from across the circle they sat in on the floor of max’s living room.

being so close in age to her older brother, y/n fewtrell fit in well with his friendship group, often preferring to hang out with them over her own friends. a few others were dotted around the house, P and a couple girls using the kitchen. they were all due to head to a club soon, only using max’s house to pre drink as he lived closest.

“truth,” she responded, giggling slightly as the alcohol began to turn her tipsy - not drunk, just jolly she had told max when he last checked on her.

“where is the weirdest place you’ve had sex?” ria asked, giggling to herself at the rest of the group laughed, turning to face y/n for her answer. she went silent, heat rising her face gradually. her eyes scanned the group, everyone staring expectantly at her - only max avoided her gaze, looking at his phone to queue songs to the playlist.

“i- uh, well i guess i…haven’t?” she replied, wishing the ground would open up and swallow her whole. she didn’t know why she was so embarrassed - she was 19, almost 20, and it seemed that everyone around her was coupled up, or at least active in that department. and, it hadn’t been through lack of trying, every man she had almost been with had found out and used it to get to who she was related to - and subsequently, lando - or gave her the ick before they got the chance to.

“what do you mean you haven’t?!” niran had laughed out, he hadn’t meant to laugh, he just couldn’t believe it.

“i ju-”

“ok can we stop quizzing my little sister on her sex life? please,” max interrupted, y/n sighing out a breath of relief when they finally moved to the next person. her eyes scouted across the group of people, glad to see them all distracted and no longer giving her the sympathy eyes over her pathetic excuse of a love life.

in her embarrassment, however, y/n missed the way lando’s eyes had darted to look at her when she had answered, missing the way they darkened slightly at the revelation. he shook the thoughts plaguing his mind away, focusing on keeping his face neutral as he watched the blush rising her cheeks.

she didn’t miss the way his eyes followed her as she snuck out the room, however. she’d hope no one would notice her sneaking into the kitchen, smiling at P before swiping a bottle of something and heading to the garden, legs landing gracefully to sit on a step.

this was not the first time she had dwelled on this, but this time, she could at least comfort the blow of her overactive brain by drinking - or so she thought. as not a moment after she’d removed the cap, the bottle was being snatched from her hands and closely inspected by a man towering above her crouched body.

“this smells like ass, y/n - are you sure you wanna drink it?” lando asked her, lowering himself to sit on the step next to her. the sky was darkening, stars filling the vast blackness.

“yes im sure, thanks dad,” she mocked him, arms reaching over to snatch the bottle from him, but once again, he moved his arm out, stretching the bottle further from her reach.

“nuh uh!” lando said, shaking his head, “only when you tell me why you intend on drinking what im sure is the finest bottle of… £3.99 vodka - jesus, £3.99?”

“sorry mister ‘owns-2-mclarens-and-a-lambo’,” she replied, leaning further into his side in a desperate bid to get the bottle back - she wasn’t even sure she wanted to drink it anymore, she just wanted something to fiddle with when lando eventually forced her to talk to him.

“didn’t answer my question, darlin’” he told her, placing the bottle besides him as he removed one of his threaded bracelets, placing it in her exposed palm.

oh he knew her a little too well.

“i jus- no it’s so stupid,” she conceded, the bracelet twisting around her fingers. she stared directly at it, refusing to meet lando’s intense gaze.

“bet it’s not,” he told her, moving an arm to wrap around her when he felt the chill air brush his own skin.

“you know what’s worse than having to announce to your friends that you’re a lonely little virgin that no one wants? being the lonely little virgin. it’s so fucking embarrassing - i’m 19, hell i’m nearly 20 and when everyone around you has someone in their life, it’s so hard not to feel so behind in your own life, to feel completely unlovable, to constantly feel like there’s something wrong with you,” she breathed out, still refusing to make eye contact with the man besides her.

lando took in a deep breath, choosing his next words so carefully. his hand reached up to her chin, turning her face to look up at his.

“y/n, you are not unlovable, you’re not falling behind in life and there is certainly nothing wrong with you,” he told her, his tone harsh in attempt to knock some sense into her. she shook her head at him in disbelief, his hand dropping back to his side.

“see, i really want to believe you but the evidence isn’t really stacking up in support of your argument. if that was true, i probably wouldn’t be sat in my brother’s back garden throwing myself a pity party.”

“i think your brother might’ve had a part to play in this, if im honest y/n,” lando said, slipping up slightly. she paused at his words, before her head shot round to look at him again.

“what? what do you mean max has something do with the fact no one wants me?”

“it’s not that no one wants you, y/n,” he sighed at her again before giving in, realising he’d already said too much to stop now, “it’s just that max has a bad habit of… threatening anyone who even mentions you in that way?” he added, his tone making it sound like he wasn’t even sure himself.

“threatening them?” she repeated, anger beginning to bubble up in her stomach.

“he’s only actually hit 2 of them - hell even ive had a close call with his fist a few times,” lando laughed, before realising what he’d indirectly admitted to. luckily, neither of them had time to dwell on it before the man in question popped his head round the door.

“what are you two losers doing out here?” he joked, before sensing some tension being thrown his way, “whatever, we’re leaving in a minute if you wanna get ready?”

“no thanks,” y/n told him, pushing herself up and beginning to walk past him.

“huh?” max replied, confused.

“i said, no thanks. wouldn’t wanna risk you punching anyone who shows the slightest interest in me,” she added, arms crossed over her chest as she glared at him. she turned quickly on her heel, walking off, ignoring the group as she trailed up to the spare bedroom.

the two boys shared a look between them, lando’s face holding that of apology whilst max’s was gradually moving to infuriated.

“what did you tell her?” max asked him, jaw clenching slightly.

“i didn’t mean to,” lando replied, throwing his arms out slightly as he stood up, “i just thought she ought to know that the reason boys don’t go for her is not because she is completely unlovable.”

“she said that?” max asked, startled slightly at the comment, “she thought she was unlovable?”

lando said nothing, throwing a simple nod at him before brushing past him and making his way to the front door.

y/n laid in her bed, her mind racing through the conversation with lando, like a record on repeat. she’d heard the rest of them leave the house almost an hour ago, leaving her to lay with her own thoughts once more.

there was nothing wrong with her, max just threatened anyone who came too close to her.

max had punched 2 guys who had tried to get with her.

max had tried to punch lando - wait, why had he tried to punch lando?

the sound of the front door opening, then quickly shutting again drew her from her thoughts, a natural panic spreading through her veins.

“hello?” she called out, confused as to who could be walking in the house right now. there was no response for a moment, the sound of footsteps climbing the stairs filled the silence.

“it’s just me, baby,” a voice called out, the childhood nickname letting her know it was lando approaching her bedroom. the name used to be max and lando’s attempt to tease the girl, calling her a baby when she cried after dropping her ice cream. that was when she was 7, but 13 years later, the nickname still stuck. somewhere along the line, the name had turned from mimicking to a term of endearment, blurring the lines of their friendship every time he called out to her.

“oh thank god, i thought you were a murderer,” she joked, her breathing easing as his head poked around the door, eyes meeting hers.

“you thought i was a murderer and chose to shout ‘hello’? brave, or stupid?” lando joked back.

“never let them know your next move,” y/n replied with a shrug, before noticing the way one of lando’s hands remained hidden behind the door, “whatcha got there?” she asked him, the way one would ask a dog who had something they shouldn’t.

“depends, are you gonna be nice to me?” he shot back.

“me? im always nice to you, lan,” an innocent smile built on her face.

“tell that to the scar on my back.”

“tell the scar on your back to get over it, it was 10 years ago,” she snorted as he moved further into the door frame.

“no ice cream for you then,” lando replied, smirking at her as he shrugged.

“you got ice cream?” she asked, eyes widening at him.

“thought you might wanna watch a film and forget about tonight with a flurry.”

“gimme,” y/n said, making grabby hands that would’ve been embarrassing had she not already had the worst night of her life.

“nuh uh, not until you’re nice to m-”

“oh get over here you drama queen,” she groaned at him, patting the spot next to her on the bed. lando would never say no to her, giving in so easily as he climbed under the blanket, an arm falling naturally behind her head as he did.

he began fiddling with the tv remote, scrolling through netflix for something to watch. y/n leant further into his embrace, her head settling lightly on his chest as she looked up at him.

“lan - why didn’t you stay at the club?” she asked quietly, fighting the urge to fiddle with her fingers, nervous at the thought of insinuating that he’d want to spend his evening with her instead.

“clubs are only good when you’re drunk,” lando replied with a shrug, eyes still focused on the tv, “id rather just be the designated driver and still be able to get up for training in the morning.”

his eyes flitted down at her quickly, glad she’d returned her gaze to the screen as if he’d seen her wide eyes staring up at him, lando doubted he’d be able to control himself. what she’d revealed earlier still flew around his brain as he fought desperately to shake away any thoughts of taking her innocence, ruining her for anyone else. god, he felt like a creep.

the two fell into a comfortable silence, both of them appearing to focus on the film playing in front of them. lando’s hand remained tightly around her waist, his hand moving beneath her shirt slightly for his fingers to trace circles into her skin. her head remained on his chest, each breath taking in the lingering smell of his aftershave.

“lan?” she broke the silence again, looking up at him once again.

“yes, baby?” he replied, eyes never straying from the screen.

“what did you mean earlier when you said max had even tried to punch you?”

his head shot down to look at her, feeling himself crumble slightly as her eyes stared widely up at him, her tired voice drawing him further into the trap. he could lie, tell her it was a misunderstanding. or he could tell her the truth, and pray it didn’t destroy his entire friendship with the fewtrell siblings.

“when you told me i wasn’t unlovable earlier, you really meant…” she asked, filling in for his silence. she trailed off at the end of her sentence, unwilling to get her hopes up.

“yeah.. so about that,” he said, trying to regain his confidence. she hit at his chest lightly, pushing herself to sit up and look at his face clearer than ever.

“how long?” she asked him with unwavering eye contact.

“longer than i want to admit,” lando replied, smiling at her awkwardly, “and i understand if you don’t fe-”

“kiss me.”

“wha-”

“you heard me,” she told him before joining their lips apprehensively. it started off slow, both testing the waters before falling into a steady pace. his tongue swiped her bottom lip softly, deepening the kiss as his hand raised to hold her jaw. she stifled a moan, embarrassed at the way her body was reacting to the slightest touch.

“don’t get shy on me now, baby,” he told her, hands dropping to her waist, “come ‘ere.”

lando’s hands settled on her hips, fingers gripping at them slightly to guide her onto his lap. as she settled into the new position, he kissed her again, gentle in the way he pulled her in closer, his free hand disappearing under her shirt to draw circles into her skin once more. her hips instinctively rolled into his at the feeling, and he gripped at her skin harder, a small groan escaping his mouth.

“fuck, keep that up and i won’t be able to stop,” he warned her as she rolled her hips again. his head dropped to her jaw, pressing soft kisses along the skin.

“what if i don’t want this to stop?” she asked him, causing him to pause, looking up at her softly.

“are you sure?” he asking, checking her face for any sign of hesitancy. she nodded at him before speaking.

“there’s no one i trust more.”

with her reassurance, lando flipped the top of them over, trailing kisses down her neck as he hovered above her.

“we’ll go slow,” he told her as he pulled at her t-shirt, tugging the fabric up her torso, “wanted this for so long. gonna take my time with you,” he mumbled, pressing soft kisses to the skin of her stomach. her back arched into him slightly, helping him remove her top fully. y/n felt exposed, more so than usual. had it not been for lando’s large hands snaking up to grab at her breasts, she would’ve used her own to shield her nudity.

“so gorgeous,” he mumbled again, before dipping his head to take one of her nipples in his mouth, tongue flicking at it, his fingers tugged at the other. he pushed himself back up, re joining their lips in a sweet kiss.

“gonna make you feel good, alright?” he asked her, watching the way her head nodded at him, “yeah? need you to use your words from now on baby.”

“think you should take your top off now,” she told him, her confidence returning slightly, “seems a bit unfair,” she added, jokingly pointing at her own exposed chest.

“so it is,” he agreed, sitting back on his knees as his hands gripped the bottom of his own t-shirt, lifting it over his head. the material landed on the floor, but y/n couldn’t care less - she was much more focused on the way his muscles looked, a combination of his tan and the soft fairy lights illuminating his features in a way that had her stomach rolling for him.

“oi! my eyes are up here,” he joked, settling himself between her legs. lando’s hands trailed up the exposed skin of her thighs, dragging his fingers slowly. her hips jutted up slightly at the sensation, a satisfied smirking fighting its way onto lando’s face.

“this ok?” he asked her, hands toying with the waistband of her shorts.

“yeah,” she breathed out, anticipation beginning to get the better of her as he began pulling the material away from her heat.

“tell me to stop and i’ll stop,” lando told her, discarding her shorts with his top, before adjusting his gaze to her, “just relax f’me. breathe,” he added, noticing the way her chest had frozen, breath caught in her throat. a finger ran through her folds softly, her hips rolling slightly at the sudden feeling of his rough finger pad circling her clit. his movements stopped for a moment as he moved back up her body, kissing her softly as he gathered her slick along his fingers.

“so wet for me,” he told her, kissing at her jaw, “gonna get you ready for me, ok?”

“please, lan,” she begged, panting slightly as his fingers circled her heat again, pressing into her slightly. it’s not like she hadn’t done this before on herself, which was potentially her downfall the moment he pressed a finger into her, the stretch unexpected. lando’s face pressed into her neck, kissing a trail along the skin as he pumped his finger a few times. he could hear every noise she made for him so clearly, drawing him to push a second finger into her, feeling the way her walls clamped around him.

“im ready, lan, please just fuck me,” she begged him, panting in between her words. he could’ve passed out her words, blood rushing from his brain and straight to his cock. his body pushed back up, standing quickly to remove the rest of his clothes. her hands halted him as they reached out and grabbed at the waist band of his joggers, pulling them down slowly as the pressure of his cock strained against the tight material. he helped her remove them fully, her spare hand adding difficulty as she palmed him through his boxers.

“fuck, angel,” he groaned, careful not to overwhelm her as she pulled at his boxers, tugging them down as she had his joggers. however they soon established his noises were not as overwhelming as the size of his cock - her eyes widening as she came face to face with it, her finger running down the thick vein that travelled his length.

“like what you see?” he joked in attempt to ease her nerves.

“how-? is that gonna fit?” she stuttered, gaze travelling down to her stomach as if she were trying to size herself up.

“im sure we’ll make it work,” he replied, hand reaching to her chin, forcing her to look back up at him, “remember, we can stop whenever.”

she nodded at him, before reaching up, looping her arms around his neck to pull him into a kiss. he used the leverage to lay her back down, hovering over her once again as he rested on his forearm. without breaking the kiss, he reached down, guiding his cock through her folds a few times before settling the tip at her entrance.

“you sure?” lando checked again, searching her face for any last minute apprehension.

“are you sure?” she retorted, her smile illuminated by the moons glow, “can’t imagine fucking a virgin is high on your bucket list.”

“you’d be surprised,” he responded, mumbling slightly, his cock throbbed in his hand. he began lowering his hips, pushing into her slowly, low grunts falling from his lips as he disappeared further inside her.

“breathe baby, breathe for me,” he told her, feeling the way her body had tensed, her chest stilling as she inhaled deeply, “feel so good.”

lando waited a moment, watching the way her face softened, his necklace dangling dangerously around her lips. he started moving at a gentle pace, careful to listen to her responses.

“feels good,” she told him, eyes looking into his.

“yeah? ‘my the first person to make you feel good?” he asked, baiting her slightly.

“yes, fuck lan. only you.”

he close to lost it, his brain short circuiting at her words. he began to move faster in her, relishing in the way she moaned his name, her walls contracting around his cock. his hand reached between the two of them, fingers flicking at her clit before drawing pressured circles around her heat.

“faster, lan, please,” y/n begged him, her hand raising to tug at his curls.

“gonna ruin you for anyone else, angel,” he grunted, hips snapping into hers at a brutal pace, his eyes focused on the way her breasts moved in unison with his thrusts.

lando felt his high coming quicker than he could ever remember, feeling the way her grip on his bicep tightened and her breathing became more sporadic letting him know she was close too.

“you wanna cum with me?” he asked her, his tone soft whilst his pace remained rough, his fingers beginning to trace his own name on her clit. it gave him a sense of ownership over her, an invisible trace of him that would linger on her sensitivity forever - and she loved it, whining at the feeling of his skin on hers.

“please, fuck. wanna cum,” she told him, eyes shutting as her head rolled back. lando’s head dropped to her exposed neck, his teeth nipping at the skin before he titled his head further, mouth landing on the flesh of her breast. he’d quickly realised that leaving visible mark on his best friends little sister was potentially not the smartest idea, choosing to nip at the skin of her tit, mouth sucking the flesh into his lips as he did. his raised himself up again, admiring the way blood ran to the surface of her skin, only imagining the way she’d look when a bruise formed on the spot.

“only me?” he asked her, hand moving to grip her jaw, dark eyes locking with hers.

“only you,” she replied in a breathless moan.

“good girl,” he said, feeling the way her hips rolled up into his, heat running through her entire body as her climax washed over her. y/n shook around him lightly, her stomach spasming as she rode out her high, but lando couldn’t stop and admire the view. he pulled out quickly, feeling his own high rising in his cock, both of their eyes glued on the way his cock shot out ropes of cum that landed on her stomach.

“so….” she started, trying to fill the somewhat awkward tension in the room.

“we are so doing that again,” he said with a chuckle and he moved to locate his joggers on the floor.

“oh absolutely,” she replied, laughing with him as the fear of him leaving her washed away, though her eyebrow quirked up at him as he shuffled to the door.

“just grabbing a cloth. gotta get you cleaned up so we can finish the film,” he added with a smile.

minutes later, they were both sat back in the bed, her legs thrown over his lap as one hand grazed the skin of his back lightly, lando’s hand running up and down her thigh in a similar fashion. they sat in a comfortable silence, knowing that eventually they would need to discuss the future of this, the future of them, but for now lando relished in the way her hand continuously stroked at the same spot on his back. the same spot - he internally questioned.

“watcha doing?” he finally asked, curious to her supposed fixation on his left shoulder blade.

“apologising to the scar on your back?” she retorted, circling back to their earlier conversation.

“never apologise for anything ever again,” he mumbled into her hair, before pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“what if i murdered your entire family?” she piped up.

“i support women’s rights and their wrongs.”

“preach.”

-

✧ inbox/requests are open ✧

[muntitled]

Better Than Drugs

Pairings: Namgyu x Fem!Reader | Brief!Thanos x Fem!Reader

Summary: Reconnecting with your shitty ex boyfriend in the games.

Warnings: Language, Substance Abuse, Toxic Relationship, Male Manipulation, Coercion, Smut (+18) mdni, High sex, Dub/con, Choking, Exchange of Bodily Fluids, Unprotected Sex, Unedited (we die like soldiers)

A/n: literally no one will read this but I need him and I wrote this for me!

Being treated like a lamb being led to the proverbial slaughter in a death game sucked ass but seeing your ex boyfriend there sucked even more, somehow. From your vantage point perched on your bed tucked away from all the central conflict, you notice them talking about you again.

Call it past bully traum but you knew when people were talking about you and although you couldn't make out what they were saying, a part of you just knew...

Another vote had ended and Namgyu was still staring at you, his head bowed, chewing his fingernails. He was watching you, while you were forced to watch as democracy crumbled around you.

Your brain made you think Namgyu was perhaps berating you in front of his new friend. Bad-mouthing you to absolutely no end, perhaps saying what a lousy, uptight girlfriend you had been in the outside world. How you kept him from his habit. How you tried to force him into rehab countless times.

And so you shrink into yourself, squeezing yourself further into your bed, hugging your knees.

How were you supposed to know the conversation went nothing like how you thought it was going?

"We need to get her on our team," Thanos had said when the voting concluded and they were watching you pick at your roll of tin-foiled kimbap.

"She's already on our team," Namgyu muttered, more quiet than usual as he watched you through the corner of his eye. He didn't feel like eating. He felt like doing drugs. And fucking, maybe, but eating? It never occurred to him.

Without you to remind him to eat, and to actually take care of his bodily health outside of his substance abuse, he really was a mess.

"Oh yeah," Thanos muttered dumbly before turning back to his own food, "Kay, well, I need to sleep with her."

Namgyu didn't even look up from his food, still leaning against the metal beds as he murmured a quiet, "Nope." Popping his lip, extenuating the 'p'

Thanos himself was rallied into silence as Namgyu casually clicked his tongue before adding, "I called dibs on that bro," he steals another glance. You're searching your chest for a piece of cucumber that's fallen out of the kimbap

This unfortunately, zeroes his gaze in on your ample chest, miraculously squeezed into that tracksuit jacket. Now Namgyu was thinking about your tits while Thanos' head whips to the side, his brow lifted.

Namgyu couldn't take his eyes off you since the games began. Watching you during voting time had stirred up all kinds of lost emotions. The easy and almost thoughtless way you had pressed the blue button before tucking your hands in your pockets, never sparing anyone a second glance. He had to adjust the bulge forming in his sweatpant. If it weren't for him you might have continued to go amongst the games as an anonymous spectre, with that cash prize as your only goal.

"I didn't know we were calling dibs!?" Thanos stomped his feet petulantly, "That's not fair, man. Not. Cool."

"That's the point of dibs," Namgyu said, pushing his hair behind his ears as he continued to stare you down. "Who knows how long we'll be here?" As he watched you, he tilted his head downwards, causing a thick shadow to fall over his eyes as he watched you. He leaned against the railings of the metal beds piled up to the ceiling, watching you tuck your hands deeper into the sleeves of your sweater. Really fucking cute.

"B-But Homies don't call dibs on girls!" Thanos whines.

"Yeah," Namgyu nods, "but, I'm gonna need more than magic pills and a homie to get me through the night," He made a ring with his index and thumb finger, pinching his one eye shut as he spied at you through it, "She can help,”

Thanos was quiet, eerily so. Good things never happened when Thanos was quiet,

"Let's go over to her right now then. Since she's stealing my homie-"

That immediately snapped Namgyu out of his lust-filled gaze, promoting his shoulders to straighten as he tried to stop Thanos from taking another step towards you.

"Senorita-" he said in a singsong voice and you rolled your eyes as you saw them approaching. Namgyu walked behind like the shadow he always tried to be, with his hands tucked in his pocket. Your bed is relatively low to the ground and your heart stammered when both their shadows fell over you.

"Don't have any change," your eyes whipped to your ex-boyfriend before narrowing, "Or drugs. Sorry." you mustered a painfully sarcastic smile as you attempted to turn in another direction, hoping they might take the hint.

Thanos' teeth stretched as Namgyu swallowed thickly, watching you in that distinctly predatory way of his as he propped his forearm against the railing of the bed. You hate how both of them make you feel and your eye scans in vain around the premises, hoping someone might save you from the duo.

"Lemme make this quick," Thanos said with his drug addicted hand gestures. "My bro wants you and whatever bro wants-" he taps Namgyu's chest behind you- "Bro gets."

Silence passed with you staring deep into Namgyu's dark, almost sinister black eyes. You admitted that you were still painfully attracted to him. Knowing that he knows your body. He's already seen what hid under your blue tracksuit, it was dizzyingly sobering.

He still seemed so devastatingly sleezy it bordered on attractive, like he didn't care about what anyone really thought of him. It still brought an uncomfortable amount of attraction that you didn't really know what to do with. "No thanks," you said, bending your head to take a bite of the kimbap.

"Cunt." you heard him mumble under his breath. That caused your head whip up to glare at him.

"I'm a cunt because I'd rather not fuck a drug addict?"

"No," Namgyu shrugged, "You're just a cunt."

Your nostrils flared as something diabolical ignited inside you. Up until this point, fear had been the only emotion you allowed yourself to feel. The fear of dying to keep you alive. But right now, you're being plagued with another emotion and it's setting you alight with interest.

Your dating preferences were never orthodox. You knew you could never truly be satisfied with any other timid nice guy, and that's what drew you to him. You hated admitting to it but Namgyu calling you a cunt did more than irritate you, it ignited you.

"I'm not here to make friends,” You marvel now, in the tense darkness, how confident you had been then.

“How about a boyfriend then?” Namgyu asked and Thanos whistled lowly as he mutters a ‘nice bro,’

“How about choking?” You shot back, “I tried the boyfriend thing and he stole all my savings to buy drugs.” Namgyu’s jaw ticked and you can see his fist fold and unfold. Thanos’ commentary continues. ‘Shit boyfriend-’ he says under his breath.

“Don't be a bitch so early in the morning…” Namgyu says finally before turning his head, somewhat distracted, “Or at least I think it's morning. Hyung do you think it's morning-”

Thanos raised his hands, “Morning is what we make it in here, bro.”

“Leave me alone of I'll fucking scream.” you cut through all their useless chatter, letting a tense silence settle between the three of you. Eventually, Thanos reluctantly pulls Namgyu away. Murmuring a quiet ‘just take a hint bro.'

Soon, you were left in your bed but not without one more backwards glance from Namgyu over his shoulder. He wasn't done with you and that thought sat heavily on your shoulders until the robotic voice from unseen speakers made the countdown to lights out.

The very last thing you remembered, before the overhead lights were snuffed out, was his black, almond eyes still watching you from his bed.

The blue 'O' velcroed to your breast burns a hole through your conscience as your eyes flutter open in the middle of the night, really needing to pee. The prize money acts as the only source of gold light illuminating the hall while everyone else remains soundly asleep.

Life in the games was so much more stomachable during the day, but when the lights went out, you were forced to sit with your thoughts. That piggy bank didn't have money inside it, it held bodies, and the ghosts practically filled this room.

Still, you can't help but whisper to yourself, “I really have to pee.” The only thing stopping you from going to the bathroom is the gaze you knew would somehow find you from three beds over. Your ex boyfriend watches you, even when the lights go out.

Paranoia be damned.

Cursing softly, you maneuvered yourself to the ground. Trying to make the least amount of noise possible as you moved through the row of beds.

If you were being followed you'd never know. Everything was too dark but a part of you sighed as you reached the small arched doorway completely unscathed.

Almost unscathed.

Your heart hammers in its cage when you feel his heavy arm settle over your shoulders. Your mouth falls open but Namgyu is already banging on the arched door with a closed fist. You flinch with every loud, metallic hit.

The little window opens to reveal a triangle-masked soldier. He stands there emotionless.

“My girlfriend's on her period- she's bleeding everywhere. We need the bathroom.”

There is silence from the Guard who is clearly unimpressed. Just before the little window is about to slide shut Namgyu kicks at the door, “Hey! I wanna fuck my girl- if you want, we could do it out here?!”

You try to wrench yourself out of his grip, toilet be damned but your heart absolutely sinks to find the pink soldier opening the metal door.

Namgyu only twirls, pumping his fist before pulling you in his arms, biting back a smile.

“Can't believe that worked,” Namgyu says, with a raised eyebrow and a happy little shrug as he drags you across the threshold. The trip to the women's bathroom is relatively short as you writhe and fight in his hands. There's virtually no reason for the pink guard to think any of this was consensual but they kept their stoicism on their face as you reached the girl's bathroom.

“We'll be quick,” Namgyu assures the guard with a tight sort of smile before pushing you into the bathroom, and closing the door after himself.

You trip on your way running into one of the stalls and he watches you, biting his nail.

“This is the girls bathroom, or are you too high to notice?” You hiss absolute venom as he bites his fingernail.

“Nah, I'm sober right now, which means I need something to take the load off.”

“Cool. Use your hand,” you sigh from within the stalls before dropping your pants to pee. It irked you that he was standing there, on the other side… waiting for you.

You make quick work of it all. Wiping, flushing, and making a beeline for the sinks. He lets you wash your hands but before you make it to the door his arms are wrapped around your waist.

“Uh Uh,” he tsks, “No ‘i miss you’ kiss, huh?” He drags you into his arms, kicking and screaming as he swipes your brains from across your panicked face.

“Only competent boyfriends get kisses,” Despite the fuss, the door doesn't open. Those guards have quite literally abandoned you in here to fend for yourself.

“I can make it up to you,” he said, “I miss you really bad, baby,” Namgyu's pushing your back against the sink, stained with that sickening, pastel colour as he lowers his nose into the crook of your neck. You writhe as he breathes you in deeply, before sighing. His erection pressed against your thigh.

“Someone else could walk in here,” you cry, feeling a dampness seep out of you, wetting your underwear. Your body was being traitorous because it was enjoying feeling anything other than fear. It yearned for it.

“Sto-” you attempt to catch your breath as he gropes at your breasts from over your tracksuit. “Stop touching me-” you say despite your legs getting weaker and weaker.

“You don't get to touch me anymore. You lost that privilege when you stopped being my boyfriend.” He was so much taller than you when he stretched his hand across your cheeks, forcing your neck back to make more space for his lips. A moan nearly spills out of you.

His hands are trembling and his tongue swipes out to lick the length of your neck. To your shock and horror, you melt in his grasp.

“You don't mean that-” he whispers against your skin. “No one's gonna fuck you like I do-”

“No one's going to steal my money like you do either-”

His hand flies down to your throat, choking as he says through clenched teeth, “I told you I had a problem-” he squeezes and for the briefest moment, you see stars. “I needed help and you abandoned me, you bitch-”

“I didn't abandon you-” His lips are on yours, silencing you in one messy kiss that him forcing his tongue into your mouth.

“You gonna be good for me, Huh?’ He says, hoarsely, your eyes glare up at him.

“Leave me alone-”

“You know I love it when you try to fight back,” his mouth breathes against your hair, “You trying to get me riled up babe, huh?”

His fingers find the lining of your own sweatpants and your heart stammers as he turns to push your front against the sink. Your hand grips at the cheap plaster and you avoid your own traitorous reflection in the mirror, lest you find not only fear in your eyes, but lust

“You know how bad I've needed this- fuck,” his voice cracks when fumbles his cock out, grinding against your ass with his eyes closed in ecstasy and his mouth hanging open. Your finger curls around the sink as the first moan slips out of you. It had his eyes flying open to look down at you in amusement and awe.

“I knew you weren't a completely stuck-up bitch,” he says, pulling you up by the base of the throat, “I knew you still wanted me.”

“I don't,” you squeak out as he pulls down your pants.

“No- but your body does,” he swipes your underwear to the side.

Your body spasms as he roughly sinks his digits into you once before pulling out.

“You miss me real bad,” he brings your fingers up in front of your face and your heart drops to find the arousal webbing his index and middle.

He continues to swipe your arousal from from your ass to your puffy clit and the need wracks through your entire body, building as you arched your ass backwards against him.

His mouth is by your ear, breathing heavily as he lines his cock up at your entrance, already leaking precum, “I know I gave you hell when we were out there-”

“Hell doesn't begin to cover- FUCK-” he rams his cock into you. Positively brimming with need as his hips stutter against you.

“Y-ou stole my fucking savings for drugs-” you get the sentence out quickly before moaning into the air, as your boyfriend fucks out all the frustration he's been carrying, all the need and the withdrawal.

“And I ate you out as an apology-” He reaches his hand around to clamp down on the base of your throat. Your mouth falls open when he cranes our neck back, his eyes boring into yours. “Don't you miss it baby, don't miss having me inside of you?”

“Y-Your eyes are diluted-” you begin to say, utterly incredulous. “You're high right now!”

His hips thrusts in shallow, quick strokes. “And your pussy's wet, guess we're both fucked.”

Your pussy tightens around him like a long lost friend, it knocks you out how deeply you've craved him. Needing reprieve from all the fear. “You're squeezing around my cock, you fucking slut-” that nearly has you seeing stars. Your body spasms.

“That it…” he whispers, “Don't think I haven't forgotten the way you abandoned me out there… But in here,” your eyes roll to the back of your head, “You dont so much as fucking breathe without my permission.”

Your eyes squeeze shut as his cock hits that particular pillow of nerves inside you, nearly flipping you off the edge.

“Spit on my hand,” he says, an edge to his voice that let you know he was far too close. You forgot how messy things got when you had sex with him. How much of a mess he made of you.

You do it without thinking about it and his eyes widen as he presses that same hand to your clit.

“F-Fuck!” Your eyes are squeezed shut as he reaches around to rub you to your orgasm. His movements only fumble when his hips start stuttering.

“N-Need you to cum for me-” he breathes out. “I’m jittery- baby. I need it- shit-” you slip into your orgasm right in front of him, milking his cock for all its worth. “F-Fuck this is so much better than drugs,” he murmers, eyes rolled back as a drunken smile ghosts over his face. He's in complete and utter euphoria.

Two rough knocks on the door signal the need for your return but Namgyu's cock is still spilling ropes of his cum inside you and you're doing nothing but taking it.

“I hate you,” you breathe out, because it's true. If it weren't for him you wouldn't be here.

His breath is warm against your neck as he says, “I love you too.

[tender-rosiey]

smack, smack — gojo satoru x f!reader

a/n: special thanks to the beautiful @stinkyme for inspiring me to actually write this and for fangirling over the idea with me <3

gojo satoru, like any dad, got his fair share of ‘bullying’ from his daughter, his 5 months old baby.

some dads get peed on, others get their hair pulled, and others get their nose bitten on the daily. it's a little something to make them suffer a bit like the mothers had to during the pregnancy.

your husband, however, is always getting smacked in the face whenever he has his blindfold on, and I mean harshly smacked in the face and unforgiving scratching.

the first time it happened was when he was going to school. he was ready, uniform on and everything, but he simply had to say goodbye to his two girls.

skipping to your shared bedroom, he placed two big smooches on your face. then, after much of pulling him off you, he went to smooch his little girl. a big unmatched grin was on his face as he looked down at her in her crib.

he picked her up, cooing softly at her, “what a pretty girl, just as pretty as your mama, huh?”

satoru then laid her gently against his chest and started rocking her softly, while humming. after a while, he felt her stir a little in his arms. she sleepily looks up at him, and he smiles down at her, “good morning, baby—“

now, your daughter was used to seeing her dad without the blindfold. she was used to getting met by her dad's bright blue eyes.

so when a strange unknown man was holding her up instead of her papa, she started wailing and screaming, repeatedly smacking him in the face.

whenever her little—strong—hand landed on the blindfold, she would try to pull it off with all her baby might. you scrambled out of your bed at the loud screeches and screams of both your husband and your daughter.

you saw how satoru was desperately trying to, as gently as possible, make her release her grip. you stumbled on your words, before yelling, “your blindfold! take off your blindfold off!”

“I! am! trying!” he yelps as she continues slapping the hell out of his face.

you hurry and take his blindfold off, swiftly throwing it to the side. he started rocking her, smiling despite the red marks and scratches all over his handsome face, “it’s me, daddy! you see me?”

almost magically, your daughter calmed down in an instant with the occasional hiccup from her previous crying. he smiled, “there you go; that’s my girl.”

she gently made grabby hands at him, and he quickly pulled her back into his chest. your daughter instantly snuggled into his shoulder and hid her face in his neck.

you stared at him for a moment, “well, at least we know that she bloody hates that blindfold.”

it honestly kind of adds up.

you remember the many times that your daughter was generally distressed or fussy and instantly calmed down when she saw her dad’s eyes. you also remember that one time your daughter was actually zoning out while looking at satoru’s eyes, her own safe place.

satoru chuckles with a shrug, “I have you as my savior, anyway.”

“you can’t always count on me to be the one to save you from our daughter’s monstrously strong grip.”

and he can’t.

no one is brave enough to try and to fight back a baby, let alone the strongest sorcerer’s baby.

that attack happens way more than satoru would like. for example, whenever you’re busy, he takes his little princess to the school with him. in general, everyone helps in taking care of the little angel (devil in some cases).

however, god forbid she sees satoru coming back from a mission with his blindfold on.

it took some time for your husband to learn his lesson and immediately take his blindfold off before he entered the school. until then, he was prone to his daughter’s crazy strong hand smacking his face till his entire face is painted red and not the cute kind.

satoru never believed in his students to save him, except for yuuji. the first time it happened around the students, most of them were either laughing or speechless.

yuuji did try to save his sensei from his smacking machine of a daughter, but ended up getting smacked himself.

your husband did hope that, maybe, nanami’s heart would soften, and he would finally help him.

nanami’s heart did soften, just not for satoru. instead, your daughter now has a special soft spot in nanami’s heart, as he did in hers, but that isn’t our topic for today.

the amount of times you would enter the room to find nanami chuckling or smiling at your husband getting beaten to a pulp by your baby. satoru could be sobbing, “nanami, please! save me!”

and nanami would simply smile—sadistically—and hum, “I don’t think I will.”

you’re pretty sure that nanami believes this is god’s way of punishing your husband for all the mischief he caused.

ignoring that, it grips your heart how satoru’s face would brighten up the moment he saw you. he would run up to you, giving you the baby to calm her down while he gives his face a rest.

and your little girl was smiling and giving you her version of cheek kisses.

your husband recovered quickly though, and took her back, his blindfold finally off. he doesn’t do it without pecking your lips though, “my savior.”     

then he gets lost in his own world with his little girl, and their laughs and giggles filled the room. her hands were gently holding her dad’s face as she squeals, and satoru’s heart soars as he forgets about his beating from a moment ago.

now, that doesn’t mean that his dear students don’t make fun of him for always losing against his little girl. during one of the recent teasings, he simply huffed, “you never tried the grip of a baby! tell them, yuuji!”

yuuji shudders as he remembers how long the slap mark lasted, “she is one hell of a strong baby.”

it’s one thing for panda and nobara to laugh, it’s another for megumi and maki to do so as well. your husband’s ego simply couldn’t take it anymore. he took his baby in his arms and gathered the baby bags, sparing one last glance at his ‘bullies’.

and so your husband dramatically exits the room, “I need my wife! I can’t with you people anymore!”

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[wallflowergirl2006]

Forced Heat [Fem Chubby Bunny Reader] {Smut + Fluff}

Image from Pinterest by: Ti✦na

CW: Breeding

Not Proofread

You're a bunny hybrid, the last of your kind and through the time in imprisonment in this laboratory you were cautious of everything that did. The food they gave you, the stares, the tests. Everything freaked you out. It took a long while for you to get used to your new living conditions. The scientist in charge made sure to give you a habitat that suited to your needs instead of putting you in a cell since you were the last of your species so they made sure to take extra special care of you. So why did they think to pair you with a predator species? That was the last thing you wanted and apparently he felt the same way. “Why am I paired up with this inferior creature?” The wolf hybrid snarled at the scientist. You could only frown at his harsh words. His words stung just because you were a prey species doesn’t mean you are less important than the predators. “We are trying to see if you two are compatible Matias. Don’t make this any harder than it has to be.” One of the scientists warned him. Matias huffs in annoyance as he stares at you.

He sits down on the opposite of you in the tiny cell they put both of you in. “So what’s special that they had to pair me up with a small and chubby thing like you?” Matias said as he scrutinized you harshly. “Beats me.. I don’t want to be here any more than you do so please can we get this done.” You tried extending an olive branch to him. “Fine but we somehow are compatible enough to be mates. I don't want to hear any complaints from you.” Matias said with harsh glare. “So what’s your name, little bunny?” “[Y/N], My name is [Y/N]..” You told him with an unreadable expression. “[Y/N]” He took a second to digest the information. “It seems to fit you nicely. Yeah, I like that name.” Matias said as his lips slightly twitched upwards. Your eyes raked over his body. He was fit and lean, he didn’t have too much muscle which was good but he also had a lot of scars. “I’m guessing you're a warrior? Judging from your scars.” You asked him with curiosity. His gaze seemed to harden once you spoke about his scars. Your eyes widen in slight panic from his reaction. Matias then let out a sigh. “Yes, I was one of the warriors of my clan. All my scars came from different battles.” He informed you. As he starts to ramble about his scars you choose to get closer to him. He continued to talk and talk until you made it to the other side and sat beside him.

You then grabbed his hand and when you did that seemed to grab his attention. You pressed soft kisses to his scarred hand. You could feel him tense up but he didn’t pull his hand away. A soft ding noise echoed through the room. The scientists then entered the room with clipboards in hand. “Congrats you two. You both are compatible to be mates.” One of the male scientists with a sly smirk. Matias wrapped an arm around your plush waist signaling the male scientist to watch his words. “Alright, I see you're already getting protective of her.” He said with a chuckle. “Alright, guards take them back to their rooms.” The other scientist called for the guards.As the guards escorted both you and Matias back to your room you gave him a small reassuring smile. He saw it and couldn’t help but smile back. 

As time went on the scientist found that you and Matias were the best fit for each well and mostly because once two hybrids mate they won’t be compatible with anyone else. So one day they decided to do a specific test only with you and not Matias. “It’s just some medicine [Y/N] relax.” The scientist said in a reassuring tone as she held up a syringe. Although it didn’t look like medicine, you'd rather obey than go without dinner again. So you lifted your arm and let them stick the needle inside of you. They injected  the “medicine” and it didn’t seem to take effect immediately you sighed thankfully. You were free to go back to your room but as you were escorted back to your room you couldn’t help but feel your body heat up.

Whatever they gave you it made you go into your heat faster than anticipated so you were humping anything you got your hands on.. Anything to make the aching feeling in your cunt go away but nothing seemed to be working.  You whined in pain as you humped the pillow that was drenched in your slick. “Get her mate, we have enough data and she looks like she needs him.” One of the scientists told the guards. Soon you heard the door to your habitat open and you saw your mate and he looked beyond worried. “Pumpkin, I’m so sorry.. Here let me help you.” Matias said as he unzipped his pants and freed his cock. He took the pillow away from you and flipped you onto your back. He positions you into a mating press as he aligns his cock into your dripping sex. He hissed as he pushed himself into you. You could only groan as you wrapped your legs around him to pull him in deeper. Once fully inside you he started at a slow pace but then gradually sped up. “Gonna give you some pups but first gotta take care of my baby.” He cooed as he kissed your soft plump cheek. “God my baby is so perfect..” Matias whined as he felt you clench around him. “Focus on my cock honey, focus on how it fills you nicely and perfectly.” He encouraged you as he thrusted roughly instead of you causing you to cry out in pleasure. The sound of other hybrids in contaminate cheered Matias on as he continued to help you with your forced heat cycle.

Matias feels you tighten around him, he bites back a groan and he thrusts one last time before he paints your walls white, he orgasm triggers your own and you moan out his name as you creamed around his knotted cock. You start to whine as you feel the base of his cock start to swell inside of you. ”I know.. I know sweetheart this is just to help you a little bit more.” He reassured you as he nuzzled his face into your hair as he inhaled your sweet scent. Your body trembles as it slowly gets used to the stretch. After a few mins Matias’s knot swells down and he pulls out of you. You sighed in content as you felt his strong arms wrap around your chubby body. You felt him rub his hand over your chubby tummy. “Can’t wait to see your belly swell up with our pups.” He said affectionately as looked into your eyes. “I’ll protect you and our babies. I promise my love.” He said as he pressed his lips against yours. “I love you” He whispers against your lips.

Image from Pinterest by: Grafik Dizayn

[rockingbytheseaside]

Hey! Gosh I love your fics, you are so talented! <3 I have a request after your latest fic haha. The sentences 'It's only a matter of time before he accidentally slips and calls you his spouse in front of people.' would be the perfect plot, actually. When and how would the Harbingers calls their s/o 'their wife' in front of others first time? If you don't like it, you don't have to do it! i hope you have an awesome day!

(hehe, yes, accidentally… mmm. Enjoy!)

✦ They accidentally call you their spouse 

Pierro, Capitano, Dottore, Pantalone, Tartaglia

It was a complete and utter accident; just a harmless slip of the tongue. One moment, your beloved was politely introducing you to some of his Fatui subordinates, the other he inadvertently referred to you as “my spouse” in front of others. It would've been a sweet moment of shared laughter, were it not spoken in front of so many people of the Fatui. It’s not like your beloved’s subordinates would start correcting him, he's a Harbinger after all… now how would you navigate this awkward situation? 

✧ The ever-cold and calculating Pierro prevents any mistakes from slipping past him. Yet here he is, standing composed next to you as he gently gestures to you and claims:

“From here on out, my spouse shall reside in the Zapolyarny Palace and I expect all obedience to be directed towards them.” 

You went silent. The servants went silent. Even he went silent. You carefully murmured to him:

“... Pierro, dear. We are not married.” 

Somehow the Jester remained blank, as if the error of his brain eluded him. Or perhaps, he realized it was too late to reprimand his mistake, especially in front of the royal servants of the palace. He simply cleared his throat and nodded woefully: “Indeed, we aren't. My apologies.” 

The hushed murmurs of The Director’s “innocent mistake” spread soundlessly like an inside secret within the Palace's walls. It wasn't news that the Jester adored you, but to witness the typically collected Pierro clear his throat bashfully, while you stood there timidly after correcting his mistake was endearing. 

These rumors, of course, reached the ears of the 3rd of the Fatui Harbingers’ ears, Columbina. Such tales were her delight, a personal pastime, relishing the timid nature of your private relationship with Pierro. She just had to tease you two by reminding him of the incident. Thus, one day, she approached The Jester in his office on an inconspicuous day and asked:

“Oh, cheer up, Director. It's been months since your last mishap. Surely you wouldn't let your composure shatter in front of the one you call beloved so easily?”

“You are correct,” - Pierro replied to the Dove calmly. “It was a mistake. Hence, I amended it and made sure it's no longer an issue.”

That’s when Columbina’s gaze drifted to his hands, where he was not leisurely adjusting his cuffs but subtly displaying an ornament on his ring finger. His engagement ring. If the 3rd Harbinger could open her enigmatic eyes, she would stare absolutely wide-eyed and dumbfounded through her white ribbons. When the hell did he get engaged-?!

“Pierro, dear,” - you suddenly stepped in, that same embarrassed interjection escaping you “Please stop boasting about our engagement. We haven't made it official yet.” 

✧ The poor Fatui soldier under Il Capitano's recruit stood stiffly looking at their Harbinger. Was it dread or the web of discomfort one feels when seeing a couple argue over something entirely beyond their input? Because that's certainly what the current Fatui skirmisher felt when standing between you and Il Capitano. 

“I can't allow this, Capitano,” – you huffed, your head shaking in dismay. “You over-dedicate yourself in battles.” 

“We went over this, my cherished. I have to, it is my duty as the Captain. Not just for the Fatui’s sake, but for your own safety as well!” 

“No, no,” – you clicked your tongue. “Don’t give me that. You know that's not the issue… the issue is that you overwork yourself by beating everyone in a duel and not leaving me anything else to defeat! What am I supposed to do?!”

“But my beloved-!” 

That's how your lover's quarrel underwent, and the Fatui Skirmishers that kept blinking in disbelief, stood helpless as the argument ping-ponged between ‘who gets to defeat more enemies on the battlefield’. Finally, your beloved spoke with an irritated huff at your scolding:

“Well, did you perhaps consider that I do not wish for my spouse to overextend themselves and get recklessly injured over some personal records?”

“Oh, so now you-... What did you just call me?” 

The sudden realization caused a deafening silence between you and Capitano like a blade poised to strike. His pitch-black visage did not help to decipher whether he was grappling with his mistake or masking his shock. You insisted: “Capitano, what did you just call-”

“I did not say anything.” 

“You did, you…Hey-! Don't turn your back on me, come back here!” 

Perhaps The 1st of the Fatui Harbingers does not flee from a challenge like a pathetic coward. However, today was a great chance to use a tactful retreat, to put it softly, all in the hopes of escaping your wrath. How else would he explain his mishaps of calling you his ‘spouse’ so casually? If he confessed that he thought “it sounds so befitting for my one and only” he might as well just reveal every tender plan of a quiet life with you. And he can't have you teasing his affection for a domestic life alongside you. 

For now, fleeing was a wise and honorable choice, especially when you are ready to duel him any moment now.

✧ It was another one of those days in Il Dottore's lab. His fingers tap the surface of the table, chin resting on his palm, while a pen balanced precariously behind his ear. Delegating his final tasks for today, he supervised some final organizational matters in the lab while addressing some lab assistants with his usual air of nonchalant authority.

“Ensure all the surgical sets are properly sanitized and checked in the ultrasonic cleaner. I expect them neatly arranged by day’s end. My spouse prefers the equipment organized this way.”

One of the lab assistants stopped in their tracks, staring at him. 

“And don't inform them how some glassware shattered today. It would be irrelevant for them to worry…”

Mumbling to himself, Dottore only now realized that his lab assistants fell eerily silent, staying motionless as they blinked at him. Humming in confusion, he turned his attention at last, only to realize these unfortunate listeners were not gawing at him, but rather someone behind him.

Lo and behold, you stood there, behind him.

With a hand on your hip, you inquired with deceptive simplicity: “Oh? You have a spouse, dear?”

He pretends he wasn't aware of the conundrum and the absurdity of his slip-up. But even with his eyes covered behind that smooth black mask covering his eyes, you can see the haughty expression on his lips. Thus, he crossed his arms.

“Hm, Perhaps. You could say I do.”

“Then my condolences to your spouse. They must have the patience of a saint.”

The Doctor’s assistant had to repress their little chuckles. The tense atmosphere of the laboratory would always be dismissed with your ease, as you’d knowingly nod to Dottore’s colleagues and allow them to leave you two alone. Not even Dottore’s stern attitude would interfere otherwise, even if he tried to conceal his flustered composure at your mere words: “Well perhaps they are a saint, but also a handful for me to deal with.”

“Well, your hypothetical spouse is telling you it's late already and you should take a break for today.”

Conceding to your playful banter, The harbinger’s shoulders loosened up, a rare smile gracing him as he followed you with a wrapped arm around your shoulder. Your victory is marked by your knowing smile and Dottore would not object or conceal his infatuation by referring to you as his spouse. Even if he denies the marital titles as nothing but superficial formalities, he’d walk with you back to your shared personal quarters mumbling:

“Spouse’s orders it is, then.”

✧ It happened during a busy moment when Pantalone and you were at a tailor shop. After much persuasion that lasted weeks, your beloved succeeded at finally dragging you to a luxurious tailoring workshop, where store attendants welcomed you both and helped take your measurements with utter refinement and class.

You stood still with your arms extended, while the attendants did their swift duty with a measuring tape. In the mirror’s reflection before you, you caught sight of Pantalone standing a few steps away, his hand resting thoughtfully against his chin.

“Perhaps an elegant new blazer, white with golden accents?”

You remained still, looking absent-mindedly at the array of fabrics on display. “Dear, there is no need for every piece of clothing to look like it was made for a soirée. I am perfectly fine with a casual cotton blazer.”

The shop attendant closest to you stepped close with some swatches of fabrics to choose from, offering a polite smile. However, Pantalone had to shake his head and charmingly declare – “Oh, nonsense, my spouse deserves only the highest quality and looks when it comes to tailor-made pieces. Excuse me, may I inspect the catalogs for fabrics?”

With a polite nod, the shop assistant did not question the Harbinger or your baffled expression at the sudden choice of words. She was already moving around: “Most certainly, sir. I am sure you and your partner would love our available options. In fact, we also offer discounts for matching tailored ensembles for betrothed pairs if it's for a wedding or a honeymoon special.”

"Wait, wait… we are not-”

“Ah, wonderful,” Pantalone kept the same polite persona without missing a beat. However, the slight knowing smile did not go unnoticed as he glanced at you. “That will be excellent to keep in mind for the future."

What was promised as a quick visit to the tailor shop turned into Pantalone victoriously dragging you through multiple high-end workshops and analyzing the myriads of ‘honeymoon and wedding’ offers when it came to tailor-made clothes. And you, of course, could only gape at him while he kept that ever-charming grin.

“Pantalone, honey, we are not looking into engagement accessories. We are not married.”

“Oh? We are not?” - He feigned innocence and tilted his head. “Hehe, oops.”

✧ When Tartaglia made his way back with his men to Snezhnaya, the fuzzy white snow provided a stark white contrast to the shedding blood on the ground. Clear ruby red droplets stained the cool white terrain after the Harbinger’s successful expedition. 

“Lord Harbinger Tartaglia,” – a Pyro Agent approached, bowing in recognition. “Our reports are in. The site is clear; all abyssal monstrosities have been eliminated.”

Yet Childe was far from tranquil. The rush of battle was still hot in his blood, his hydro dual blades clutched tightly in his hands. Another mission dispelling any filth at the outskirts of Snezhnaya may be mundane for some Fatui skirmishers, yet for a man like Childe, this was his warm-up. 

“Ha… not bad. We finished much earlier today. And here I suspected this would take a whole day.” 

The Pyro Agent nodded – “Yes, sir, indeed. Judging by estimation, our troop would be back to the city by nightfall.”

“...Hold on, nightfall?” 

Suddenly, Tartaglia froze as if a deep culmination dawned on him. The confirmation from his subordinates did not quell his sudden shock. In mere seconds, all his battle rush and thrill of danger vanished before Tartaglia whipped around and exclaimed loudly to his men: 

“Teucer’s theater performance at school is today! My spouse is gonna kill me!” 

Without further words or thought, the Harbinger literally turned and sprinted as far as the horizon could see, leaving his subordinates baffled. Teucer? Spouse? This young Harbinger was married? 

“What… is he on about? I didn't know our lord Harbinger was married,” - the Pyro Agent mumbled, looking into the distance where the figure of a sprinting young man vanished off comically. An Anemoboxer Vanguard stepped nearby, adjusting his gauntlets. “I am pretty sure he isn't. It could be a family member.”

“Then who is the spouse…?” 

The Fatui colleagues exchanged shrugs before the other remembered – “Ah, could be his partner. Remember, they sometimes come to visit when he's training?”

“Oh, then definitely them.” – the two men stared off in the direction Tartaglia had gone, the bizarre image of their superior, so consumed by his bloodlust moments ago, suddenly halting everything to rush home for some kid’s theater performance. And accidentally calling his sweetheart his spouse would be hard to forget.

“Wanna bet he won't make it in time and his ‘spouse’ would teach him a lesson?” 

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Like You Deserve (Wolverine)

Description: Y/N wants to dom Logan

Warning: Smut

Word Count: 2,032k

Request: What about sub Logan smut?

Wade and Y/N had lots in common but one thing that stood out against the others was that they both wanted to Dom Logan ... .well Wade was never going to get the chance, Y/N made it her destiny to. Logan wouldn’t swallow his pride easy but Y/N saw the looks that he gave her when he thought she wouldn’t notice. Her suit was like deadpool but sexier so her whole body was on display for him to gawk at. What better way to get Logan to agree to submission than a party?

Wade of course threw the party and Logan was trying to cut back on the drinking so he wasn’t drinking anything that could affect this experience. Y/N decided not to drink anything either so it left them as the only 2 sober people at the party. “How much you wanna bet that Wade’s gonna try to fuck Vanessa tonight?” Logan asked. Y/N looked at him, “With her boyfriend right next to her? Yeah probably.” They watched as Wade tried so hard not to flirt with her in front of her boyfriend. “Yeah I can’t watch this.” Logan cringed and stood up. Y/N stood up as well, “We can go somewhere quiet and chat.” She offered. 

Her bedroom was everything he thought it would be. It was all types of movies and comics, her room smelled so nice thanks to the candle she lit beforehand. Almost as if She had planned this. “So is there a reason you aren’t drinking?” He asked her. She usually drank at parties but today she wasn’t and he found that odd. “Just wanted to take a break.” “Bullshit.” She looked at him, surprised.

“There’s an actual reason you aren’t drinking.” She sighed, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” She said. He turned his whole body towards her while laying on her bed. “Hit me.” She wanted to be like Wade and actually hit him rather than tell him. “You would certainly get it out of me drunk.” She said and looked over at him. “Or you could just tell me.” She shook her head, “I can’t believe you’re gonna make me say it.” She whined.

He got off the bed, “Fine then don’t. I’ll leave.” He said and went to leave her room. “I wanna fuck you.” She blurts out. He steps dead in his tracks and turns to look at her, “That’s it?” What did he mean by that? “Well I mean that literally. I wanna fuck YOU.” “You wanna be in control?” He asked as if she was joking. She nodded and her face got really red. “Yeah as hot as you are, No.” He said and she stood up. “You won’t let me dominate you? You don’t think that would be hot?” She asked. “Our first time fucking isn’t going to be you in control. It’s gonna be pounding into you like you deserve.” He said to her.

A few months later Y/N was handcuffing him to the bed, “What was it that you said to me before we got together? You wanted to fuck me like I deserve? Well baby boy I wanna fuck you like you deserve.” She purred and got off the bed to see him. He tried to hide his hatred for being chained up.

Y/N stared at his abs and muscles that were on full display for her to see. “Gosh baby you have such a perfect body.” She said and walked and started tracing his abs. They were perfect and hairy. “I just wanna hump every inch of you.” She purrs and he tenses up at her touches and words. Her fingers travel to his hard on that was clothed. It was the only part of him that was clothed.

The second her fingers traced over his hard on he hissed. “I barely touched you baby.” She teased and gripped him. He held back a pathetic moan of need as her tiny held what she could. She leaned down and licked up his abs making his breathing heavier. “Mmm you taste so good.” She said and took off her clothes. His eyes widened at her naked body as if he had never seen it before. He had tons of times but it never failed to amaze him.

Once she was naked she took her panties that were wet and shoved them in his mouth. “Just a little taste for later.” She winks at him. She straddles his body and moves up to his abs. They were hard and perfect for what she was about to do. She gasps as she runs her wet pussy over his abs getting them wet. He watched as she did this slowly teasing him but herself too. Each time her clit touched his abs she moaned a little louder each time. He wished that he could just take a hold over her and fuck her on his abs but he couldn’t.

It was long after that she was tired of teasing herself and started humping his abs fully. Her hands placed on his chest as she got a steady rhythm going. His eyes were glued to her face as he watched her pleasureful expressions. Her body thrusted against his as she gasped and moaned. “Fuck for so long I’ve dreamt and humped my pillow just imagining your abs.” She whined as the bed shook with her thrusts. He moans against the panties at her words. She removes her panties from his mouth and puts them in hers as she continues to ride him. “Fuck baby girl you look so hot.” He groans and her head falls back. The panties fall from her mouth as her jaw drops from how close she is. “Baby please wait and cum on my cock or my face. I don’t care.” He was begging. Something she never thought he would do. His abs felt amazing but his dick would feel better. She stops her humping and throws her panties somewhere in the room.

With wobbly legs she stands up and pulls down his boxers. His hard dick is leaking at the tip and begging to be touched. He was so big and each time she was still nervous about his size. She crawled back on him and took his dick in her hand. Though her hand couldn’t wrap all the way around it, it still felt good. Fuck it felt amazing to him. Her hands were like silk and he loved the feeling of them on him. He groaned and threw his hand as she started jerking him off, “That feel good bub?” She asked, teasing him and mocking his pet name for everyone. “Fuck darlin’ your hand is amazing but you’re pussy is better.” She giggled at his words. Fucking giggled. He loved that sound more than anything.

“Or I could make you cum so many times. Milking you dry.” She said and his eyes rolled at her answer. “I have you exactly where I want you Logan. I need to take advantage of that.” Her hand was speeding up the pace. His hips bucked up until her hand as he groaned. “The first time I cum has to be in that pretty little cunt. I won’t accept it any other way.” He grunts and she laughs. “Oh you won’t? I don’t think you have much say in where you’re cumming.” She says and speeds up her hand. He was so close to his orgasm but he didn’t want to cum like that.

“No fuck please let me cum in your pussy.” He begged her. There he was again, begging her. Her hand stops, “You’re very lucky that I wanna cum all over your cock.” She says and moves to position herself. She rubs his tip all over her pussy making them both gasp. “Let me inside please.” “Impatient little thing aren’t ya Wolvy? You’ll get what you want.” He was by no means little but that wasn’t what he was focused on. She was teasing him and it was starting to hurt. Before he could beg anymore she finally took him in and oh did it feel amazing. Her pussy swallowed him whole and he loved every second of her taking him in with caution.

Her jaw dropped as he ripped her open like it was the first time. Both of them are already edged and ready to go. Her pussy was leaking around him. His eyes couldn’t leave the sight of her taking him in until he was gone. “Fuck you’re so big.” She whined and let herself adjust to him. Though he was being an impatient fuck and thrusted up into her causing her to moan loudly. He smirked at her reaction but the glare that was present on her face told him he was in trouble. “You weren’t supposed to do that Wolvy.” She said and if it wasn’t for the fact that every time they had sex she had to adjust to him she would have gotten off him.

“Please baby. I need you to fuck me.” Oh wow. The begging was one thing but to tell her to fuck him. He had lost it, truly. She let herself slowly grind on his dick and even though he was whiny and telling her to stop teasing him, she enjoyed it. “I would be pounding into you now.” He groaned and she laughed. “I have never seen you so whiny and bratty. It’s almost like that’s why I’m doing it.” She started riding him a little faster. He wanted so bad to grip her hips and drag her on his cock. She could tell that he wasn’t happy with her pace but he was deep in her and hitting spots that even without him “ramming” into her, it still felt good.

She could cum from this pace but Logan needed more. Her head fell back and she let out little moans as her hips sped up a little more but not much. “You’re so deep.” She gasped out. He started growling like an animal and she looked down at him. “Aww baby is this not good enough for you?” She asked with a fake pout and sighed. “You’re lucky that I wanna cum.” She said before dragging herself on his dick and riding him the way he wants. “Fuck yes.” He groans, loudly. She whined his name and placed both her hands on his chest. His eyes never left her fucked out face.

“You’re so fucking pretty baby.” He groaned and if she could she would roll her eyes at him. He wanted her to let him touch her. “Let me mark you baby please.” He begged and she was high on pleasure to care so she stopped and grabbed the keys to the cuffs and undid them. The second his hands were free he gripped her hips and dragged her on his cock so fast it took her breath away. “Yeah that’s it baby. Fuck you look so good on top.” He praised her and her pussy fluttered around him at that.

He chuckled, “Yeah you like that? I know she did.” He looked down at her pussy that looked so full of his cock. “Logan fuck if you keep talking like that I’m gonna cum.” She whined. “That’s the point baby.” She felt herself on the edge but she wanted him to cum first. “Logan I need you to cum first baby.” “Never. My woman will always cum before me.” He groans and holds himself back. “Cum for me darlin’ drench my cock.” She gasped and let out a loud moan of his name as she orgasmed all over him.

He bit his lip and followed right after her. “Fuck baby.” She cried as she rode out her orgasm. His eyes never left her face to see how fucking pretty she looked as she came all over him. She collapsed on his chest and he hugged her. “You did so good, baby. You made me feel so good.” He said out of breath. She yawned and closed her eyes, “I love you Logan. Thanks for that.” He smiled and kissed her head, “Love you too bub.”

[pathologicalreid]

christmas (baby please come home) | s.r.

in which Spencer isn't home to put his kids to bed on Christmas Eve, but they wake up to a surprise on Christmas morning

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff content warnings: spencer's first post prison christmas, frankensteined the plot of "surface tension", the same family as "here with me", crying, christmas word count: 3.19k a/n: merry christmas!! this is kinda like my gift to you, mostly since it's been sitting in my brain for forever!!!!!!! i love u all! also happy first day of hanukkah if you celebrate <33

“But Daddy’s not home,” your daughter whimpered as she shuffled under her covers, she looked up at you with wide, curious eyes.

You carefully smoothed out the top of her floral comforter, “I know, baby,” you whispered, reaching up to pinch her cheek affectionately. You’d let them stay up late to watch the Santa tracker, but eventually, Finn fell asleep on you, and Livvy’s yawns were enough to convince you that it was bedtime. “You still have to go to sleep. Santa will come whether Daddy’s home or not, and we’ll just do the gifts from Mommy and Daddy when he gets back.”

At three years old, Olivia was beginning to understand Spencer being gone the same way Eleanor did; she knew his absence was entirely out of her control, and that didn’t sit well with your middle child. You knew you had gotten incredibly lucky when Spencer had been home for Finn’s birthday and Livvy’s had fallen during his sabbatical, but you also knew that you were due for a missed holiday, you just wished it could’ve been Thanksgiving or New Year’s.

You kissed her forehead before leaving, making sure to leave the door open a crack so the monsters wouldn’t get her before you went to Nell’s room. “Hey, honey,” you whispered, closing your eldest’s door behind you before going to sit on the edge of her bed. She had her own Christmas tree set up in the corner of the room, the artificial purple tree providing the glow that her nightlight normally would. “Are you ready for bed?”

Nell was lying on top of her covers, staring at her still ceiling fan as she ignored your question. While Livvy was just starting to understand what it meant when Spencer was gone, Nell understood it best, and she had for years now. She’d understood when Spencer was in prison, and she understood that he was missing Christmas now.

Slowly, you laid down next to your daughter, propping your head up on the bed and smoothing her hair back. “It’s still Christmas,” you tried to reassure her, but part of you knew that it was a thankless effort, there was nothing you could tell her that would fix her father’s absence. “We can call Dad in the morning while we open presents,” you offered, hoping she’d appreciate you coming halfway. “If he’s not busy, maybe we can video chat, and you can show him everything Santa brought you.”

“It’s not the same,” she told you, furrowing her brows and turning away from you on the bed.

Sighing, you pressed a kiss to the back of her head, “I know, Nellie. I know it’s not fair that he doesn’t get to be here for Christmas, but Daddy will come back.” There was a sense of urgency in your voice; you were afraid that if your five-year-old lost the joy in Christmas, you’d somehow failed her as a mother. “He’ll be home for your birthday, I promise,” you whispered.

“You can’t promise,” she reminded you, knowing that you and Spencer were generally very specific about your promises, leaning toward the ‘I promise I’ll try’ variety.

You hummed in response, “I’d pinky promise you that. Dad will be home for your birthday.” You held up your pinky finger, waiting for her to roll over and reciprocate.

Eleanor rolled over, holding up her pinky finger while brown eyes watched you apprehensively, “Okay,” she breathed, hooking your fingers together and kissing them.

As soon as Spencer told you about the bureau’s contingency to him returning to the BAU, you’d done the math. Eleanor’s sixth birthday would fall near the beginning of his next sabbatical, so you didn’t hesitate to make this promise. “It’s time for bed, my girl,” you whispered, smiling at her softly as she pulled the sleeves of her Christmas pajamas over her hands. “Santa can’t come if you’re not asleep,” you reminded her, sitting up on the bed and getting up, tucking her purple comforter under her chin before you made your final stop of the night.

You’d brought Finn to his room before getting the girls settled, but now that you knew they were alright, you came back to his room. The white noise machine was going, and he was fast asleep in his crib. His pacifier, which you were trying to wean him off of, had fallen from his mouth and onto the sheets, so you set it to the side. To you, the second Christmas was always more exciting than the first, now that he was fourteen months old, he had the dexterity to help open presents.

Ruffling his hair, you kissed him goodnight, just like you’d done with the girls, and you left his room, closing the door so that no one would disturb the light-sleeping baby.

There was a late night ahead of you, but first, you settled yourself onto the couch in the living room and pulled out your phone. Upon opening your messages with Spencer, you couldn’t help but be disappointed to find that there was nothing unread. You thought about sending him a text telling him that you all miss him but eventually decided against it. You didn’t want to make him feel guilty. At least, no more guilty than he likely already did.

You turned on the TV, quietly playing a Christmas movie as you began the festivities. All of the gifts had been expertly hidden in the master bedroom, split between being shoved under your bed and in your closet, but a new playhouse for the girls had been dropped off earlier. It was too big for your room, so your parents had stored it in their basement in the interim.

That would be a struggle to bring in from the garage, so you decided to start small, pulling all of the kids’ stockings from their hooks and laying them out on the floor before going upstairs to get the stuffers.

With the movie playing, you filled the stockings with treats and little toys. A few times you imagined your phone buzzing, but each time there was nothing on the screen. The loneliness started to set in as you rehung the stockings, making sure the kids’ names faced forward above the fireplace.

This wasn’t your first Christmas alone, Spencer had been in Idaho for Olivia’s first Christmas, but neither of the girls remembered it.

They’d remember this one, you thought to yourself, walking back up the stairs to grab a load of boxes. Thankfully, they were already wrapped, but you did have to avoid getting ribbon in your mouth as you carried the armful of gifts down the stairs.

Masterfully, you adjusted them beneath the tree, trying to visualize where they’d all end up in the end as you heard something distantly, but you brushed it off as someone leaving your neighbor’s holiday party. You stood up, wiping your hands on your pajamas as you evaluated your handiwork, shrugging before you turned around for the next load, “Oh,” you breathed, watching the handle on the door from the garage turn.

The door opened slowly, revealing your husband on the other side, his black peacoat draped over his arm and purple scarf looped around his neck. He hooked his car keys on the key hook before he noticed you, brown eyes finding your pajama-clad figure. His lopsided smile was all-knowing as always, he knew he had surprised you. In fact, it had been his goal.

You remained exactly where you were, watching him from the den as he put his shoes away and hung up his outerwear. It was almost as if you’d convinced yourself he was a mirage, and any sudden movements would cause his visage to dissipate. “Hey,” Spencer said, cocking his head at you as if he were confused why you hadn’t come any closer to him. He peeked around you to look at the tree, “Did the kids get to bed okay?”

Instead of answering him, your body naturally responded to what seemed like the miraculous appearance of your husband by producing tears. At first, they just welled along your lash line, but as they started to fall, you buried your face in your hands.

Spencer was there, not only in the house but also taking the initiative to approach you, he wrapped his arms around your torso, taking your tearful form under his care, “Is everything alright?” He asked, slowly dragging his hand up and down your spine, humming as you reciprocated his embrace and pressed your face into his shirt, drying your eyes and taking in the moment.

“Everything is wonderful,” you responded, your voice muffled by his shirt. He smelled like stale dark roast and the jet, but you were too relieved by his arrival to truly mind.

Tightening his grip briefly, he pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, “Right, well. You’re crying, so I had to make sure,” he murmured, swaying gently to the music coming from the film.

You loosed a breath of relief, “I can’t believe you’re here. The kids were miserable at bedtime, Nell wouldn’t even talk to me until I told her you’ll be home for her birthday,” you informed him, keeping your arms wrapped firmly around him while you tipped your head back to see him.

Spencer nodded in understanding, reaching up a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, “We made the arrest at eight and wrapped up around nine. Somehow, Emily convinced the pilot to leave in the middle of the night, and we were on the jet by ten. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve spent holidays in worse places, but I’d rather be here with you than in Milwaukee.”

“I will kiss Emily Prentiss on the mouth,” you told him candidly.

He raised his brows curiously, “Mhm, and what about me?”

Grinning, you pushed up on your tiptoes and pressed your lips to his, an amalgamation of a welcome home and a Merry Christmas kiss, but you pulled away before you could get carried away. “Merry Christmas, Spencer Reid, we have work to do,” you told him, taking on a mock seriousness as you nodded your head toward the Christmas tree, which only had a fraction of your kids’ gifts beneath it.

“Merry Christmas, darling,” Spencer reciprocated, pressing one more kiss to your lips, “Let’s get started.”

Spinning out of his grip, you found you had much more pep in your step with his arrival, beaming as the two of you went through the house as quietly as possible, gathering the gifts for the kids without rousing any suspicion. Even grabbing the playhouse from the garage didn’t seem like as much of a task with him around.

You adjusted the stockings as it neared two in the morning, Spencer returned from upstairs with the last few gifts, having changed his clothes into pajamas that neatly matched yours—a family set that was a gift from your Penelope. “They look great,” Spencer assured you, pushing his glasses up on his nose as he stood back, admiring your handiwork.

Walking backward until your back was against your chest, you tilted your head to the side, appraising the mountain of gifts beneath the tree, “Do you think we went overboard this year?” Between the gifts from Santa and the gifts from the two of you, the heap was rather intimidating.

“No,” Spencer answered, “bigger kids, bigger gifts.” He put his arms around your waist, resting his chin on top of your head, “besides, they’re good kids.”

You hummed in response, leaning into him ever so slightly. Part of you felt like Spencer was still experiencing guilt surrounding the three months he spent away from you and the kids while he was in prison. No amount of time at home or therapy would ever absolve him of that guilt, but it never hurt to try, “Hey,” you whispered up to him, “I got you something.”

He frowned down at you, “I thought we said no gifts this year?”

Scoffing, you walked over to the home office, “We say that every year and neither of us ever stick to it, so go get whatever it is you got for me.”

Spencer rolled his eyes, but even so, he made his way upstairs to where you knew a gift was hiding in his bedside table. Upon his return, he faltered at the large box you’d placed on the coffee table and held up the small box in his hands; you beamed at him as he eyed the behemoth of a present.

He handed you the smaller box, instinctively, you admired the wrapping before starting to open it, recognizing the jewelry box before you had even discarded your wrapping paper. “Oh, Spence,” you said, looking at the necklace in the box, a dainty chain with five small gemstones on it. His birthstone and yours, followed by Nell’s amethyst, Livvy’s sapphire, and Finn’s tourmaline all strung next to each other, “it’s perfect,” you told him, lightly touching the gems with your fingertips. You’d mentioned wishing you had an everyday necklace a few weeks ago while getting ready, and he must’ve been listening more attentively than you’d thought.

Finally, you had him open his gift, and he was entirely speechless as he opened the cardboard flaps. His mouth gaped as he lifted one of the books in his hand, the title and edition identical to one that had been previously ruined in your house. “Fuck,” he cursed, looking from you to the books and back again.

You shrugged, “It’s not all of them, but a pretty good amount of them. Some of those editions are proving difficult to recover, but I’ve—” You’re cut off, startled by Spencer pressing his lips to yours. “I’m still looking for some,” you said breathlessly once he pulled away.

Spencer seemed unsure of what to do with himself; you’d managed to find replacements for three-fourths of the books that had previously been burned by an accidental fire set earlier this year. The only time your marriage had ever been on the rocks was when Diana lived with you, but even then, you’d been planning this surprise. “You are…” Spencer started, uncharacteristically at a loss for words, “This is incredible,” he told you, shaking his head in disbelief, setting the book down in the box and nearly tackling you in a hug.

Laughing, you buried your face in his shoulder to muffle the sound, “I love you,” you murmured to him, his body now next to yours on the couch.

“I love you too,” he said, looking at you with glassy eyes. “Wow,” he said, sniffling, “I need to get you something else. A necklace isn’t enough,” he told you, likely already thinking of options for addendums.

You shook your head, “Trust me when I tell you that your being here is worth all of the rare books in the world to me,” you reassured him, running your fingers through his hair. Humming, you adjusted your head on the pillow, “Are you gonna fall asleep like this?”

He nodded, “If you keep playing with my hair like that. How long do you think we have until they wake up?” He asked, keeping his eyes closed while you peeked over him to check the time.

Last year, Finn had woken up the whole house on Christmas Day at four in the morning, and seeing as it was nearing three, you wondered if it was worth sleeping at all. You continued combing through Spencer’s hair, “Do you want to go upstairs?”

“This is a really great couch,” he mumbled, already falling asleep on the couch, leading you to grab the blanket that was thrown over the back and haphazardly drape it over the two of you.

Unfortunately, it felt like you’d gotten no sleep at all when you heard the first stirring upstairs, “Mommy,” Olivia called out, which would likely wake up Finn and Nell.

You got up from the couch, waking up Spencer in the process. Your poor husband, who was probably already running on little sleep, got up and folded the blanket you had been using, returning it to its home while you went upstairs to get the kids.

Livvy’s eyes went wide when she saw you come from downstairs, “Did Santa come?” She asked you, nearly bouncing with excitement.

As you expected, the door to Eleanor’s room swung open, revealing your sleep-deprived five-year-old in her rumpled pajamas, “Yes, Santa brought gifts for everyone,” you answered, ruffling her hair before going into Finn’s room, hoping to wake him gently before the voices did a less delicate job. “Hi buddy,” you whispered, looking back to see the girls gathered at the door, completely unaware that their dad was waiting for them downstairs. “Merry Christmas,” you said softly, his scrunched face not processing what you were saying, but happy to see you, nonetheless.

You picked him up from the crib and herded the girls to the stairs, letting them lead the way down while you carried the baby. Right behind them, you watched the realization dawn on their faces as soon as they caught sight of Spencer, “Daddy!” Nell shouted, leading her little sister as they ran to him.

Laughing lightly, you let a squirming Finn down, running to Spencer in the same way the girls just had. From a distance, you watched as all three of your kids entirely bypassed the gifts under the tree and on the mantle and went straight to what was more important—their father was home for Christmas.

Spencer crouched down to get Finn, and at the same time, Livvy jumped in excitement, leaving Spencer falling backward and sitting on the ground while the kids formed a less-than-graceful dog pile on the floor. You took that as your cue to join in on the festivities, kneeling on the floor next to the familial pile, uncontrollable giggles emanated from everyone involved.

You wrangled the two littles in your arms, giving each of them dozens of kisses and receiving more laughter in return as Eleanor settled down. Your eldest took her moment of alone time and laid her head on Spencer’s chest, the grin on her face overtook the rest of her face, “Best Christmas ever,” she whispered before rolling off of him, Spencer instinctively lifting his hand so she doesn’t hit her head on the leg of the coffee table.

Nellie sat up giving you a toothy grin, sticking her tongue through where she was missing a front tooth. Everyone took notice of Olivia pointing at the tree, her mouth shaped like an “o” in awe, “Can we open that one?” She asked, pointing to the largest present in the stack—which, of course, had her name on it.

“Stockings first,” Spencer said, leading to a pout from your middle child, but it was quickly wiped away when he kissed the crown of her head. Your husband got up first, taking Finn from where he was tucked into your side, and set him on his hip, “Okay, who wants their stocking?”

Everyone’s hand went up—including yours.